The Awaening of Angel

22 June 5:30 AM

Circe

Alexandra was waiting at the door when I got home. At the time I didn't think it was strange that she knew when I was arriving, let alone at five thirty in the morning. Much later I realized that Tillman was in constant communication with everyone on his team, no matter how large or how small. I tried to storm past Alexandra. I say tried because the corset kept me from doing anything quickly. Man I hated the thing. It hurt and made even the simplest of things into massive chores. So I angrily baby-stepped past her and went to my room with her following silently close behind. If she wouldn't have been there I would have slammed the door to my room.

"May I help you with anything Miss Circe?"

"Angel! Angel! Angel! My name is Angel! Why won't you call me that!?" My rage and frustration was boiling over. What was the point of all of this? Why was Tillman doing this? All these strange things seemed so pointless.

"I'm sorry Miss. Those were Mr. Tillman's instructions. I will lose my job if I don't comply."

"Well damn Tillman and damn his shitty rules! Fuck him!" My anger was getting out of control and then I remembered what had happened the last time and I decided to get myself back in check. I couldn't take deep breaths so I just did my best to slow it down and return to an even keel. Alexandra just stood there with a look of compassion on her face, mixed with a little hurt.

'I'm sorry Alexandra. I'm being a bitch. Would you please help me out of this gown and get this damned torture corset off me?

Alexandra reached out and undid the gown letting it fall to the floor and it was at that moment I remembered the horsetail. I grabbed for the gown but it was too late.

A little giggle escaped from Alexandra as she saw the tail extending from my butt. "It looks like someone had a good time last night."

I spun around to give her a piece of my mind but the tail followed and wrapped around slapping me in the front. I was just about to let loose when the tail did that and I realized just how silly it must have all looked. I burst out in hysterical laughter, the stress of the evening rolling off in waves and soon Alexandra was laughing right along with me.

"Well let's get that corset off and it will make it easier to de-horse you," said Alexandra. This resulted in more raucous laughter even though the corset made laughing a challenge. She deftly undid the laces and I was able to take a deep breath. Who would have known that taking a deep breath could feel so good.

"Miss, please lay down on the bed on your side and facing away from me." To which I complied. "Now keep your lower leg straight and raise your other knee up to your chest. Good. Now take some deep breaths and relax." The horsetail slid out, and not too painfully I might add. "Now let's get you into a bath."

As I soaked in the tub all the memories of the past few weeks came flooding to mind. Alexandra had been busying herself with picking up and then re-entered the bathroom."

"Alexandra?"

"Yes Miss?"

"Can I ask you some questions?"

"Yes you may Miss, but I may not be able, or allowed, to answer some of them."

"Do you personally know Mr. Tillman?"

"Yes I do."

"How long have you known him?"

"Many years Miss."

"Is he crazy or a murderer?"

Alexandra let out a snort of laughter. "Oh no Miss! Far from it."

"Well then, what's he about? What's his story?"

"That I can't say Miss."

I was getting frustrated again and the tears were welling up in my eyes. "But, but where is all this going? I'm so confused and he is so distant. Should I quit? What should I do? Am I wasting time on a madman? What about the numbing and sensitizing oils? What was that all about? Is he just some sick twisted rich-guy pervert?"

"Miss, let's get you out of that tub." I stepped out and stood while she dried me off and wrapped me in my fluffy pink bath robe. The fabric rubbed across my nipples which were still very sensitive. I started to cry again and Alexandra laid me down on the bed and crawled in next to me. Turning towards me she started stroking my hair as I blubbered. The last thing I heard as I fell asleep was, "Tillman helped me, more than he will ever know. And he will help you too if you give in and let him." I drifted off to sleep dreaming of Lords and Ladies dancing gracefully to a minuet.

22 June 0620

Tillman

Masked shadowy men entered the room preceded by flash-bang grenades. I was momentarily stunned and blinded and in that short instant I was crumpled to the floor by a blow to the back of my head. As I came back into consciousness I first heard, and then saw Angel, kicking against her attackers. Desperately I tried to move but couldn't and I looked on helplessly as Angel was dragged from the room.

