FBI'S MOST WANTED; A LIST OF DESCRIPTION DOS AND DONTS
Half of the stories you see on this website suffer from a simple, and easily-reversible flaw. Show, not tell. Specifically, characters. The paragraph below is an example of a writing style that is unimaginative, cheap, lazy, and unappealing to read.
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"Hi, my name is Brenda. I've been going to Fuckmesilly University for three years now. I'm 5'2", blonde, and I weigh 100 pounds. I have DD breasts, and bright blue eyes. I like to shave my pussy, but sometimes only in a landing strip. I find it hard to buy bra's sometimes, so I often go without."
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There are many MANY things wrong with the above paragraph, but the first and foremost is SHOW not TELL. This is the most basic rule that you learn in writing. The first time I heard about show not tell, I was in fifth grade. If a visiting author of CHILDREN'S books knows it, then we, as adults, should also know.
Now, granted; it is a lot harder to show your main character's desirable traits if you're writing from first person point of view. If you often have trouble describing what you're character looks like from 1st person, try writing in third.
Now, there are several very simple techniques that can be used to give the reader an idea of main characters, but there is also a very simple rule. Let's call it the golden rule of Show, not Tell.
GOLDEN RULE: Don't tell all at once.
If you give away you're character in little snippets and bits, it's far easier for the reader to digest. Maybe you think I'm going way too deep for a simple wank story. If you write simple wank stories, then the 'most wanted list' approach is natural. But if you're struggling to make a long erotic story, or a story with a plot, then this rule will help immensely.
Here is a second example, different character.
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I woke up with a start. Rachel's alarm clock was going off. I groaned and put my face back into the pillow. I fuckin HATE mondays, and my roommate has a class at eight, so I can't help but get up at the crack of dawn with her.
I eventually gave up at trying to sleep again, so I minced down the bunk bed ladder, it always gets really cold in winter. Rachel always hogs the mirror and sink, so I have learned the ancient art of braiding my hair without one. Rachel says that my hair looks better down, but I'm Irish, so I have the reddest curliest goddamn hair the world has ever seen. I have to braid it so I don't go crazy, or get the teeth of my comb lost in the ensuing tangle.
I pulled the blinds closed and quickly pulled off my pajamas and got dressed. Me and Rachel both pull on sweaters, because of the weather, and she gives my chest a longing look.
'Beth, I wish I had boobs like yours... I mean, you can't even SEE mine when I'm wearing all of this shit!'
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This style of writing does take longer, another reason why the writers of quick jerk-off stories don't like to employ it. It took an extra two paragraphs, but we learned so many things, and without the awkward 'Most Wanted List' intro. We learned her name, hair color, that she goes to college, that it's winter, and even a bit of her personality. All and all, the passage reads easier, and it feels more natural.
TECHNIQUES; HOW TO BREAK THE VICIOUS CYCLE
I use several techniques to my advantage in my stories, they are all simple, and if you don't use them gratuitously often, they pay off and make the story seem more natural.
