The Healer

28 July

Mike

"Babe, please don't turn away from me. I've screwed up royally but I love you with all my heart. I'm begging you to forgive me. Could we please just talk? I'd give anything if you'd just talk to me. Please?!"

Deb reached back for my hand and grabbed it tightly. She said nothing but began crying, quietly at first but eventually it turned to full-blown sobbing. I took the fact that she was still holding on as a positive sign. After a good quarter hour of sobbing it started to abate and Deb looked up at me with these awful bloodshot eyes that seemed to be holding lots of pain.

"Mike, yes we can talk, but can we please go home?"

My heart leapt, all was not lost and there was hope I could cling to.

"Of course babe, just as soon as the hospital says we can go."

She nodded and her hand tightened on mine again and we sat in silence as she fell asleep. It was the best few hours of my life in a long time, even though I knew we had a long road ahead of us. Later on in the morning a doctor came in, introduced herself as the staff psychiatrist and asked me to step down the hall to a waiting area while she talked to Deb. On the surface I wasn't concerned but deep down inside there was a little hint of worry. Of course everybody gets nervous around head shrinks right? I wonder why that is? Do you suppose it's because we are all worried that we aren't normal and will be discovered? I wonder if shrinks get nervous around other shrinks? Ha!

About thirty minutes later a nurse told me to bring my car up to the pickup area because Deb was being released. I dashed to the car and was there well before they wheeled her out. The nurse mentioned they were sending her home in a hospital gown and handed me a bag with her clothes in it and then quietly noted that I might just want to dispose of them. I nodded and added my thanks as I got Deb settled in the car. As I reached across to buckle her seat belt she lightly touched my hand and I reached up and brushed her hair back over her ear.

"I do love you Mike."

"And I love you too my sweet."

We drove home in silence except for a brief stop at a drive-thru to pick up a couple of coffees. The sun was shining brightly as we pulled into the garage and I helped her into the house.

"I'll start a shower for you babe. I know you really feel yucky and want to clean up."

"Thanks Mike, that's awfully considerate of you."

While she was showering I busied myself with cleaning up the house a bit since we had both neglected it for quite some time. I was just finishing wiping the kitchen counters when Deb called from the shower.

"Mike? Could you come here please? I need some help."

She was still in the shower when I got to the bathroom and the sight of her naked wet body aroused me and made me feel guilty at the same time.

"Take off your clothes and get in with me. I need help with my back please."

Her voice was soft but shaky and it was obvious she was still crying. I felt ripped inside for the pain I'd caused her that was making her this upset. My clothes were quickly stripped off and within seconds I was standing facing her back. She handed the body wash and cloth over her shoulder as she pulled her hair to the side. My hands hesitated to touch her, mostly out of guilt, but I pushed past and squeezed some soap on her back and began to wash. Mother nature soon took over and I had a raging hard on. Testosterone flooded my system as I dropped into full-fledged sex mode.

Without warning Deb spun around, wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her head in my chest. Her wet breasts pressed into me and my cock pressed against her belly. But her body language was wrong and it was obvious this wasn't sex.

"Mike, I'm so sorry. I have to tell you something that I'm ashamed of and it's going to hurt you deeply."

Her tears increased and the testosterone flashed away instantly, along with my erection, as she unloaded what she'd done. My mind went into a daze as she emptied her heart and her conscience. In some ways I wished she'd left off some of the minute details because they just hurt and really didn't make a difference in the long run. You name the emotion and I felt it as I stood there under the water taking in her confession. An impulse to pull away came over me as anger took hold. I was just about to pull her arms away when I mentally flashed back to the hooker in my hotel and an intense sadness washed through me. I slumped into her and began to cry and told her what I'd done, but tried to spare her the unnecessary details.