The fog of my unconsciousness started to lift and I sensed that I was sweaty. Shit! Not another nightmare! Ugh! I buried my head under my pillow and willed myself back to sleep. I needed to sleep.

24 June 9:15 AM

Circe

I awoke, well-rested and stretched the sleep away with a quiet yawn. "Miss, I've prepared a light brunch for you whenever you are ready," Alexandra called from the kitchen. How did she do that? How did she always know the instant I woke up? I got up and dressed and headed to the kitchen.

"Good morning Miss. I hope you slept well?"

"Ummm," I half mumbled through the coffee and bite of toast with butter an marmalade.

"Well in any case, we have received word that Mr. Tillman sends his regrets. He stated that he was going to be gone for some time and that your training progress would be delayed. You are still to abide by the contract while he is away and the financial arrangements will continue as will my services. He also stated that you are free to get in contact with friends and family and use the internet and watch TV. He did strongly suggest that you not divulge anything about your training."

My heart sank. "Where did he go?"

"He didn't say Miss."

"Well then when will he be back? Days, weeks, months?"

"I don't know Miss. Maybe weeks or months." Quietly under her breath she added, "Or maybe never."

"Never? What do you mean never? You mean that he might be dumping me?'

Alexandra looked at me with these deep sorrowful eyes. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

"You mean he's on a mission and he might, might get ki..." The rest of the sentence would not pass my lips. I threw myself into Alexandra's arms and cried my heart out. And strangely enough, she cried too.

30 June

Circe

Tillman had been gone for a week and to top it off I was getting all the signs of starting my period. I guess it was good timing with Tillman being gone since I don't know how I would have handled some of the "events" if I had been bleeding. Then I remembered that he had asked early on about my cycles. That sly dog! He was working all of this around my schedule. That's what I thought anyway.

I hadn't slept well since hearing of Tillman being on a mission. It's strange how quickly I'd connected with him since we really hadn't had any intimate moments besides a kiss. Now you might bring up the fact that I've been naked in front of him but those weren't intimate. Somehow they just seemed clinical to me. But when he looked into my eyes, now that was intimate! When he did that it literally made me weak in the knees, and up until now a man had never effected me that way.

Tillman really was a sweet and sour dish. He made me really hot but he also angered me. I had made a number of advances all of which were rebuffed and believe me, that sort of thing never happened to me. Guys were easy pickings for me and I could get them to do whatever I wanted. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a cold-hearted praying mantis that uses guys. Far from it. I'm just saying that if I wanted a particular guy to make love to me, it was no great feat to make it happen. I know all the buttons to push with guys. But Tillman, he didn't rise to the bait and I had no clue as to what his buttons were.

To make matters worse, I saw that Alexandra had cleaned up the horsetail and it was laying there on my dresser. It brought back to mind that moment in the dungeon when I wiggled my ass and horsetail at him and all but begged him to enter me. But nothing happened. The man was frustrating, but I wanted him so badly. How I wanted him was a different question to which I didn't know the answer. Did I want him for his smokin' hot body? Did I want him to be my protector? Did I want him mentally or emotionally? I did know one thing I wanted, and that was that I wanted him back safe and sound from whatever hell-hole he was in.

"Alexandra?"

"Yes Miss?"

"If I were to write a letter to Teacher how long would it take to get to him?"

"It would never get there Miss."

"Well why not?"

"Because where he normally is quite frequently turns out to have no mail service. And even if they did it would not be forwarded due to OPSEC."

"OPSEC?"

OPerational SECurity Miss. It's supposed to keep the bad guys in the dark. It's actually for their own protection."

"Okay then what about e-mail?"

Alexandra shook her head in a no.

"Sat Phone, Text? Facebook? Skype?

Again all negative responses from Alexandra.

"Well then how the hell am I supposed to know he's okay and when he's coming back?"

Alexandra looked at me with the most compassionate eyes and said, "When he tells us he's finished and on his way back."

Once again the ton of bricks was dropped on me. He might even be dead right now. My whole world became turmoil and I sensed I was losing it.

