The Awaening of Angel

14 July 10:15 AM

Circe

The doorbell rang and I all but skipped to the door. It was the FedEx man and the poor guy about dropped his package when I opened the door. (Oooh! 'package' That's funny) It must have been the tight white tank top and pink short-shorts and not wearing a bra probably added to the impact on the poor man. But honestly I liked the power and control that my looks gave me. He just thrust out the reader for me to sign and didn't seem able to say anything. I signed, took the package, flashed him a smile and turned to close the door, making sure he got a good view of my ass in the process. Ok, so you are calling me a tease but with as sexually frustrated as I was, it was lucky that I wasn't out banging whatever came around the corner.

I plopped down on the couch and tore open the box. Inside was something purple and it was sort of shaped like a clam but narrower. The package said it was a We Vibe 4. Also in the box was one of those rough letters sealed in red wax. I dreaded to open it but knew I had to. The letter read:

"This device is your negative reinforcement for your negative behavior. It is a remote controlled vibrator that I can run from an app on a smart phone. It also has a temp sensor and a camera so I will know when it's inserted. One part of it rests on your G-spot and the other on your clitoris and it is comfortable to wear all day."

Well then, that's not bad at all. Having a few orgasms every day. This really wasn't punishment. Then the letter continued:

"Alexandra will be provided a schedule and a number of events you are to attended with the vibrator in place. You may choose to take her along or go by yourself. Removal of the device during the times it's supposed to be in will result in contract termination. Leaving the event or venue before the end of the scheduled time will also result in contract termination."

"Shit! Alexandra!"

She padded lithely into the living room. "Yes Miss?"

"Did Mr. Tillman send you a schedule of some sort?"

"Yes he did, last night by e-mail. But it just looks like a schedule of places he wants you to go."

I handed her the letter and she went pale and blurted out, "Oh holy hell! How are you going to do that without becoming a spectacle?"

I thought about it for a moment and replied, "Well maybe I can just disconnect from myself and just ignore it." It was a nice sentiment but a totally hopeless endeavor. The thing would turn out to be a beast.

I looked at the schedule and I was supposed to go to a movie that evening from 7-9. My hopes were dashed that I might get one with a small audience when I noted that it was the summer blockbuster and a very popular theater. Alexandra looked over my shoulder and just shook her head.

"He has outdone himself this time, hasn't he Miss?"

"Yeah Alexandra, I guess he has. But you have known him longer than I have."

6:45 found me sitting in a theater that was about 80% full. I wanted to get a seat in the very front or the sides to try to isolate myself but it was not to be and I had to sit near the middle. I chose a loose fitting top and a skirt rather than jeans. I wanted to have some hope of inconspicuously adjusting the vibe and jeans wouldn't let me do that. I added a pair of panties and placed a few panty liners in. Truthfully I was hoping that they would muffle some of the sound and absorb some of the wetness.

All the trailers ended and the feature began. Since it was an action film I was hoping I could use it to distract myself. It was so comfortable that I almost forgot it was in. Then I sensed a little tickle and then a pulse. Well this isn't so bad I thought to myself. Then a big buzz hit and caught me off guard and I audibly gasped. Luckily it was in a part of the movie where it fit so nobody seemed to notice. But my hopes were dashed that I could ignore this thing. The buzzes and pulses were alternating between my G-spot and my clit.

I must admit that it was very sensual knowing that Tillman was sitting somewhere controlling all of this. Maybe he was even in the theater at this very moment. I started to look around but another wave hit me head on and I had to clench the seat arms to keep from yelping. The next one hit and I kicked the seat in front of me. I profusely apologized to the lady in front of me for kicking the seat.

Then it stopped but I could feel that the panty liners were pretty wet. Hoping that it was over I tried to relax. But it was a short-lived respite. The next set of vibrations just about knocked me out of the seat and I did yelp this time. A few people shushed me and a few got up and moved. I heard the little boy two seats down say, "Mommy, I think something is hurting that lady. Maybe she got ants in her pants." A few people snickered at that and my embarrassment was growing by the minute.

