The Ten Thousand Dollar Decision

This is a true account. I choose that word carefully, for this is not a 'story' or a 'fantasy' as, it seems, are most stories on the internet – and elsewhere.

My wife, Gloria, is a woman that is considered by all who see her, as what's referred to as a 'fox' – 5' 4" tall, 120 lbs in weight, with a trim, athletic body. With a quintessential 'bubble butt', a 34b bust boasting an absence of sag and responsive nipples like pencil erasures, blonde hair, and blue eyes that can change from delight to match her smile to menace to coincide with anger.

Married after our college graduation fifteen years ago, like many married couples, we began marriage with an enthusiastic and vigorous sex life and, over the intervening years, unfortunately, degenerating from once-a-day sex to once-a-week to once-a-month.

Again, as with many couples I suppose, we experimented in the bedroom, both of us relatively uninhibited and open with one another as to our desires, preferences, and fantasies.

I had learned – especially over the past year – to become expert in my oral attentions to her delicious hard-body having been introduced to such terms as 'body worship' and 'devotional sex' (more about this subject as my narrative progresses).

I said, "especially over the past year" so I'll go back a bit more than a year to more closely examine our relationship's evolution prior to us making the ten thousand dollar decision alluded to in the title of this account.

More than once over the years I'd described my innermost secret fantasies to Gloria, feeling both embarrassed and unfulfilled when the reality of our intimate relationship failed to match these revelations.

Some would describe my feelings as 'kinky' or 'fetishistic' but, then, I'd read that many men shared these thoughts and feelings.

In a word, if asked to describe my overall sexual orientation, I would have to describe myself as a 'sexual submissive' dreaming of experiencing the more common dynamics associated with this term – to no avail.

Gloria had attempted to 'spank' me – with little success, owing to her "not wanting to hurt (me)" and her belief that this fantasy of mine was only that...a fantasy. Her conviction, according to her, that I would simply wimp out if she was too severe in her attempts to satisfy my requests for more severity and a feeling that she didn't want to pursue such a relationship only to feel herself a failure to make it work.

Gloria has always been a woman who doesn't believe in doing anything by halves. Whether at her work, on the golf course, playing tennis, maintaining a garden or any of her other hobbies and pursuits, she had a lifelong propensity for giving anything and everything her all.

I made reference to "...the more common dynamics associated with this term (sexual submissive)..." and I caution the reader that I must begin to be more graphic, more open, in my description of these so-called "dynamics".

First, the "spanking" – if that's an accurate term to describe what I craved. I'd been an avid reader of erotica on the 'net, learning the lexicon of the bdsm/ds adherents. Let's start with those acronyms. BDSM, I'd learned, was shorthand for Bondage & Discipline and Sado-Masochism. I knew that the former carried a strong appeal, while the latter was frightening in its implications.

I had long since decided that my understanding of D/S (domination and submission) was such that I 'had a quarrel with it' inasmuch as I was not titillated by the image of a two hundred pound woman body builder who bullies and coerces her lover into submitting to her rule.

Perhaps some would consider it splitting hairs but I preferred to see my ideal wife in a framework of 'submission and domination'. That is to say, I imagined a relationship wherein I voluntarily submitted myself to my wife's domination and she accepted this responsibility to dominate me within a consensual, loving context.

From my reading, I'd become familiar with CP (corporal punishment); Femdom (female domination); forced 'cleanup' (the requirement that I must lick and swallow my semen immediately after ejaculation - something that carried a compulsive appeal prior to cumming only to morph into revulsion immediately thereafter); disciplinary wife (primarily from the "Disciplinary Wives Club" web site); rimming or anal worship (the tonguing of the dominant's anus at a minimum to licking of her crack and tongue-fucking of her butt-hole for her pleasure).

I'd read of "pegging" (the use of a strap-on or double-dildo to fuck a man). I'd come to believe in the perspective of 'discipline' vs. 'punishment' and the differentiation between the two being simply one of the former being dispensed prior to a man's ejaculation and the latter dispensed immediately afterwards.

