Thoughts Of A New Sub

My heartbeat quickens at the anticipation of His arrival. He promised something new and exciting today and I am weak with anticipation. It has only been a couple of months now but I am adapting to my new lifestyle quite well I think. I've known for a long time that I was not happy with my life but I dared not explore the reasons why. Sometimes it is scary when one embarks on a new and different road. What should I expect, how will I feel, will this at last make me happy?

I hear His key in the door, I am quivering and it is hard to catch my breath. I have on His favorite nightie, nothing underneath, and His drink is mixed just as He likes it. As He comes through the door, I am eagerly awaiting Him, His smile, His smell, His touch. He looks at me and smiles, pleased that I have prepared myself for Him. He puts down His briefcase, takes His drink and kisses me, long and slow with a hint of what is to come.

As we sit and talk about the day, His hands slowly stroke my hair, my face, my arms. He is relaxing me, preparing me. We talk about the day's activities, I love hearing about His day and that He though of me, missed me. He reaches over and attaches the leash to my collar and pulls me to Him. The kiss is aggressive, hungry; it takes my breath away. Slowly His hand reaches my breasts and he caresses my nipples. They are hard with longing for Him. He pulls back and looks deeply into my eyes seeing the lust building for Him. He returns to his drink, that is enough for now, He is not in a hurry, He has all night and will make me wait until He is ready for me to surrender to Him. It doesn't matter that I am ready now, He knows best.

He orders me to go and get my toys and I do so without hesitation. These toys are new to me and very exciting, and he knows this. As He puts the blindfold over my eyes, I shudder with thoughts of things to come. He places the gag in my mouth. Even though He knows I do not care for it, He also knows I will not refuse. He orders me not to make a sound or I will be punished. My breathing is rapid and my body is taught. I hear the sound of my toy as he turns it on and my body stiffens in eager anticipation. I am waiting….nothing, just the sound of my toy. Why is He not touching me? I reach for Him but He is not there, just that sound. Where has He gone, I cannot speak, cannot ask Him what He is doing. I am helpless; I can do nothing but sit and wait.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, I feel Him come close to me, the sound of my toy getting closer. I jump as He touches my clit with the vibrating toy I love so much. Softly at first, then more insistent. "Open your legs," he commands and I do so immediately. I feel His magical hands, touching, probing, stroking me. He gently kisses my face and licks my lips around the gag. He whispers in my ear…"I love you Kitten". Then his tongue is caressing my ear, teasing, licking, driving me to a world where nothing exists but the two of us. He slowly brings me to a frenzy constantly telling me not to cum. I know I must not until He says I can or be ready to accept whatever punishment He deems necessary. It is all I can do to hold myself, I am ready, I must cum…."Don't cum yet" he whispers in my ear. He knows the longer He makes me wait the stronger it will be. "Please Master, can I cum now?"

"Not yet"

I am gasping for breath, my whole body ready to explode. "Please Master, now?"

"Not yet" This continues and just when I am sure I can no longer honor His request, He utters the words I long to hear..."Ok Baby, you can cum now" My body explodes with a fire and passion I have never known before. This is just the beginning of our journey.

As He picks me up and takes me to the bedroom, He cannot see the tears of joy in my eyes, tears for Him. He has given my life a new meaning, a new purpose. I live to please Him, His happiness is my main concern. The gift He gives me in return is immeasurable. He makes me whole, completes me. He is the air that I breathe, the sun on my face, the wind in my hair, the soft rain that touches me on a spring day, the crisp coolness of the wind when fall is in the air and feel of a fresh fallen snow on my face.

He is my all, my life. He cannot know the depth of my love for Him for I fear even I do not comprehend it. When He is not with me, my soul is empty, my heart is heavy. I feel as if part of me is missing. Only when He returns do I feel one again, at peace. He has brought me a greater joy than my humble words can express and to try and thank Him with words would be a useless task. I can only live my life for Him, hoping that in my deeds and actions He will know the depth of my love.