Tae What You Want From Me

My name is Hayley, and this is my first time ever writing erotica, so please be gentle with me! But please, please, PLEASE leave comments/constructive criticism!! This is the second chapter in a series, and I suggest that you read the first chapter; otherwise this may not make a ton of sense! I really hope that you like it!! Thanks for reading!! <3

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The Anniversary Dinner

6:45

7:01

7:38.

8:14

9:02

9:42

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.

I had to keep telling myself as I paced through our dining room, for what seemed like the millionth time that night. My lower lip was practically bleeding; I'd been biting it so hard, trying to keep myself from crying. And yet my eyes betrayed me, and filled up with tears anyway. He'd forgotten.

I'd been so excited for the past few days. This was all I could think about. The box had been sitting like a ticking bomb in the trunk of my car, and it was all I could do not to take it out and show it to him early. But no, I'd been patient. And here we were, the night of our anniversary. We'd said that dinner would be at 6:30. He wanted to go out, but since I had my little surprise, I thought it best that we stay in. I'd skipped work today, and spent the entire day cooking his favorite meal – tenderloin with this special sauce recipe that I got from his mom, mashed potatoes, and a colorful medley of vegetables. I'd even made home baked bread, and a peach cobbler, his favorite, for dessert. I'd bought a bottle of Dom Perignon. The night was supposed to be perfect. I'd set out our wedding china, the crystal glasses that we'd gotten, and the silverware that had been passed down to be from my great grandmother.

I'd filled the dining room with candles, dimmed the lights, put his favorite music on quietly in the background, and then gone to wait. And that's what I'd been doing. For the past three plus hours. It was customary for Brad to be late. I expected that from him. Hell, I even started dinner fifteen minutes late so that I would allow him extra time to get home, and it would be ready when he got here. But three hours? Really? I stopped pacing and sat down, exasperated, in one of the chairs, and took a shaky breath.

This was stupid. I was doing all of this work for something that was such a lost cause. I looked down at myself and laughed, shaking my head. God, I looked like such a pathetic slut. I was wearing a dress that was practically lingerie. Sure, it was Dior, and not like I'd gotten it from some trashy sex store, but that didn't change the fact that I was barely clothed.

I looked ridiculous. This wasn't me. I kicked off the hooker heels that I'd put on, practically hurling them across the room. They were about five inches high, black and strappy, and the most painful things that I'd ever put on my feet. But they were hot. And that's why I'd even bothered. At that I laughed out loud. All of this, for what? To be stood up, at my own house. On my anniversary. What a waste of a blowout, mani/pedi and Brazilian.

10:09

10:33

11:16

I stood up, closed my eyes for a moment, and finally began clearing the table. This night was over. I was a fool for suddenly thinking that just because it was this a special day of the year our entire relationship would be different. Nothing was different except for us. We weren't the same couple we used to be. And at that, my eyes filled with tears all over again. This time I didn't even try to stop them. What was the damned point? My marriage was over. I think I'm allowed a few tears.

And of course, at that moment, the door swung open, and my husband walked in like nothing had happened. He just stopped and stared at me, as if trying to figure out what exactly what was going on. I was quite sure how to read the look on his face. Part lust, I could tell, because let's face it; I was a fucking knock out in this dress. My little body was poured into this thing. I'm tiny, being only 5'3'', but a bit curvy, with size 36DD breasts and a 28 inch waist. And this dress emphasized everything I was proud of. So yeah, I could see how he could be staring because of the dress. But somehow, I didn't think that was the entire reason. At least I hoped to God it wasn't.

Probably had something to do with the fact that I had mascara running down my face, and was still crying. I wasn't going to pull myself together. Not this time. Normally, at least in the past few months, when Bradley had come in, and I'd been upset, I'd gotten myself together quickly, not wanting him to be bothered. But not this time. The bastard should feel bad.