I had learned, through my reading, of 'milking' or the ejaculation with a minimum of sexual pleasure for the man, by prostate massage – either with a finger, a prostate massager, or a dildo. This technique, I believed, would be especially effective when a man resisted completion due to a fear of the more acute pain resulting from a diminution of sexual desire prior to his punishment.

I had imagined being embarrassed by requiring me to masturbate in front of Gloria and, further, being required to cum on one or another part of her body and, of course, then being required to cleanup my mess afterwards – with my tongue.

I had read of 'safe words' (the option of the submissive to halt a spanking or punishment, for example, with a code word – most commonly 'red light') and believed them to be nothing more than a method for the submissive to 'top from the bottom'.

When I imagined 'bondage and discipline' I took it literally; not playful spankings that were easily endured without bondage or restraints but, instead, 'thrashings' that would be unendurable without restraints. This, I believed, would be especially important in the dispensing of punishment due to the severity of the chastisement and the impossibility of remaining 'in position'.

I had come to believe that the lack of restraints provided, further, for another opportunity to top from the bottom, since the submissive could slow the pace of the spanking by merely moving and making it more difficult to deliver the desired (by the dominant) measure of pain.

I'd learned of the most common instruments (or 'toys') used for cp. Paddles – wood, leather, and lexan; canes – bamboo and rattan; switches – and the more severe so-called birch, being a bundle of switches; riding crops and quirts; and less esoteric, common household items, such as wooden spoons (a favorite, evidently, judging from the internet), hairbrushes, bath brushes, rulers, yard sticks, etc. (many, seemingly, evocative of childhood experiences sexualizing spanking and, often, the submission to female authority – from a mother, sister, babysitter, etc.

My fascination and obsession with these imaginings led me to badger Gloria to accede to my wishes for her domination and a refusal to accept her insistence that my desire for such an 'arrangement' was nothing more than the stuff of fantasies with little or no connection with (the possible) reality.

Her refusal, that is, until one fateful day a bit over a year ago...

"Dave", she said in a serious tone. "I want to have a talk. If you want to have any hope of realizing your fantasies for our relationship, you will remain silent until if and when I ask you a question." This ominous opening said as we sat in our cozy den, sipping on our respective glasses of chilled wine.

She'd abruptly shut off the television where we'd been watching some mindless 'reality show' and took on what appeared to be a stern countenance.

"I've listened to your repeated requests for my sexual domination. To your requests for corporal punishment and more.

"As you are aware, I've always seen your entreaties for my acquiescence to such a relationship, as simply fantasies. You also obviously know that I have grown to enjoy your attentions with your tongue – both to my pussy and to my bottom.

"Always, I've considered this 'play' on your part to be an attempt to demonstrate you're sincere in your desire to, as you have put it, be submissive.

"Although I've found some aspects of your subservience enjoyable and, to some extent, evidence of your genuine insistence that you want a total immersion in this lifestyle, I've found others to be a disappointment.

"To tell me, for instance, that you want to be forced to lick up your cum, only to turn away when confronted with my 'creampie' and refuse to eat it, has caused me to doubt your ability to make a commitment of submission to my authority.

"You've told me that you wish to be possessed by me – to be spanked to tears, to be broken, as you've put it, like one would train a horse. But I've always wondered how you'd react if I were to subject you to such severity.

"I've come to conclude that your offer of total obedience to my domination and acceptance of my punishment to be dubious. Dubious because of your possible belief that I will never accept this offer and, further, that I am incapable of doing what would be necessary to establish and enforce my dominance.

"To state it plainly, I think that you are convinced that you can float this fantasy without threat of consequences. That is to say, that I am unwilling to beat you severely and regularly in order to achieve the desired results.

