"Dee, I want you to be my WIFE."
Her eyes became hooded and implacable, as her voice lowered and hardened.
"I have to be so much more."
He raised his eyes to look at her one last time. He knew now that there was no turning back. How could he have gotten it so wrong? Where had it gone so wrong? But it had. Slowly but resolutely he turned and left.
********
Deanna had fully expected that Jared would come crawling back to her. They had been through and meant so much to each other. She readily acknowledged that she had lost her temper, during what should have been the happiest event of her life. She also had to admit that she had been somewhat cavalier about his concerns and feelings at that moment. Of course, she emphatically thought to herself, he was going to be her husband and she his wife, life partners sharing and forging a life together with all the caring and intimacy which that joyously entailed. But he had to have realized that she needed him in a very real sense to be her slave as well. It had been he after all who had started them down this path, who had planted the seed within her, and they both had nurtured it as it had grown and flowered. It was now a vital part of her, who she was, and what she wanted to continue to develop and be. And she had always believed that he wanted and needed this as well, and that he would always be there for her, to serve and play his part, just as she would play hers for him. It would be the perfect meshing of their inner selves. Maybe she had over stressed that aspect a bit too much, but that was part of the dynamic, wasn't it? And when he had flatly rejected it she had lost it at that moment. She would make sure, when he returned, that he understood all of this, and that she would always be there for him and would never abuse his trust, and the gift of himself that he was offering up to her.
But Jared never did return, never even called, to her shock and consternation. He had left her high and dry, without any opportunity to explain, to make it all come out right. She remained in a daze feeling betrayed for weeks before slowly coming out of it, with a determination and an even greater craving to dominate and be in control. To never again be in a position of vulnerability to be hurt and deceived. She vowed to herself that she would always be fair, but from this point on all direction and choices would be hers, and hers alone. How and in what fashion to achieve this became her overriding passion.
So after this period of time she was finally able to submerge her bitterness and wall it off within. She returned to the Web and began actively engaging in a wide variety of D/s blogs and femdom chat rooms. She developed and evolved her persona, Lady D, who soon became a well known and appreciated contributor to these sites. For the most part she kept her interactions in these postings impersonal, merely exploring and commenting extensively on the D/s lifestyle and orientation in general, but never revealing any private information about herself.
There was one blog though that she was increasingly drawn to, and had actually been following even before her breakup. It was written by a college professor who several times a week would write about his ongoing and increasingly lonely struggles with being a secret submissive, and his inability to act upon these urges and desires while being in his position as a well regarded and respected academic in a small insular university town. He would write in the most creative and seductive ways about his fantasies on how he would serve and be used by The Woman who would care enough to own him. While these were acknowledged fantasies, they were grounded enough in reality that one could easily imagine them truly being lived as such, and Lady D thoroughly enjoyed reading and commenting upon them, even as the blogger would always readily and dejectedly admit that he did not have the courage or the strength to expose and reveal himself so.
There came a time though when he announced on his blog that he had reached the mandatory retirement age at his university, and that he was planning to move away to a bigger, more anonymous city environment where he hoped that he could finally dare to experience what he considered his real self, in real life.
Over the next several months he detailed on his blog his at first tentative, then more resolute but increasingly disappointing forays into the D/s world, from multiple visits to a variety of S&M clubs, to unfulfilling sessions with Pro Dommes, to a few ultimately failed encounters that resulted from personals he had placed on the web and in the local alternative media. He readily admitted that being a 'mature' sub, and a real life novice as well despite his extensive blog ruminations over the years, did not make him prime submissive stock for any prospective Domme, and this was proving to be the case. It was beginning to appear to him that the time for such a life for him had likely passed him by.
Deanna became increasingly sympathetic to his plight, and often commented and even offered advice as Lady D to him on his blog. As his dejection and rejections became more apparent she took a leap, and using the email address listed on his blog profile she sent him a private post. He immediately responded in sincere appreciation and they began corresponding frequently. They began to discuss all manner of topics, many not lifestyle related at all, and she came to enjoy these cyber interactions immensely. Finally, after a time, she decided to take another leap when after discovering that they actually lived in the same city she proposed that they actually meet. Heart in his throat he readily accepted, and so one Saturday evening in a small out of the way wine bar, Edward and Deanna met face to face.