"Oh, Nicole." His voice came out as just a whisper. He pulled out his blackberry, looking at the time, obviously just thinking I was upset that he was home late once again. And then there it was. His face crumpled. He must have seen the date. He looked almost broken. I would have felt bad for him, had I not been so upset. There it was. He was realizing. "Oh Nikki. Oh my God. Oh my God."

With that I just shook my head and began down the narrow hallway leading towards our master bedroom. Yeah, let him feel bad about it. "Your dinner is in the fridge if you're hungry. I made your favorites", I mumbled, unsure if he could hear me. I didn't care.

This was kind of a surprising reaction from me, to be honest. I'd spent all night wishing he was home, and now here he was, and all I wanted was to be alone. I moved quickly through our bedroom, unzipping my dress along the way, until I was stripped down to just my barely there lacy black panties and bra. I went into our oversized bathroom, and shut and locked the door behind me, the proceeded to collapse against it. It was only then that I truly let myself go. I put my head in my hands, and I simply sobbed.

The Next Day

He'd spent the night pounding on the door, begging me to come out. I couldn't. I just couldn't face him. Yes, I'm aware that I'm part of the problem. But I just couldn't. Eventually I must have passed out, because I woke up on the bathroom floor with light streaming through the windows, and my husband gone, yet again. Surprise, surprise.

I grabbed my hot pink Oscar de la Renta silk robe as I walked towards the kitchen, surprised to see rose petals all over my mahogany wood floors. Okay, he was off to a good start. I walked into our main living room, and couldn't help but grin as I saw our apartment filled with different colors of roses. There must have been fifty vases scattered around the living room, dining room and kitchen. Okay, he was getting points back. My eyes fell on a note on the table, and I quickly ran over, almost giddy at this point.

My sweet girl,

You have no idea how sorry I am for last night. Please look on the kitchen table, you'll see two boxes. Wear what is in them. A limo will pick you up tonight at seven fifteen outside to take you to dinner, and I will meet you there. I love you –B

I didn't even realize that I'd started crying until a few tears fell onto the page, slightly smearing the messy handwriting that I loved so much. I didn't bother to wipe my eyes; I just smiled, and walked towards the kitchen. Things were looking up.

The Night of Redemption

I shivered slightly as I stepped outside, towards the black stretch limo that was waiting outside of our building. The night was a cold one, but I hadn't bothered to grab a coat. I wasn't about to cover up this amazing dress. The dark red material draped as a cowl neck in the front, and then the dress was open in the back. It hit the ground at just the right place. On anyone else it may have looked silly, but he knew me well. On me it looked perfect. The color complemented my dark brown hair and light, creamy complexion. It was simply stunning. And the diamonds that he had draped around my neck were breath taking. The teardrop necklace, with the matching earrings just highlighted the dress, and made my neck look long, and feminine. He was incredible. I'm sure he had some help, but I wasn't going to ask. However he'd managed to do it, Bradley had literally picked out the perfect outfit for me to wear.

The ride to the restaurant was a short one, luckily, considering I was so anxious I felt as though I was going to pass out. I felt like I was going out on a first date all over again. We were so far separated at this point I didn't know what to expect. This wasn't going to be the average anniversary dinner. I knew that. Suddenly the limo stopped, and the door opened. I took a deep breath, grabbed my black silk clutch, the box that contained the gifts for Bradley, and I stepped out. Yes, I'm aware that it was incredibly risky to bring the gifts here, to a public place. But fuck it. Maybe the added shock value of presenting this in a public place would be a good thing. Plus, it wasn't like I was going to ask him to throw me down and fuck me right there on the table.

I'd contemplated even bringing the gifts. I was so hurt by what had transpired last night. Why should I give such a big part of myself to him when he couldn't even remember a date? But this was for me too. I shouldn't have to give this thing that I was so excited about up just because he had been a complete asshole. Maybe he didn't deserve this. If my friends knew about this they'd probably scold me for still giving it to him. But I had made my decision, and I wanted to.