More vibes, more yelps and more squirms. People were moving in droves but I had no choice to sit where I was. The panty liners had long given up the ghost and my skirt and the seat cushion were soaking wet. Much later I thought about what the theater must have smelled like and I'm sure some of the guys were enjoying the aroma. Now I was having full blown orgasms and just doing everything I could to not yell or moan. I tried laughing a few times but it was always in the wrong part of the movie. The best I could do was a stifled grunt like a pig.

I was deathly afraid that someone would call the manager when a big one hit and I couldn't hold back a long extended yell. It made the scene from "When Harry Met Sally" look like a church ladies production. Tons of people turned around this time but things worked out in my favor as the credits started rolling. I knew that the back of my skirt had a big wet spot on it and I had to decide on when to leave so that the fewest people would see it. I chose to wait until the theater had emptied and I made my way out the door hoping to sneak out the side entrance. But that little boy was somewhere behind me and I heard him say, "Mommy look. That lady wet her dress!" I practically ran out to my car and left.

I was crying all the way home. It was all so humiliating! Why had I broken the rules? This was just such a horrible punishment and there were many more events left to get through. Yet again, faithful Alexandra was at the door waiting for me when I pulled up. I fell into her arms and sobbed until there were no more tears. I looked up and saw that mascara had run all over her top.

"I'm so, so sorry Alexandra, I've ruined your top."

"Oh this old thing Miss, I was going to donate it tomorrow."

I knew that wasn't true because it was a $700 Dolce and Gabbana custom piece. But her attitude endeared me to her. I leaned up and kissed her affectionately on the cheek.

"What was that for Miss?"

"You've just been such a dear through all of this and I just wanted to say thanks. But how am I going to get through all of this? This was horrible and there are so many more."

"Well since you are asking Miss I would suggest a few things. First of all you just put one foot in front of the other. You don't look at how many steps there are to go and you don't look back to see how many you've taken. You just look at your feet and keep putting one in front of the other."

"Secondly you need to detach from your settings, that's what we, I mean they do in the military. What do you care what all those strangers are thinking? They are living in a gray cookie-cutter world and just look at the one you are experiencing. You need to find a way to float above yourself."

"Thirdly you should take joy that Mr. Tillman is personally running that thing and not some flunky. Knowing that he's controlling your orgasms makes me hot just thinking about it. Do you see my points Miss?"

"Yes I do Alexandra. Thank you. I will try to take your advice. But how am I supposed to detach myself? I have no clue what that even means."

"Well Miss, there are no restrictions on me helping you exercise so I think we will focus on yoga. But that's for another day. Let's get you into bed."

16 July

Circe

This date began about two weeks of continuous orgasms in various locations and venues all over the city. I won't bore you with all the details but will mention some of the more notable ones.

The first one was on a standing room only commuter bus at rush hour. I actually had to loop my wrists through two overhead straps to keep from falling down. At first people were asking if I was okay and then they stopped. Most of the men seemed to enjoy the show. In some ways the worst part was the puddle I left on the floor.

Then there was the elevator in the skyscraper that I had to ride up and down in all during rush hour. Because of the wetness one lady thought my water had broken. I don't know where she got that because I didn't look pregnant in any form or fashion. The elevator had mirrored walls which made it even worse.

Somewhere in the mix was a concert at the local symphony orchestra. The silent passages were a bitch but some of the orgasms happened during crescendos which helped cover them up. An interesting thing occurred during the symphony that I should mention. There were some passages where the vibrations synched with the music and it created a whole-body/brain vibration. The sensation was amazing and I felt like I was floating high above the concert when that happened. I definitely want to look into that some more.

But the most devious one was when I had to run a mini-marathon with the thing in. You'd think that the running would be a distraction and would help you to ignore the vibes. Nope! In fact it was worse because the movement of running made the vibrator move around on my clit and G-spot. I'd have to stop running and grab a hold of a fence or light pole until the wave passed.

Over the course of the two weeks some interesting things happened. One was that I got to the point where I wasn't embarrassed. Another was that I got to where I didn't care what others thought. I also started to like being watched, I guess I felt a sense of control from it. And lastly I learned to be able to keep my muscles somewhat relaxed during an orgasm so I wasn't flailing all over the place and in some ways that created stronger orgasms.