"In this, I tend to agree. At this point anyway, I am likely incapable of such severity. I believe, on the other hand, that I could learn to do these things if I felt that it wasn't an exercise in futility. On the obverse side of the equation, I have doubted if you have the balls to accept my discipline and punishment without wimping out and wanting to opt out of the deal before we accomplished our goal; to wit, your acceptance of my authority, as enforced with corporal punishment.

"For all of these reasons, I've searched for answers. I have, in fact, searched for answers outside of our marriage's current state. In this quest for answers, I feel that I've found a practical and efficacious method to truly affect a paradigm shift without endangering our marriage and my respect for you.

"You've asked if I would lose respect for you if you were to accept such a submissive role to me. I've repeatedly told you that my love for you and, admittedly, my belief that I would enjoy living a life together with such power dynamics, would allow me to continue to respect you.

"I truly believe, Dave, that it takes balls to even approach one's wife with such proposals. I believe also that it would take courage to submit to a whipping if you knew that the whipping wasn't going to be simply playful. If you knew that you would be hurt terribly. Not injured – but hurt much more than you wished.

"What I could not and would not respect would be your guiding me down this road only to pussy out when faced with the reality of truly being whipped to tears; to truly being required to eat your cum whenever and however you ejaculated; to being regularly fucked with a dildo; by being required to masturbate on my body and lick up your mess; and all of the other things that you seem to delight in talking about.

"I've decided that I am weary of your entreaties. I've decided that talk is cheap. I've decided to take the necessary steps, in my view, to ensure that this doesn't occur. I've determined a way that, once you have made the final – and I do mean final – decision to submit to me, I am prepared to take the necessary measures to make these fantasies a reality.

"I told you before I started talking this evening that I didn't want to hear you speak until I asked a question.

"So, listen up. I have only one question for you. I don't want a speech – a simple yes or no is required. Be very careful with your answer. I promise you that I'm not playing games here. This is for real. More than you have even imagined. One question only.

"Are you prepared to accept my decisions in our relationship from this day forward? If so, I promise you will be disciplined regularly – that is, paddled, caned, and whipped to tears at my whim. I promise that you will be punished regularly, always after you have cum. Punished severely, until you cry like a little girl.

"As a reward, I promise you that, through your submission to my total authority, you will be privileged to serve me with your lips and tongue. We will be having intercourse frequently, as we did when first married. The main difference will be that you will always be required to eat my creampie afterwards. Always, without exception.

"I promise you that you will learn to be absolutely obedient and will suffer terribly when you disobey or disrespect me. Now, Dave, for your answer. Only one word – yes or no.

During Gloria's speech, I'd been variously aroused and frightened. I'd felt the formation of precum in my underwear, my erection evidence of my excitement hearing her words. At the same time, I'd been terrified at the finality of her position. In spite of the terror, though, I'd had little doubt as to my decision and didn't hesitate to answer.

"Yes."

"I accept your decision, Dave. I accept your submission. Let me explain where we go from here.

"I've been able to locate a marriage counselor, of sorts. An unconventional counselor, to be sure. A counselor that is perfectly suited to our needs. I will not tolerate any questions on this subject. You've put yourself in my hands. You've put the future of our marriage in my hands. You will accept my decisions without question, without complaint.

"We will not be having sex tonight, although I can imagine that you're all horned up after my words to you. You will not masturbate tonight. We have an appointment tomorrow morning with our counselor and you will be ready to go by eight o'clock.

"I called your boss and told him that we had a family emergency that would require us to leave town for a time. I was rather vague but I did tell him that you'd had a death in the family and were too distraught to make the call to him. He was very understanding, telling me that you should take whatever time necessary to deal with the situation.

"Now, go to bed. Not a word. I'll be up in a while."

This, then, was the proverbial first day of the rest of our lives. A bit over a year ago, it seemed much longer. Had I known what was in store for me, for us, I may have had pause to ponder. I don't think, though, that I would have chosen differently.

End of Part I