He knows he cannot choose between her and his wife, they are so different and there are so many things to be adored in both. The right thing to do is to let this wonderful woman go so she can find someone to give her everything she deserves, at the same time, he cannot picture his life without her. He turns facing her and takes her in much the same way she did him. He watches her sleep and memorizes the way her blonde hair falls over her shoulder and into her face, the softness of her skin and the smell of her hair. He presses his lips to her forehead and closes his eyes picturing how blue her eyes are and how her beautiful smile made his day when things seemed so dark for him. She helped him through some very dark moments in his life and for that he is grateful. He runs his hands over her, committing to memory her curves and how she feels in his arms. He whispers his own confessions to her as he drifts off to sleep holding her tight.
Morning comes too quickly and she finds herself wrapped tight in her Captain's arms. She pauses there a moment to savor that and lock that feeling in her heart. She shifts slightly and he turns in bed with his back to her. She rises from the bed and considers her next move. She can dress and slip out the door and head home or she can stay and they can have some last moments. She walks quietly to the bathroom so she can think for a moment. She stands at the sink looking in the mirror at herself and her life. Her head drops and she begins to cry. Finding her clothes from last night, she dresses and finds him still asleep and cuddled to her pillow. She picks up his shirt smelling it and tears cascade down her cheeks. Great sadness and great loss fracture her already broken heart more. Grabbing her bag, she makes it to the door and slips out undetected. She is in her car and headed away from their sanctuary before she changes her mind and turns back. The only thing that will heal her is time and space. She must never meet with him again and she knows this now. She will remain his friend and text with him but she will make sure she is very busy from now on.
He wakes to find her gone, her bag is missing and her car is gone as well. Grief overwhelms him and he knows he has lost someone more than special to him. Tears well up in his eyes and he grieves the loss of her in his arms. He isn't even sure if he will ever hear from her again. He finds his phone and texts her, "Please don't run from me. I want you in my life. I realize I have been selfish and I have probably broken your heart. I am so sorry. I don't want to be without you in my life in some way. I care for you more than you know. Please." He pleads with her and sends the text before he can add too much. He waits for a few minutes and gets no response so he heads for the shower and gets ready for the day. He must head home and he's not sure he is ready or that he wants to leave here and leave these memories. He picks up her pillow and smells it one more time then lays it back down, showers and leaves the cottage heading home.
She got his text and read it but her emotions are too raw to answer. She will answer when she stops for gas in a couple of hours, by then she will need to eat and she might have cleared her head more. Until then, she will drive with the radio turned up and cry until she cannot cry any longer. Her brain on autopilot, she just drives. Her thoughts go back to when they met and how he was a supportive friend when she needed that. She remembers the moment it changed and knows that it must go back to that. A plan begins to form in her head where she will be distant and only text now and then. Her heart breaks and tears flow down her cheeks, she knew falling for a married man was wrong but she did it anyway. He is a great man despite this affair. She will eliminate herself from the situation and he can concentrate on what he really wants.
She hears her gas gauge warning and realizes that she has come further than she thought. The sign for the next exit is ahead and luckily it has a gas station and a fast food place. She fills her car up and gets a meal to go. She gets back in her car and looks at the phone, several messages are there from him, all pleading for her to talk to him and that he cares for her. Dropping the phone in her lap, she contemplates what she wants to say. Mindlessly eating her fries, a reply forms in her head. Picking up her phone she begins to type, "I realize that you say you care. I have come to the point that I need more in my life than you can give. You have a wife and a child and I will not ever ask you to choose as I know I would lose. In fact, I think I would expect you to do the right thing and choose them. I know you love her and are hoping to work things out. Us doing what we are is not helping with what is going on in your head. I can see how torn you are at times. Therefore, I can no longer meet you like we have been. If you need to chat and need a friend, I am here and always will be. I care for you more than you know as well. I just can't go on like this any longer. It is killing me." She sobs hard sitting in her car knowing that this Is the right thing to do but the hardest decision she's made in a long time. "Please forgive me," she types out as the last sentence and sends it before she can chicken out. Not waiting for a reply, she starts her car and continues her journey towards home, hoping that she will heal in time.
His phone beeps with a message. Reading it he knows he has lost the woman he really wanted. If he could just find her, he could talk to her, convince her that he just needs a little time. Tears threaten to fall from his eyes but he fights them and holds them back. Unbeknownst to him, he stops at the same gas station as she does and wonders how he can get her back into his life. He has a light bulb moment and decides right then and there that he will do as she asks but he will work on moving forward with plans he had already set in place and show her that he wasn't just playing with her. More determined than ever, he picks up his phone and texts her back, "I will do as you have asked. We will be friends and chat. Know this though, my intentions are different than what you realize, we didn't get a chance to talk because you ran away from me. I will show you." He put his phone in the seat next to him and sets out toward home. He has a lot of hard work and hard decisions ahead of him. He knows that if he really loved his wife, he wouldn't even think about anything with someone else. It has taken a long time for him to realize that too. His intentions toward her in the beginning were to have some fun and to combat the loneliness and heartache that the affair his wife was having left behind. In the process, he found that he truly cared for this woman. He hates that she is no doubt heartbroken at this moment. He is too. He is confident they will be reunited one day soon.
She makes her way home and walks in the door and is greeted by her cat, Princess. She scratches Princess on the ears and speaks gently to her. The cat walks through her legs and purrs gratefully. She goes to the cupboard and gets her a catnip treat and hands it to her. Princess takes it greedily and hides in her room to enjoy the treat. She tidies up the house and does her laundry. Trying to keep busy becomes a challenge but she manages well and her house is cleaner than it ever has been. She knows there is a message on her phone waiting for her to read but she has been trying to avoid it. No longer able to do so, she picks it up and sees what he has written. More tears form but she has no doubt that he is just trying to no shake up his life any more than it already is. There are so many tings that she doesn't know about him that he keeps hidden. Things she should have known before this affair started.
That was her mistake but she has taken over and now knows she can no longer live with lies and secrets. She knows that the road to healing is a long and hard one but one she is willing to navigate. If she wants a healthy relationship, she knows she must be healthy as well. Slipping into the shower and washing the remnants of what was between them off, she sobs once again for the loss. She knows that she will remain his friend but will never meet him again. In fact, she will avoid anywhere he could possibly show up, at least for the foreseeable future. She's been burned before but this time she is devastated and is not going to get into another relationship for a long time, if ever. She exits the shower, puts on her pj's and climbs into her bed and pulls the covers up to her chin. Work will distract her, in fact, two jobs might be even better. She quickly falls asleep even though her heart breaks. She has no choice but to move forward with her life and leave this affair behind. She dreams of the beach and crashing waves and warmth on her skin, sunsets and making love.
He makes it home to his wife and she seems glad to see him. She is preparing for the trip he had planned to the Caribbean. He had meant to tell his lover about it so she wouldn't worry about not hearing from him but never got a chance, he pulls out his phone and starts to text her but realizes that he must not. He will desperately miss her, especially the friendship they have. He knows they have crossed a line they most likely shouldn't have but he regrets nothing. He should he knows but he doesn't. He hopes she feels the same and it troubles him to think she might regret things between them. He knows he kept too many secrets and she never pushed him to tell them. He was always grateful but now he feels like an ass. The things he kept from her were things that seem insignificant at this point. She never made a move to damage his life. In fact, she has quietly slipped away from him and he thinks that has probably hurt more than if she confronted him before she left. He wishes he had just got to make love to her one more time. Shaking his thoughts of his lover out of his mind, he finds his wife staring at him curiously.
