We lie in bed watching some reality TV show. She's buried in her comforter while I'm covered with a thin sheet because I sleep hot. She rolls over and lays her head on my shoulder and puts her leg across mine. I really like when she does this. Something about it makes me feel loved. I can feel the warmth of her body as it presses into mine. I fight the urge to let my mind wander into that sensual daydream and focus on the TV. She moves to get comfortable and places her hand on my stomach. The touch of her hand makes my heart start thumping. The bulge under my sheet starts to swell despite my best efforts to destract myself by focusing on the show. I try to calm down knowing how weak I must look for being so sexually reved up while her mind is on some project or fluffy animal. Ugh, why am I so weak? I close my eyes and focus on my breathing ... embarrassment avoided.
The show isn't bad, but it isn't good enough to keep my mind from wandering back to that place of lust. My hand is on her back and I can feel how soft she is. I just want to grab and squeeze her, but I know that will only make her upset. She says it makes her feel fat when I do this. If she only knew how much I loved her body, she would never feel self conscious around me.
I let my fingers explore knowing it will only make me want her more. I reach for her arm craving the feel of her skin. It's perfect as usual. Sometimes I wish I could just cuddle up with her, both of us completely naked. We don't even need to have sex. I just want to feel her bare skin all over mine.
I lift my hand to her ear and my fingers immediately go to that little bump on the outer ridge. I don't know why but this little bump takes always me back to when we were dating. I don't care what she says, her ears are perfect. I would be sad if they were any different. I swipe the stray hairs behind her ear and I feel the soft tiny hairs on her earlobe.
She shifts her weight so I drop my hand to her back, assuming I'm bugging her. She settles into a comfortable position. My hand naturally falls right at her waist so it's always a conscious decision to not let my hands dip into her wasteband. I've learned that is not ok. I let out a sigh and decide to just rest my hand on her hip and try to get back into watching the nonsense on tv. I realize there's no use in trying this show just isnt good enough to keep my attention. Why do I keep finding myself in this situation? Probably because almost all instances where we are intimate originate from us watching TV snuggled up in bed. I've been unintentionally conditioned to think about sex when this is happening. I know the chances are slim but I feel like a man with a scratcher, this might be my lucky day.
Her arm reaches over my chest and picks up the remote. The show pauses and she rolls over on to her back. "You are hoping I have sex with you tonight, aren't you?"
"... wah .. I mean uh .... I .. if you want to. Yeah." Smooth as usual.
"If you want me, man up and just say so!"
Me: "..."
"I'm starting to think you will never get that whole submissive nonsense out of your head."
"...I'm sorry. I ..."
She cuts in "... which is why I think I've come up with a good compromise."
Wait, what?! There's no way I heard that correctly. She's known this is what I've wanted since we were dating and every time I get up the courage to talk about it, she would shut it down. Is she messing with me? I suddenly realize I'm staring at her with a blank look on my face.
"... calm down, I'm not going to be dressing up in leather and whipping you."
"Oh I wasn't ..."
She cuts in again "you want me to play this game of make-believe with you, and I want to relax without feeling like I have to put out or you'll act like a scared little hurt puppy. So here's what's going to happen. If you are horny, you can ask for permission to cum. If I approve, I'll set the terms and decide on my level of participation." Her mouth twists to a smirk as she notices the cloth of my pants flex with excitement.
I nervously do a quick waste band tuck and try to pretend like nothing happened. "Really?! Ok!" Shit, just play it cool "that sounds like a fair compromise."
She roles her eyes and turns away from me. "I figured you'd like my idea." -click- the show starts back up and she's no longer looking at me.
I try to read the side of her face for a sign of what to do next. She's already lost in the show. Does this mean she doesn't want to have sex? She sort of smiled when she noticed my excitement, so I think she might be up for it. Maybe she's testing me. I can't believe she is willing to do this for me! Ok, I need to play this smart. If I screw this up, she may never give it another chance.
I take a deep breath and try to sound confident "so you wanna have sex then?"
-click- the show pauses and turns to look at me "What?"
"I asked if you uh wanted to have sex ... with me."
"Not really." -click- unpaused.
Ouch! I really read that one wrong. She usually let's me down a softer than that. I don't want to annoy her further so I lay back and look at the TV while I sort out what just happened. Is she just toying with me? She doesn't seem to be playing around. I replay the conversation in my head. She said if I want sex, I need to ask her. Right? I did that .... I guess she just isn't in the mood.
I act like I'm watching the show, but in reality I'm just waiting for it to end. I'm still worked up so decide to just wait for her to go to sleep so I can rub one out. After a few minutes, the episode ends and she turns off the TV.
"Night" She mumbles as she turns her back to me.
"... night" I mumble back as I role over and wait for her to drift off.
I start flipping through my collection of sexy selfies she's sent me over the years. Might as well get a head start while I wait. I settle on a picture of her sitting on a chair wearing nothing but a lacey black thong. Her hands are on her breasts, legs spread wide open. Instinctively, I push my hand down the front of my pants and start rubbing. I zoom in and imagine how her skin would feel on my tongue. I trace the lines with my eyes and imagine how every inch of her would taste. I'm probably the only guy that feels this way, but I love that crease where the bottom of the ass cheek meets the leg. I salivate over the thought of feeling her skin on both sides of my tongue as I move along that crease. I imagine it getting warmer as I move inward.
A deep breath draws my attention and I look back and see she's already asleep. I quietly grab some lube out from my nightstand and squirt some on my hand before pushing it into my shorts. I close my eyes and imagine pulling her panties to the side, getting my first look. I waste no time getting to work. I love how she feels on my tongue. The heat, the softness, every little slippery fold makes me want more. I spread her wide exposing her clit. My mouth begins to water as I ...
The light flips on. "What's this?"
I drop my phone and turn back to see my wife looking sternly at me.
I grab a tissue and start wiping the lube off my hand. "Shit! Sorry, I thought you were asleep."
".. and so you thought I wouldn't care if you broke our agreement?"
"Wait, but you said ... I asked if you wanted to have sex and you said no." I explain in a panic.