31 July 9:50 PM

Circe

Alexandra called out from the living room, "Miss, I'm going out tonight and won't be back until tomorrow morning."

"Okay. Well have fun Alexandra."

"You too Miss."

Then I heard the door close. 'You too'? What did that mean? I got may answer when the phone rang about ten minutes later.

"Hello?"

"This is Teacher. You have done well these past few weeks and it is now time for your positive reinforcement as a reward. When I hang up you will go take a hot bath. There are bath oils on the tub that Alexandra has left there you. Light the candles, turn on your favorite music and have a glass of champagne. At 10:30 get into bed, insert the vibrator and remain naked. I would suggest you put some towels under you. Do not remove the vibrator until after 6 AM. Enjoy your reward."

With that he hung up. It was so good to hear his voice and I realized that he was the one who sent Alexandra away for the evening so that I would feel no hindrances for what was to come. It was tantalizing to think of being in my bed and Tillman running the vibrator.

The bath, and champagne were wonderful. And I don't know what those oils were but the whole experience put me in a state of utter bliss. By 10:20 I was laying on the bed with plenty of towels under me and just waiting for the clock to tick down. I was so excited that I was shaking. 10:29 rolled around and it was time to insert the vibrator and at that moment I had an idea. I remembered that he said the vibrator had a temp sensor and a camera, so right before inserting it I held the lens up to my face and blew a kiss. Then I held it facing my vagina for a few seconds and fingered my clit. Take that Tillman!

I laid there for probably 20 minutes with nothing happening. Had he forgotten? Or was he just teasing me to let the anticipation build? I think we all know Tillman well enough by now to know it was the second one.

It all started with an almost imperceptible fluttering. Like butterfly kisses. Then it built to a level that my first orgasm began to release, and then it abruptly stopped. Damn him! How did he know? Then it started again but with a different pattern. I got close to that orgasm and it stopped again. DAMN! Again it started and yet a different pattern. He was edging me. Over and over the same cycle repeated with my tension level getting higher and higher. I grabbed the sheets with both hands and my back was locked in an arch, "Teacher! Please fuck me! Please let me come!" and with those screamed words he let me go all the way. I was writhing, and bucking my hips. My toes curled so hard they cramped. The orgasm built to a point that my diaphragm locked and my throat constricted. For a few moments I was in another world riding wave after wave of pleasure.

Then the vibrations gradually decreased and I laid there, still locked, soaked in sweat, twitching from moment to moment with aftershocks. I eventually got my muscles to unlock but as they relaxed they started quivering. Wow doesn't convey it. Best orgasm in my life doesn't do it justice. It was like no other experience I've ever had.

But it wasn't over. After a brief rest it all started again. This time I imagined Tillman entering me and roughly pulling back my hair and the eventual orgasm was better than the first. I don't know how many times I came that night because I eventually drifted off into a state of orgasmic trance. I'm here to tell you that they could have run Macy's Day Parade through my bedroom that night and I wouldn't have even known.

"Miss? Miss? Are you okay?"

My eyes fluttered open to see Alexandra standing in the door with a concerned look on her face.

"Ummh, yes, ummh, ok. I'm okay." It came out hoarsely. I had lost some of my voice from all the screaming and grunting. The thoughts of bliss came back to mind and I laid there for a few moments in the glow. I was so happy that I didn't even care that I was laying naked on the bed with my legs spread wide open and a vibrator stuck up my pussy. Nor did I care about the pile of soaked towels I was laying on.

"Well that's good Miss because you look like you've been rode hard and put away wet!"

It took a second for what she said to sink in and when it finally clicked we both burst out in laughter. I laughed so hard that I cried and lost my breath. Between the night's exertions and the laughter I felt like years of stress had been wiped away.

2 Aug 1:20 PM

Tillman

The resilience and fortitude that Angel displayed really impressed me. She had stuck with the program through some very humiliating situations. And her impish little kiss to the vibrator cam and subsequent shot of her fingering herself had frankly caught me off guard. To be honest it had really excited me and the image kept flashing into my head over and over again. She was so different from the other projects I'd taken on. I can't explain why but suffice to say that she resonated with me. Somewhere deep down inside she touched a chord.

But she still hadn't broken loose of her deep dark secret. Of course I have secrets of my own and I guess everybody does. Some are just more impactful than others. Somehow kissing your husband's boss at the office Christmas party doesn't seem to compare to having to shoot a 14 year old suicide bomber who is running towards your team intent on blowing them all to smithereens. But hey, that's my cross to bear right?

That was one of the missions where Roxie had saved all of us. We were out on patrol and this kid started running at us yelling something about his mother. Roxie broke loose and ran ahead and clamped onto his hand. In the process it yanked his hand off the detonator inside his tunic and pulled it open so we could see the explosive vest. He started to reach for the detonator with his other hand and, well, I just couldn't let that happen. So now you can see why Roxie means so much to me.

Okay, enough about me and my petty little whining. Let's get back to Angel and the program. Over the years I have come to the conclusion that there are things that drive people forward and things that hold them back. Most people don't go backwards since that's usually a mental illness or some external force driving them backwards. For most people they either progress or stay status quo. The rate of forward progression is usually based on the number of detractors a person has.

Look at is this way. A ship travelling on the ocean throws out a tiny anchor. It doesn't have much effect does it? Throw out another one and it still doesn't make much difference right? But throw out a whole bunch and it's the same as one big giant anchor isn't it? Or look at those shows about hoarders. The psychologists have to go find that one anchor that caused the problem before the hoarder can throw out garbage and start making progress. Right now I'm in the process of trying to find the anchor or anchors that are holding Angel back.

Now you might ask, 'Holding her back from what?' to which I would answer, 'I don't know.' That's the strange thing about all of this. I can tell that something is holding someone back but I don't know what it's holding them back from. I know that sounds weird but have you ever looked at something and said something was missing but you didn't know what? Or ever tasted some food and said an ingredient was missing but you didn't know what it was? Well that's me with people. And when they finally discover what their anchor is it's also a complete surprise to me as well. So some of what I do is hit and miss until we figure it out and then I can add training that cuts the anchor loose. For Angel we are still in this discovery process.

I should add that lately I've also been feeling like there was something with me that wasn't quite right. Something missing maybe? I know it's not the PTSD or other stuff in my past since I've been dealing with that for years now. This is something new. In any case, it's time to concentrate on next steps for our Trainee. Another test maybe? Yes, another test.

3 Aug 9:35 AM

Circe

It had been a great workout at the gym and Alexandra turned out to be a great fitness coach and workout partner. The yoga she was teaching me was really adding to my confidence and flexibility. I also learned that she was incredibly fit and strong.

We decided to stop at our favorite coffee shop on our way back home and I ordered my normal Mocaccino and she, as always, ordered plain black coffee, which I always found strange. We got our orders and found a corner table to sit and enjoy our drinks.

"Can I ask you a personal question Alexandra?"

"Yes of course Miss."

"First of all I really wish you would call me Angel."

"Well I would love to Miss but I have my orders."

"Yes, yes of course. Well anyway, can I ask how you got that scar on your right side? It looks like it was a pretty severe injury." Alexandra stiffened up for a minute and paused while she thought. Then she relaxed slightly.

"There are details that I'm not allowed to share with you but I can say it is a shrapnel wound I received while working with Mr. Tillman."

"Shrapnel? Isn't that a military term?"

"Yes Miss, it is.

"And you said 'with'. Don't you mean 'for'?"

"No Miss. I meant 'with'."

"Were you in the military Alexandra? Or are you still in the military?"

"That I'm not at liberty to say Miss. I can tell you that I owe Mr. Tillman my life in more ways than one, and I will always trust him with my life."

So I put two and two together. I really wanted to ask her what combat was like and if she had ever had to kill anyone but I knew better. I had an uncle who had fought in Vietnam and he told me that vets will only talk to vets about that sort of stuff and they get very defensive about non-vets asking those sorts of questions.