8 July 0445

Tillman

It had been a shit mission where too many things went wrong. And the main fault lay with those above me who got involved in things they didn't understand. When I was allowed to plan things 100% the missions all went much smoother with very little wear and tear to my teams and myself. If you want to read about one that was a real cluster-fuck go check out Operation Eagle Claw. Of course none of these people intended to get out folks killed, but honestly good intentions do get people killed sometimes.

My team had been tasked to covertly enter a country unfriendly to ours and either snatch or neutralize a particular individual and we were successful in our mission. It got hairy coming out and one of my team took a 7.62 round in the arm (not debilitating) and I got wounded in the shoulder by a knife, again not life-threatening. I will not say any more than that about the mission.

Some folks seem to think that the military is all action all the time, but in reality it's a lot of what we call "Hurry up and wait." The sentiment just expresses the truth that the military is about 99% training/boredom and 1% combat action.

Another thing you might be curious about is did I think about home and Angel while I was gone. The harsh answer is no. But before you go on a rant and call me a callous pig, or whatever your favorite epithet is, please let me explain. When you deploy your team becomes your family and your world. It's like those science fiction shows where someone steps through a portal and ends up on a completely different planet and they find out that they have travelled far into the future and everyone back home is long gone.

You see it has to be that way. Your team has to become your family because you are watching their six and they are watching yours. You can't afford distractions and home equals distractions and distractions get you killed. Just a millisecond delay in pulling the trigger and you're dead. Just like that. One second you are talking to a guy and the next he's crumpled on the ground with blood coming out of his mouth. So you want to minimize the risk downrange and one way to do that it to block out the "real world." And you really don't allow yourself to think about home until the landing gear have retracted and the crew announce you have crossed the border into friendly territory. The there is a collective sigh of relief and sometimes cheering amongst the young pups. The old-timers are more reserved knowing that in all probability they will be coming back into that hell-hole again.

Now let me tell you a little secret. In all likelihood your significant other will lie to you when they get home. The conversation goes like this:

"Oh honey! I missed you so much. Did you miss me?"

"Oh of course babe, I really missed you." (Probably true in a minor degree)

"Did you think about me every hour of every day?"

"Oh you know it babe, every hour of the day." (Big fat lie)

Now before you take all this personally listen to what I'm going to say. If he or she thinks about you every hour of every day they may come home alright, but it will be in a cargo plane draped in an American flag. Do you want that? No of course not. But they are lying to you to spare your feelings because they know you possibly couldn't understand. You are at home going about your daily routines which gives you lots of time to think about them. But they are on high alert 24/7 and just honestly don't have the time, or mental capacity to think about you. Remember, they are in a new world and the old one in a sense ceases to exist.

Let me explain the high-alert thing. Rockets, mortars, snipers, suicide bombers, truck bombs, and IED's can come inside the wire 24/7, so you are always "on." This means you are prepared to take action quickly. And believe it or not, it holds true while you are sleeping. Now let's reverse the roles a bit. Let's imagine the cops come to you house and tell you that they have received a tip that kidnappers have targeted you, but they don't know who they are and when they will come, in fact it might be months down the road.

You would be a wreck wouldn't you? Every little creak, every little shadow would freak you out. Even the phone ringing or a knock on the door would be paralyzing. Well this scenario is exactly what troops have to endure downrange, but they don't get to go hide under the bed or call 911, because they are 911.

So make it easy on them. Don't force them into a situation where they have to lie to protect your feelings. You can't possibly understand unless you've been deployed but hopefully I've given you a brief glimpse into how we think.

Here's another thing that's important. Hugely important. Don't ever send a "Dear John" letter/e-mail/text to someone who's deployed. You may think it's the right thing to do and that you'd want to know right away if roles were reversed. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Did I say wrong? It's embarrassing as hell in a male dominated culture and would be for females living in a male culture as well. These people are your family and they know when something's wrong and they will not let it go until they find out. You can say all that you want that it's none of their business but that's WRONG too. It is their business because this person has their six. And if they are distracted, or down, then it might get someone else on the team killed.

