I tried hard not to think about Troy and the sex club over the next few weeks but somehow it was always there in the back of my mind. On several occasions I had almost dialed the dreaded phone number. He was such a huge presence in my life that it was difficult enough to go on without him. Now, this new information somehow altered my reality.
It was strange but I did not feel betrayed by him. I felt mostly helpless and I hated that feeling more than anything. I needed action. I thrived on it. I was never one to ask for help and always found my own way out of whatever trouble I'd gotten into. This was much different. There was no help for it and no way out of it. Just the big pink elephant in the room staring at me. A Sex Club. How does something like that work?
It's not surprising looking back at Troy's sexual proclivities. He was way too good at it to not have had lots of practice. The whole idea turned me on I was afraid to admit. I'm sure Troy recognized that in me. It was probably why we were so drawn to each other. It was almost magnetic. To think there are other people out there like that was quite shocking to me.
The key was sitting on my kitchen table and I couldn't help but wonder what door it might open. Did I want to open it? I was extremely sexually frustrated lately since I had no physical contact with anyone for the last three months. My imagination ran wild with thoughts of what this sex club was all about. It was always worse at night. During the day I could busy myself with mundane tasks but in the evening there was no hiding from it. I would often just give in to my fantasies but somehow Troy would always enter my mind.
Could I have sex with someone else? Maybe I would just have to close my eyes and pretend I was with him again. I didn't think that would really work since no one could make me feel like he did. I needed to be touched badly. I hadn't even gone a day without sex in the past. For someone like me this was pure torture. Along with the constant ache from the loss of Troy I was starting to worry about my sanity. I had to do something about it.
When I realized that Troy's job was really some sort of cover for a sex club I called Detective Brady right away. Considering the suspicious and scandalous nature of his murder I figured this new information would help the case. He was always so uncomfortable talking to me about any of it given the fact that Troy was found shot in a very upscale hotel after obviously having sex with someone. I didn't have the heart to tell the nice detective that I was pretty sure Troy was setting up a threesome for us since it was something we had talked about for weeks before this. He had left me messages at work telling me to call him because he had a surprise for me that night. It definitely burned to think of him with this other woman but the jealousy was dulled by the pain of losing him. It hurt too much to be angry at him and deep down I knew he was just waiting for me to join them.
I was too busy to answer my phone. Nothing like missing that last call before the man you love is gone forever. I'll have to live with that one somehow. I kept thinking what if I hadn't missed his calls? What if I was there that night? That way of thinking was just driving me crazy. I couldn't just sit here and wait for the detective to call me back. They had probably just stopped searching for his killer.
It was apparent there had been a fight of some kind although Troy had only defensive injuries and there was some unknown blood from a female. They believed it was just some high class prostitute and a fight had turned deadly. I knew there was no way Troy had to ever pay for sex or would in any way harm a woman but now I thought this sex club might hold the answer. Revenge and rage boiled in my gut. I had to find out who did this to him. I picked up my phone and dialed the number. After three rings someone picked up.
"Scorpio Security. " a woman's voice answered.
"H-Hi," I stammered not sure what I was going to say. I should have really thought this through more before I called. I glanced at the key on the kitchen table. "I have a key?" Great, now I sounded like an idiot.
"Good for you sweetie. How may I direct your call?" The voice sounded bored.
I started to panic and racked my brain for any information that might get me into this sex club. I recalled the night Troy took me to some party, the night he blindfolded me. A man opened the door and I could tell they knew one another. The stranger had dirty blonde hair and there was something about him that fascinated me. I really couldn't put my finger on exactly why but I couldn't help but stare at him.
He was waiting for Troy to say something and I remember Troy looked a bit annoyed that he wasn't just given entry since it was obvious they knew one another. Finally Troy said,"We're here to see Mr. Silver." The other man grinned as he opened the door wide for us to enter. He looked me up and down appraisingly and Troy didn't seem to mind. Now looking back, I realized maybe this Mr Silver was a code word of some kind and perhaps not a real person.
"I'm calling to speak with Mr Silver." I told the receptionist quickly before I changed my mind and hung up.
"Hold Please," Said the bored voice on the other end. The hold music was a horrible muzak version of the Beach Boys "God only Knows" Lovely. It went on forever before someone finally picked up. This time it was a male voice.
"Hello," a deep voice said. For some reason the knot of tension in my belly turned into nervous excitement.
His voice was sexy and it seemed to do things to me. God, I needed it bad. It couldn't be normal to have such a response from just a voice over the phone. "Hello? I can hear you breathing," he whispered with a trace of annoyance in his voice. That seemed to turn me on too.
"Hi," my voice was all husky now and I was a little embarrassed by it. Whoever this man was, I needed to meet him in person. I closed my eyes in order to try and control my reaction to him. "I'm calling about the sex club. I was given a key," I managed to get out even though my thoughts were overrun with a need for this mysterious stranger.
"Oh good, another one, " he seemed to mock me at least I thought he was. It was hard to tell if he was serious or joking. People like that usually rubbed me the wrong way .That's what it probably was I decided. He was just getting on my last nerve. That made much more sense.
"So, who gave you this so called key?" He asked.
Damn, I wasn't expecting that one." I was at a party. It could have been any of the guests really," I blurted out. " It was quite a wild night."
"Oh, A party girl. We could always use more of those, I'll text you the location and you can stop by at midnight this evening."
It wasn't a question. This guy was used to people doing what he told them to do. Again, I was annoyed and strangely attracted at the same time.
"So, Will there be an exam?" I really said stupid things when I was nervous.