Time passed as we stood under the hot shower baring our sins and our souls to each other. Eventually we both felt somewhat purged, maybe because of the symbolism of the cleansing water, and stepped out of the shower. The water getting cold might have moved things along as well. I lovingly dried her with a fluffy towel and wrapped her in a bathrobe. She returned the favor and we moved to the bed where we talked, cried, hugged, and asked forgiveness of each other for the rest of the morning. Eventually our stomachs let us know how long they had been ignored and we moved to the kitchen for some lunch. There wasn't much to eat but it was the best meal we'd both had for a long time and while we munched she told me about James Guerisseur and the program. At first I was skeptical but the more she told me about it the more it made sense.

"You know he told me that it really was critical to have you involved in the process and he really didn't want to proceed if you weren't."

"So what did you tell him?"

"I just said that you were gone on an extended trip and that you'd come once you got back."

"But you really weren't going to do that?"

"No. And I know that you are going to ask me why. Truthfully I was hoping to fix it all myself and then things would be good. But now I see that it's going to take the two of us working together to make this work."

"You're one hundred percent right on that Deb. I feel closer to you now than I have in a long time. I just don't know where to begin."

"Mike, one of the things that I've discovered so far is that we are uncomfortable sharing our feelings and desires, especially when it comes to sex. In fact just making the statement makes me feel uneasy. Do you agree or am I way off base?"

Just her mention of the topic made me cringe a little on the inside. I shrugged my shoulders like a six-year old and kicked at some invisible item on the floor.

"See what I mean Mike? We have to be able to talk about this sort of thing without getting tied in knots. We are husband and wife after all and that's what people in healthy relationships do."

She was right of course and I felt really humiliated that I had difficulty expressing my sexual desires. After all, men were supposed to be crass and uncouth about that sort of thing. Maybe I just respected Deb too much to impose my sexual appetites on her? Or maybe I thought she was above those sorts of things and they would degrade her? In any case it was obvious that we needed help from a professional.

"Yeah babe. It does make me uncomfortable but I don't want to feel that way. So let's go see your guy. When can we do that?"

"That makes me so happy Mike. I'll get in touch with him tomorrow. But right now I'm exhausted so could we go to bed please?"

I had to admit that I was wiped as well and quickly agreed. She took my hand and led me to the bedroom, removed my robe and then hers and pulled me into bed beside her.

"Mike, I love you. Can we just please sleep wrapped in each other? I just need to feel you next to me."

I smiled, gave her a peck on the forehead, pulled her in close and we were both sound asleep within minutes. My dreams for the most part were ones of contentment but I do remember one set that drifted off into mind movies of her having sex with those other men. I should have been enraged, but my dream emotions were ones of excitement as I watched her in the throes of passion with shadowy men, whose faces I could not see. I could see her bending over and lifting her dress so that they could take her from behind. I saw her pushing back hard against them, willing their cocks deeper into her pussy, which I could also see was dripping with juice. My dream saw her on her knees, unzipping nondescript pants and pulling out a huge cock and cradling it in her hands. She admired it and then took it into her mouth and then into her throat, gagging as she did. It all ended as she jerked the cock off into her mouth and swallowed all the cum, of which there was an impressive volume. And through it all my cock in my dream was hard and being stimulated with something soft and familiar. My subconscious orgasm built very slowly as I watched the movie play. Honestly it was better than real sex, and guys who've had this sort of dream will know what I mean.

28 July

Deb

My exhaustion had dropped me into a deep sleep within moments, which was aided by how safe I felt with Mike. I wasn't sure how long I been asleep but I began to wake a little, bit by bit. We were on our sides and he was close with his arms lightly around me. Then as I became more aware I realized his cock was hard and poking between my legs but I could tell by his breathing he was fast asleep. It definitely felt good and Mike was the perfect size for me. I slowly and carefully shifted so that his penis moved into place along my pussy lips. I rocked my hips back and forth oh so very slowly and gently, working hard not to awaken Mike. My juices began to flow and I could feel his cock getting slippery which made it feel even better against my labia. The tension was getting palpable and there was definitely the beginnings of a ramp up towards orgasm. With just a little more maneuvering I positioned myself so that the head of his cock was lightly rubbing my clit as I rocked back and forth and it simply felt amazing. More than anything I didn't want to wake Mike. Not because I'd be embarrassed. No wait, that's not true. I think I would have been embarrassed just because that's part of what we've struggled with, being open about our needs, desires, and sexuality. But at the moment Mike was making little sex sounds in his sleep and I found the whole thing to be very erotic. In a way I was being the girl of his dreams. Lol!

Very slowly my orgasm built and it took superhuman discipline not to speed up or make any sounds. Okay, so I made some sounds but they were very muted, mainly because I buried my face in my pillow. Mike's cock grew harder which made it push harder against my clit which made it harder. My senses were getting lost in all of this as all my concentration focused on my clit and his cock sliding over it. Things were still building when Mike's hand moved to my breast and his fingers rested on my erect nipple. And yes, he was still asleep, because it moved there almost hypnotically in his dream-state. This extra contact to my nipple pushed me up on a wave of orgasm but this one was different. Instead of peaking and subsiding it just went to a middle level and remained constant. Sort of like a surfer riding a long ways on the front of a wave. Any concept of time was lost as I rode this orgasm for longer than I had in my whole life. All I can say is that it was a mind-blowing experience and pussy juice was making little spurting sounds in time with my movements.

This ride was building to the point of almost being tantric and it might have gone on a lot longer had it not been for Mike's hand that pinched my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Looking back it was different from the way he normally did it so again I was sure he did it in his sleep. But what he did do was pinch it really hard and not let up, which sent an electric jolt to the pleasure part of my brain and then on to my pussy. The end result was an explosive orgasm, partly from the pain and partly from my attempts to be quiet and not wake him. As I flew over the crest of the wave I felt myself getting wetter and heard Mike making a sleep grunting noise. Mike was ejaculating in his sleep and a few jets shot out from between my legs. I happened to see at least two and I giggled a little because it looked like I was shooting out cum. My orgasm subsided but Mike was still cumming so I rocked a few more times until he stopped. His grasp on my nipple relaxed and I found myself being somewhat sad about that, but there was this afterglow that infused me which made up the difference. I became aware of a wet spot on the bed beneath my hip. Maybe spot wasn't the right description and lake was more like the right word. My thighs were also soaked with my wetness and as I adjusted slightly, the stickiness of gobs of semen added to the sensation. And no it wasn't disgusting and in fact it felt really good which was new since in the past I would normally run to the bathroom to clean up. Mike was still breathing deeply and I was so sated and relaxed that sleep overtook me again.

We must've not been asleep much longer because when we started stirring everything was still wet. I could tell that Mike was stirring because of his breathing and body movements. Then he started stroking my hair as he spoke.

"Good morning, or good afternoon. Or is it evening babe? I have no clue."

He laughed as he said it and it so warmed my heart. Mike hadn't laughed much in recent years and this was music to my ears.

"I guess I really don't care. I'm just happy to be home and with you. How did you sleep?"

"Well I had this sort of sex dream but it seemed so real..."

His voice trailed off for a moment as I felt his hand move down towards our waists.

"Oh man! I'm so embarrassed! I, I think I had a wet dream. Oh I'm sorry babe."

"Mike, please don't be embarrassed. I sorta' made you do it."

"Um, made me do it? What do you mean?"

For the next few minutes I detailed what had happened and honestly felt very uncomfortable recounting things. It didn't help that I picked up on some discomfort from Mike as well. We laid quietly, snuggled together for a few minutes and finally Mike broke the silence with a nervous cough.

"Well babe, my dream was amazing and the stuff that went along with it was too. And I know that talking about something we like shouldn't make us uncomfortable and I don't want to be that way anymore. So when can we see your therapist guy, or whatever he's called?"