They spent the greater part of this first encounter getting to know better the real person from behind the keyboard. Deanna found Edward to be every bit as authentic and sincere, engaging and intelligent as she had imagined from his blog and emails. She felt a quickly developing rapport with him, not in any romantic or sexual way, but as someone she could relate and connect with despite his being almost twice her age. As the night pressed on she chanced one more leap and asked him that if given the opportunity, what small enticement might he offer so that she might ever consider meeting with him again.
For the first time of the evening this charming, seemingly self assured and distinguished older gentleman appeared unsettled and uncertain. After several long moments of hesitation he lowered his eyes and quietly answered that if she had any errands she needed done, or tasks around or in her home ... shopping, cleaning, straightening up ... anything at all, he would consider it an honor to be allowed to do those for her. When she then asked what he might anticipate in return he replied that the privilege alone to so assist her in any way would be more than he would deserve. Another moment of indecision, and then a gamble of his own as he continued on by saying that if she found all of any such efforts to be impeccably performed she might allow him to express his gratitude by granting him the further honor and privilege of kissing her foot before he departed.
Deanna was beguiled by the humility of his offer and the austerity of what he might desire in return. This was not a suggestion for some elaborate scenario or exotic session as she might have expected, but rather a simple offer to serve. Perhaps, she concluded, it was time for her to stop just being a cyber voyeur and get back into the real game. She took her final and longest leap of the day. Taking a pen out she wrote her address on the paper cocktail napkin in front of her and passed it over to him. "Be there at nine tomorrow morning," she ordered, "and expect to work the whole day." she finished.
Edward took the napkin, raised his eyes, which for the first time in such a very long while were glistening with moisture, and replied, "I'll be there ... My Lady."
She simply nodded in return.
The next morning, precisely at nine, he arrived at her apartment and spent the entire day sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, polishing, washing and putting away dishes ... even doing whatever laundry she needed done, then sorting, ironing and folding it all when it was finished. His performance in all of these duties was indeed impeccable, and she did grant him the privilege of expressing his gratitude to her foot before he left. As she commanded upon his departure he returned the next weekend to perform similar services, and for the following few weekends as well. Soon he was coming several times a week, and it wasn't long after that, as she became more comfortable with the situation and with him, that Edward became her full time domestic, and Lady D had her first personal slave.
While she rapidly found his assumption of virtually all of her household chores to be deliciously delightful, she discovered that her frequent and lengthy conversations with him to be even more enjoyable and valuable. Though she was well on her way to completing her second romantic novel, she had as yet been unable to find a publisher for her first. As a former Professor of English Literature he humbly offered to read her first work, and then with her further permission to edit it. When he was done she had to readily admit that he had greatly tightened and strengthened the story without in any way altering her tone, voice or style.
Of even more eventual importance to her in this regard was a person Edward had met on one of his early unsuccessful sojourns to one of the more extreme S&M clubs. As a completely inexperienced submissive neophyte at the time he had opted to remain solely as an observer that particular evening, trying to remain as unobtrusive as possible in the shadows in the back of the club. His attention had been increasingly drawn to a forty-ish year old man attempting to ingratiate himself with a trio of younger Dommes who were sitting in an out of the way back corner table. It was one Domme in particular, who appeared clearly the leader of the three, that he seemed to be trying the hardest to curry favor.
The sub spent much of the night hopping up to fetch the three women multiple drinks, all of which he apparently paid for. Much of the rest of the time he spent on his knees by the side of the table awaiting any other tasks they might have for him. Most of this time the three ignored him but at one point the lead Domme looked down at him and said that her friend needed her boots cleaned. One of the other women then lifted her foot off the ground slightly and agreed that her boots were filthy. "Get to it" the lead Domme ordered and the sub immediately bent his body down under the table and began licking the ankle high boots clean, while the women all went back to their conversation completely ignoring him again as he worked.
