It was three days since she had seen him and she had time to ponder. She had been confused. Not by what had been done to her but by what had not.
Before he so unceremoniously removed her clothes, she'd held mental images of painful whippings and clamps squeezing her most delicate of parts but none of that happened. She dreaded it when they began and she was certain it was coming but she felt some sort of disappointment when it didn't happen. A yearning.
This girl was no masochist. She'd heard the term "pain slut" and she knew she was nothing of the sort. As she had been kneeling in front of him, exposed after he so casually sliced her clothing off, she expected to feel stinging blows. Wasn't this the image always portrayed? Wasn't this what it was all about? Wasn't this dominance? She'd been thinking about the event for days now.
Instead he was almost gentle. Well, maybe that was the wrong word. He was amused. He appeared to enjoy her discomfort. He walked slowly around her and smiled slightly. He held her chin and raised it so he looked her in the eye and then , after a moment, pushed her head down as though instructing her to refrain from looking at him again. He momentarily removed the ball gag and he ran his fingers around her mouth and shoved two of them deep between her lips, passing her tongue and eliciting a slight gag. He softly said " We'll have to work on that." He roughly replaced the ball, tightening the leather retaining strap tighter than before.
He put his hand around her throat and squeezed a little more than gently. She felt a bit of panic race through her and it increased as he used his other hand to pinch her nostrils closed. He held her like this, her staring complacently downward and and increasing urgency to breath building inside her. He seemed to understand the exact instant that terror took over her thoughts. She knew he understood that instant because he held on for another two seconds. She gasped and tears began to flow as she regained her composure. He quietly used a little finger to scoop a tear off of her cheek and quietly taste it. His smile deepened as he did this.
All the time she was exposed. This was someone she knew but only in an academic and friendly way. The discussion of this type of intimacy had been one that seemed distant and yet here she was. Open to him. Available. She would later learn just how much he loved that word. Available. Always available. She was proud of her breasts and extended nipples and tried to suck in her belly which was ravaged by time and babies.
Thinking back she wondered if it was then that she began to have the desire. The want. The need to feel. More.