I laughed out loud when I looked up at the sign of the restaurant that he'd brought me to. Of course. The place that he'd proposed to me. Good, he was feeling bad. "Ma'am", the driver tipped his hat slightly to me, and I smiled and nodded, then walked inside.

Before I could say anything, I perky blonde woman grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the back of the restaurant to one of the secluded booths (that would definitely work to my advantage when presenting my gift). "Thanks" I whispered to her half-heartedly, not looking at her.

All I could see was the man sitting in the tuxedo. All six feet and 4 inches of him. God, he was beautiful. His dirty blonde hair was freshly cut, and his dark green eyes were smiling, despite the fact that his mouth was not. And God, he rocked that tux. Yes, you could definitely call me shallow. One of the main things that initially attracted me to him was his looks. He was built. He was rock solid. He was striking. We locked eyes, and he motioned to the dark brown leather seat. I sat down across from him, and he laughed, hearty and deep. A laugh that I loved. He grabbed my waist, and pulled me over to the middle seat, next to him. "I don't want you all the way over there" he murmured in my ear, before biting my earlobe slightly, making me squirm.

God, I loved him. He did so many things that I hated, but I did. I loved him. "Hi" I whispered, giving him a small smile. "Hi", he smiled back, pulling me closer, and kissed my forehead.

"I'm so sorry" he said softly, holding me close to him. My eyes filled up with tears, and all I could do was nod against his chest. What was with all this crying I was doing lately? That wasn't like me. I wasn't a 'crier'!

I pulled back, looking up at him, and bit my lip, unaware of what I should do next. This was all so uncomfortable. "We're pretty off track, huh?" He said, matter-of-factly, taking the words right out of my mouth. All I could do was nod. I wasn't going to talk for now. I was owed a few apologies.

"Nicole, I'm ---", he paused, looking down at the table. He took a sip of water, and grabbed a piece of bread. I stared at him pointedly, silently urging him to go on.

"...I'm so sorry, sweet girl. I am." He nodded, as if trying to reinforce his point. "I'll say it over and over. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. And not just for last night. Because I know that you're not just upset about last night. I've really sucked as a husband lately, huh?"

I just looked at him. I wasn't going to say it. That wouldn't do us any good. He looked down, and let out a shaky breath, and closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. "This job has become really important to me. It's just such a great opportunity. I've gotten caught up in it. And I guess I didn't really think about it. I mean, I did, but we didn't have any really huge fights, so I kind of just figured that we were okay?"

"I wasn't about to start a screaming match with you, Brad!" I interrupted him, raising my voice slightly, and narrowed my eyes. He was right with that one. We had little fights, but nothing huge. We were more just silent. He was never there to have fights with.

He grabbed both of my hands and kissed them before he went on, "Nikki, I never meant to hurt you. I've been working so hard. Trying to make a solid living for us, trying to save up so that we can have some cushion and then can start a family in a few years like we both want. I just... I love you so much, and I want to provide for you. I want to give you everything and more..."

I shook my head vigorously, moving closer to him, and pulling my hands from his. I grabbed his face with my small hands, and pulled him close to me, and kissed him hard. "Oh, sweetheart. You do. You do provide for me. And we have money. We come from money. We're okay." I paused, squeezed his hand, and repeated, "We're okay."

"I just... I don't know. I'm so sorry. I guess that's it. I can't say much more, huh? It was really horrible for me to miss last night. I'm so sorry, Nicole."

"I know." I did. That was the truth. I believed him. I knew him well enough to know his bullshit apologies by now. I scooted closer to him, and kissed his lips softly. "Are we going to be okay?"

As soon as I said it I immediately regretted it. I don't know why that came out of my mouth. It certainly wasn't something I had planned to say. I threw my hands over my lips, and moved quickly away from him to the other side of the booth, looking at him wide-eyed. I so didn't mean to say that.

Wow, way to fuck up the evening, