The Alpha Ch 03

I suppose that as a woman of independent means, I had too much time and money on my hands for my own good. I had neither children nor a career to make demands on my life. I just had myself and that should have been enough. I was highly intelligent, capable, and well aware that I was super attractive. I was in my prime, having shed my moneyed husband but only after seeing to a lifetime of financial security. What woman would not want to be me? Heck, I wanted to be me! Men fawned over me but, truth be told, I found their attention to be boring for the most part. They all wanted to fuck me -- no surprise there, I guess, but it turns me off when a man surrenders his power to me so that he can have me. What is it that drives a man thus? Still, I suppose I'll miss the attention when the day comes that I can no longer attract men as I do now. But Scott had shown me a new way; a path of submission, and I wanted only to let him lead me down that path as I explored pleasures I didn't know existed a month before.

Scott never disappointed me as our relationship developed. He saw to my carnal needs regularly and allowed me to love him, without ever really returning my feelings in kind. I think that somehow if he had, I would have lost interest. Scott required and expected me to service his sexual needs, requiring my unquestioning fidelity all the while continuing to pursue his own extracurricular pleasures. In some perverse way, that excited me. Not only was I aware that he was sexually active with other women but he seemed to make a point to tell me when he had done so. And with each cycle of anger and disgust over being treated so casually, I returned again and again to his bed, as if determined to win him over with my body and with the financial resources at my disposal.

I showered Scott with gifts, hoping I suppose against hope that with all I had to offer, that he would mend his ways and want only me. It can take a long time for a woman in love to realize that she can neither chain nor change such a man -- that the offer of her body cannot bind him to her. And, as I was learning, neither could her money. And I anguished on those nights when he was with another woman. I had in time accepted his ongoing involvement with Elaine. She was no real threat nor were the two wives that he serviced off and on. Actually, that fascinated me. Scott had the power not only to bed two married women, but also to do so with the active connivance of their husbands. This was all new territory for me, but with each step down that road, I found myself increasingly enmeshed in his world. Scott was addicting and, I was learning, he wielded his power in unpredictable ways.

Like any addict, I made repeated vows to end my self-destructive ways, only to find that I was powerless to shed my habits. I could not bring myself to tell him that I had lied about having taken care of my fertility. Twice I had made and broken appointments with my OBGYN to be fitted with an IUD. My body was quite regular in its menstrual cycle and as best as I could, I tried to limit my copulation with Scott to those days when I was safe. But only rarely did I turn him down when he demanded that I be in his bed. I knew that there were days when I took his ultra virile sperm into my body that I might well be ovulating. And when thankfully I had my period each time, I breathed a sigh of relief that I had again dodged a bullet. And, as I discovered, his sexual bullets were live rounds. I was living on borrowed time.

I don't know what made me finally give in though to Jeff, the man I had met on that swinger's site some weeks before. I had not broken off our e-mail exchanges and had agreed in the end to meet him for drinks one evening, knowing full well where this all might lead. And he was completely charming and handsome. I had gone out of my way to look good for him and when we met at the restaurant, I knew instantly that he was totally mine to do with as I chose. And as he chatted me up, I only listened to snippets of his conversation, my mind unclear as to whether or not I would sleep with him. I knew full well that he wanted to fuck me and was doing his best to make that happen, so I just smiled a lot and let him give me his best shot.

And in the end, I agreed to a nightcap as his place. Yeah, a nightcap! I followed him in my car to his home, which was in a gated, upscale development a mile or so away from the restaurant. I knew what was going to happen and I think in some way this was me desperately trying to get back some measure of control or personal power that I had yielded to Scott. No man was going to control me! And fucking this random man was going to be a statement.

So I played the part as best as I could manage. I had no doubt that he wanted me. Well, I mean really, he was like all of the other horny men who craved me. And that meant power, and I desperately wanted to reclaim some sense of my own personal power. It didn't matter that he had no inkling of my real desires. I was going to let him fuck me and, I hoped, make him want me as I wanted Scott. It was my pride, or perhaps the surrender of my pride with Scott, which made my decision to use my body as a tool to gather in Jeff's lust for my body.

And he really was quite the gallant suitor, obviously so proud of his lair and offering me a drink from his well stocked bar. I thought idly that I could have bought him ten times over, but played my part as best as I could. Truthfully I was viewing all of this almost as a disinterested observer. Jeff quite obviously was playing a set piece with me, one which no doubt had charmed many other women. And so too I played my part, laughing on cue at his jokes, and using my body language to convey my willing acceptance to join him in his bed. I chuckled inwardly as I sat on his bar stool and parted my legs slightly in an unspoken signal of my willingness. The only element that made this other than commonplace was my delight in making the seduction perfect.

None of this was lost on Jeff. He told me how beautiful I was, not that I needed to hear that. I mean, I knew my charms better than he did. The excitement for me was owning him, captivating him, and making him drool with desire. Yes I was going to let him do me, but only after he had offered proper submission. So, I played the bitch.

"Oh my goodness, it's so late," I said, looking at my watch. "I have to head home!"

"So soon?" he replied. "It's early. We're still getting to know each other!"

"I do have to meet with my financial advisors tomorrow morning, Jeff. And it really is late."

He showed some balls and moved to me, his hand my long legs as he sought to kiss me. And I let him, wondering what his next move would be.

"You can stay the night and leave early. Okay?"

"You are so naughty! Who told you I would agree to that?!"

"You did -- with what you wore tonight and how you came on to me." And of course he was right. My dress was quite provocative. And so, the decision was mine. His hand was now on my thigh, lightly caressing my flesh.

"Mmmm, well, maybe just this once." And I inclined my body slight to him and he kissed me. And it was really a very nice kiss. And then I just let him have his way with me. He wasted not a moment in exploring my body, his hands all over me. He felt that he had overcome me in some way, not knowing I had made my own statement. No matter, it did feel good to allow him to have my body.

And, I have to admit; Jeff had all the right moves. With practiced skill, he brought me next to him, his hands seeking out my most intimate places. I knew immediately that the soft curve of my breasts had captivated him, as he sought pleasure there immediately. Good boy! I yielded willingly as he tested the readiness of my sex, his hand groping my vulva.

I think that every woman knows when to release her own power and yield to a man. And so, I simply yielded to Jeff. Unlike Scott, Jeff really was quite simple. He wanted simply to fuck me and I was going to let him do just that. I had viewed his penis online but now wanted to have some idea of what was going to be put into my body so I felt his crotch. I can't say that I was disappointed, as I knew his endowment to be average, but he was rock hard, and, as a woman, I appreciated his desire for me.

And then, for some odd reason, he led me to the hot tub in his backyard. Like that was romantic or something. Well, I suppose it was, so I just let him have his way. He pulled off my dress and I stood before him naked, as he so obviously wanted. His hands never left my breasts, I swear, for the next five minutes, as if he had never touched a woman's breasts before. I mean, I know my boobs are really nice, but they couldn't be that amazing! But what did I care? Jeff was raging to fuck me. And then I dropped the bombshell as he positioned himself to enter me.

"Jeff, you have to use a condom."

"What? But why?" he replied, completely gone with lust.

"Because I'm not protected." And that was the truth. I didn't want his sperm inside of me. And I wanted to be in control.

"Damn," he said, his erection poised scant centimeters from my pussy. "Okay, wait here."

I smiled with some perverse satisfaction as he bounded from the hot tub to his house, his erection bobbing up and down. It was rather nice to be in control again. And when he reappeared, ripping the seal from a condom, I relaxed once more, ready to accept him into my body.

I almost laughed as he fumbled pulling the latex over his cock, which truthfully as actually quite nice. Once seated, he turned his attention to me once more and with one determined thrust, he entered my pussy. And it did feel good. I'm just saying, mind you. A man who is determined to fuck you can feel good. Knowing that you are yielding to some guy can feel good. So I just laid back and let Jeff fuck me. And I thought wickedly that I could have done the same with any of the random men who wanted to fuck me.