So if you ever cared for them even a little bit (and the others they are deployed with) then wait until they get home to tell them. Now you might ask me what to say when they ask how long it's been going on and that's your cue to lie. They were trying to spare your feelings so be decent and try to spare theirs and tell them it was recent. Now you might totally disagree with me but until you've been there and done that, you don't have a leg to stand on. Rant over.

At 0545 the air crew announced we were in friendly territory. I massaged the stitches in my shoulder and started to compose a text.

6:50 PM

Circe

We were eating dinner when Alexandra's phone buzzed. Did I mention how good a cook she is? I found out much later that she had been Cordon Bleu trained. She was a many faceted woman. Beautiful, smart, strong, and a chef? What else was she talented in? Alexandra looked at her phone and I could see a visible weight come off her shoulders and her eyes lit up.

"He's safe and he's on his way home!"

I was ecstatic to say the least. "Is he okay? Is he hurt?"

"He said he had a minor wound Miss, but that he was fine."

"Did he say anything else? Did he say anything about me?" God I sounded like a middle-school girl with a crush.

"All he said was that your training was to begin again on his return."

"How long will that be? Days? Weeks?" I sounded like the Carpenter's song Mr. Postman. Ugh! What was happening to me?

"It may be days or weeks Miss. They have to debrief and sometimes the process is quite lengthy."

Ugh! Days?! Weeks?! Suck a duck that sucked. I was feeling a little woozy so I decided to go lay down on the bed for a minute. Images of Tillman, that ripped body, the strength and confidence he carried were almost irresistible. I flashed back to the times I had exposed myself to him, wishing desperately that he would take me. Yet all I had been rewarded with so far was one passionate kiss and a whole mess of sexual frustration. I should mention that the kiss had been amazing, best kiss of my life, and you ladies know what I'm talking about.

As I was laying there the images of him were getting clearer and more real. The excitement over his return was palpable. Then I saw the horse tail on my dresser and it was too much. The look in his eyes when I rammed it in was knee melting. My hand had a mind of its' own as it slid under my shorts and panties and automatically tested my vagina for wetness and was surprised by the amount. My middle finger picked up a glob of the liquid and smeared it along my lips and clit. Then it began a rapid circular massage of my clit, stopping momentarily every so often to retrieve more wetness from my vagina. I continued at this pace for quite some time, riding waves of pleasure that never quite culminated in an orgasm. Then the memory of the feeling of that kiss threw me over the edge. My muscles all tightened, my hips thrust against my moving finger, and my eyes rolled back in my head. My orgasm started as a low moan that turned into an animalistic growl, which led to hip bucking and all out yelling, "Fuck me Teacher! Please fuck me! Fuck my fucking wet pussy! Ram your hard cock into me!" The waves came one after the other until they gradually subsided. There were a few aftershocks and them my muscles all relaxed.

I opened my eyes to see Alexandra standing in the doorway but I was so spent that I just laid there with my hand stuffed down my shorts and my legs spread apart in a most unladylike fashion.

"Oh Miss! I really wish you hadn't done that! Mr. Tillman was very specific about that sort of thing."

"I know he is Alexandra but I couldn't help myself. It's all been so frustrating. It can be our little secret can't it?"

"I wish it was as easy as that Miss, he will know. He always knows."

"Is, is my house bugged?"

"I doubt it Miss. He generally doesn't use that sort of thing. Somehow he just knows and he will see it in you as soon as he sees you. I would suggest that you tell him what happened just as soon as you meet again."

"What will happen if I don't?"

"I don't know Miss, but it won't be anything good. Mr. Tillman is very strict regarding the rules during a training session."

"But it's my body and I can do what I want! Nobody own my body but me!"

Quietly Alexandra said, "Not it's not Miss. It belongs to Mr. Tillman. Remember the contract?"

I must have deflated about five sizes when the wind was knocked out of me. The contract. And no safe word. I believed Tillman when he said he never tortured people, but he never said he didn't sometimes use excruciating pain for a lesson or discipline. I quickly removed my hand from my shorts and cursed my wet pussy. "Look what you've gotten us into now you stupid bitch."

"Excuse me?" said Alexandra.

"Oh not you, I was talking to my vagina."

Like it was totally expected Alexandra nodded and left the doorway.