2 Aug

Mike

My hands didn't seem to know where they'd be most comfortable as I sat next to Deb in James Guerisseur's office. At first I tried them in my lap but then decided I looked like a woman sitting in a short skirt. I crossed my legs and interlocked my fingers around the front of my knee and decided that was just plain uncomfortable. I locked my fingers behind my head and that just felt stupid. Then I crossed my arms in front of me until I remembered what that body language meant. My anxiety level was increasing and so I just clamped onto the arms of the chair. Deb looked at me and smiled and pried one hand off the rest and held it in hers. My pulse slowed as did my breathing as I felt the tension being absorbed by Deb's caress. The fact that she noticed was endearing to me and I remembered all over again the reason why I'd fallen in love with her. There was a familiar movement in my nether regions and I had to reach down and readjust slightly. Deb was making me horny, a fact which was not lost on her because she glanced at my action and smiled again. God that smile! At that moment I wanted to rip her clothes off and fuck her on the desk. But James walked in before I could do that. Okay, you're right, I really wouldn't have had the guts to do that, but I wished I had the guts. Little did I know that not too far down the road that was going to change and in a very big way.

"Hello Deb, nice to see you again. And hello Mike, it's nice to finally meet you."

"Um you too Mr. Guerisseur."

He reached out to shake my hand. It was a decent guy handshake which surprised me a bit. I guess I figured with him being a counselor and all that it would be a little weak.

"Oh please, no need to be so formal. Call me James. The work we will be doing will be very intimate so formalities seem just a little silly. Wouldn't you agree Deb?"

I think his question caught her off-guard. She stammered, and then just nodded. What I really noticed was that she blushed, which I thought was an unusual reaction considering the simplicity of the question.

"So Mike, has Deb told you about the program and what we do here?"

"She's told me some things Mr. G..., I mean James, but I think I'd like to hear it from you as well."

James nodded and talked for about twenty minutes, covering many of the things that Deb had already told me. And it wasn't that I didn't believe her, I just wanted to hear about it from him to make sure he wasn't some sort of crackpot or scammer. The longer he talked the more my confidence grew that he would be able to help our marriage. He ended by asking if I had any questions and my first one made me very uncomfortable, but I had to ask.

"Yes I guess I do. Um, so, uh, does this mean you or someone else will be uh sort of making out with Deb?"

"That's an excellent question Mike, and certainly one that most couples have concerns about. Let me first state that it's really good that you have that concern. It shows that you care about your wife and are bonded with her. If you didn't care who she was with it would show that you really didn't have a good baseline relationship. But to answer your question, yes, if the needs of the individual require the services of a sex surrogate then that is certainly part of the program. I will add that in cases of married couples we ask that the husband and wife both agree on the proposed surrogate. It gives them a sense of control and allows them to work together as a couple. I may be one of the proposed surrogates or it may be any of a handful of qualified people from our organization. And understand that in many cases we have female counselors that work with women clients and males who work with the men."

"Um, well I'm not gay so I wouldn't be cool with that."

James smiled and chuckled good-naturedly.

"Don't worry Mike. What we do has much more depth to it than what you realize. Often times a man will open up to a male counselor about things that he would never talk to his wife about. And the same applies to women."

"Oh, ok. That makes sense. I didn't mean to sound homophobic or anything like that. I mean, what two people do is their call and uh, now I'm just making a fool of myself aren't I?"

"It's okay Mike. This is new territory for you and I know the both of you are uncomfortable talking about sex and sexuality. I'm totally confident we can get you and Deb to where you want to be."

"That's part of the problem James. I don't think either of us knows where we want to be."

"It's good then that you recognize that Mike and it's our job to help you discover that and get you there. Were there any other questions?"

"Just one more I guess. How long will all of this take? The program I mean."

"Every person and couple is different. Some have reached their goals in a few months where others take years. Sometimes people even want to go further and explore other areas but usually in those cases we just give them the tools they need and they take it from there. For the two of you we need to do some more evaluation since Deb is further along but we are just starting with you. To that point we haven't even formulated much from what we've done with you Deb. There's still a lot of testing and talking that we need to accomplish."

"I still can't believe this isn't going to cost us anything. It seems like there is a ton of expense involved in all of this."

"Yes it's truly a great organization and a number of very wealthy clients provided some very generous endowments. Plus we have financial people who are wizards at making great investments. And of course many of our clients are so grateful that they make donations of their own, but it's by no means expected. Have I answered all of your questions? That goes for you as well Deb."