And Jeff fucked me with true passion, or at least true lust. And I appreciated the reality of his lust, having wondered if Scott truly felt that for me or whether I was nothing more than his sperm receptacle. It felt great to feel the pressure of a man on fire for my body. Jeff proved to be a vigorous lover, and to my surprise I came more than once on his rock hard erection. I knew for a certainty that it was in yielding to a man that I would find my deepest pleasure. Jeff may have been far less of a dominant alpha than Scott, but he was giving me something that Scott could not -- true passion for my womanly charms. And as I realized that, I found myself surrendering unexpectedly to his passion.

Although now on my knees, my body pressed against the hard surface of his hot tub, I yielded fully to Jeff. He sought to reposition me, but instead was treated to my removing of his condom as I moved to fellate him. And I did, taking his cock into my mouth. I wanted him fully inside of me. I knew that he would comply. After a minute or so of his cock in my mouth, I turned again to offer him my unprotected pussy. And he wasted no time in entering me. Now I had his bare, erect cock inside of me. And an unbidden orgasm wracked my body as he plundered my depths. Once more, a man was taking control of me. And I was glad that I was past the point of caring who he was. Jeff pistoned me, his pleasure audible in enjoying my body, as moans let me know of the lust which now controlled his body.

A woman so enamored of a man, has so sense of time or place, so it was surprising to me when I sensed Jeff reaching his climax. I wanted him to withdraw from my pussy as he did so -- honestly I did -- but he was well beyond that point as I felt his body tense and knew in that instant that he was pouring his sperm inside of me. Even the most experienced woman is not prepared for the instant of a man's ejaculation, being so focused as we are on our own bonding hormones. But truthfully, our surging oxytocin release cannot compare on a primal level to the release of a lover's seed into our pussy. And Jeff had done just that. He had mated with me, inseminated me, as Scott had done so often. And in so doing, he had wiped clean my casual desire of an hour ago to fuck and forget. I had let him mark me. I carried his seed, and no mental gymnastics could wipe that clean. He had cum inside of me. And I had again lost control.

Jeff lay on top of me, his breathing labored. I had nowhere to go, so I just lay there, quiescent and wondering about the consequences of the past hour. I felt as though as I had betrayed Scott. Jeff's sperm would be inside of me for a week, seeking my egg. And though I had enjoyed our coupling, I did not want to carry his child. As he nestled against me, I felt real shame. I had violated my pact with Scott, fucking another man. And why? Yes, Jeff had been nice and had pleasured me, but really that was just me trying to assert myself. I did not want his seed inside of me. And so I dressed quickly and left.

And I ignored his e-mails, texts, and phone calls for the next week. Thankfully, Scott was out of town, so I had time to just settle out from my indiscretion. Scott was not one for loving communications, and I was glad for that. I felt violated, cheap, and frankly disgusted with my actions. I wanted Scott inside of me. I wanted his cum to purify me in some way. I hoped that he would never, ever, discover my infidelity. And I totally ignored Jeff's repeated messages. I mean, he had fucked me, had his way with me, so why couldn't he now just go away? But he didn't. And then, distressingly, he even threatened to reveal my sluttish ways to Scott.

Damn and damn! Why are men so perverse? I had let Jeff fuck me, and I mean fuck me bare, and he now was trying to destroy my life? I felt my life slipping away from me; or at least my control of it. I still carried deep inside of my body the seed of a man who seemed determined to damage me. Well, that sucked! I think I understood what drove men to such extremes. They were driven by their need to mate with multiple women. And to me that was such utter bullshit! I just decided to hunker down and weather the storm I had created.

And in the end Jeff just gave up. I was relieved though I was even more relieved that the results of several in-home pregnancy tests had been negative. The thought of having a child by a beta male like Jeff was loathsome. It had become very apparent however that there was a reason for my rolling the dice as I had been doing with allowing first Scott and then Jeff unprotected access to my pussy. After years of enjoying the childless good life and the fruits of my ex-husband's highly upscale income, I now wanted something more. I wanted a child. I had no intention of getting married again -- ever! Though I was now totally in sync with my sexually submissive side, that didn't extend much farther than the bedroom.

Scott was obviously the one to do the deed; or was he? His plusses as source of fertilizing sperm were many. He was physically a marvel, although truth be told I knew that the day that he curtailed his demanding exercise regimen, his bulky frame would go to nothing but fat. He was built like a bull, although I found it rather singular that his barrel-chested torso stopped at his rather trim waist and an ass that was truly perfect; high, tight, and firm but not at all as oversized as his upper body. His thighs were thick and heavily muscled, but, again, they tapered to a more slender lower element as his calves were less pronounced. His cock, well, I mean really, what was not to like? And his bollocks were almost obscenely generous. Well, the last two elements really were not deciding factors, as they were simply his reproductive equipment and more for my pleasure than to be taken into account for the decision I was trying to make.

And, woman that I am, I tried to imagine the reproductive results of our mating. If I had a son by Scott, I hoped that he would have some elements of his physical magnificence, but tempered hopefully with my more well proportioned frame. Scott was not what I would call handsome so much as he was striking; almost imposing in his rugged masculinity. Okay, that would work if my son had his facial features. But try as I might, I couldn't imagine what a daughter with Scott might look like. In the end I gave up and trusted that she would favor me. I'm not at all shy about admitting that my looks and figure were first-rate. Any child of mine could do a lot worse than have my features.

But beyond all of that I knew little of his genetic background, so I made a mental note to delve a bit more deeply into his past. I wondered if he would guess my reasons. I doubted it -- likely he would simply think I was just being a female trying to get my hooks into him with all of my questions. I didn't think that he would be pissed if I questioned him. With his alpha confidence, he would take it as a given that all women wanted to possess him. And to an extent, he was right about that. It had taken me time to yield enough so that my being with him was on his terms, not mine. I wondered whether his alpha qualities could be passed along genetically. I knew him to be highly intelligent and fairly successful. He had a surprising taste for beautiful objects; be they art, ornaments, or women. I had spent most of my time on my back at his place but the female in me noticed that his house had surprising style. So, all of these qualities were on the asset side of the ledger.

My mind ran through a list of other possible sperm donors; friends and business associates of my husband's mainly. It didn't take long to dismiss all of them. I then had this moment of inspiration that perhaps I should go on a long cruise or visit an upscale resort. No doubt I would find a wealth of attractive, horny men there! I had ample resources for an extended vacation along these lines, reminding myself that if I chose to go this route, I had best be sure to plan carefully so as to find the best breeding stock. And I chuckled inwardly at the thought. But really, women are driven differently than men. We can and will be whorish and enjoy sex for its own sake, but even when we might be a bit sluttish; we still rated every man for his potential as a partner. Only when a man had passed that hurdle would we spread our legs and take allow them to have their way with us. And though we loved men, we distrusted them instinctively, or rather we knew and distrusted their driving motivation.

So, yes, perhaps selecting some random man on a cruise might be the best option. The downside of course was that I would not have the time to learn about his background. I would be making a fateful choice based mainly on my attraction and my instincts. And I had no sense of how readily I might be impregnated. Scott had had me on several occasions when I was likely ovulating, but nothing had come of that. Jeff didn't know it of course but his insemination of me was at the right time of my cycle as well. I had dodged spermatic bullets over the last few months and was glad to be more in touch now with what I wanted in my life.

In the end I decided to give Scott a month to impregnate me, and then I would seek another, random man on a cruise or at a resort. The real question now became whether or not to tell him that I had lied about my being safe. And I was very nervous about that. Scott had a temper; I mean he had been a UFC fighter and his veins ran rich with testosterone. Though I enjoyed being on the sexually receiving end of his driven nature, I did not want to be on the receiving end of his temper. I shuddered to think of what he might do to me if he knew of my being with Jeff. I decided to just tell him what I had in mind and be grateful that he did not know where I lived if this all blew up in my face.

I knew that he was due back Friday afternoon from his extended business trip. We were to reconnect Saturday evening. I knew that he had reserved Friday evening for one of the two couples he serviced on a fairly regular basis. So, Saturday morning I decided would be the right time to call. His balls had almost certainly been drained by then and I hoped that perhaps he would be sated and more amenable to what I was about to suggest.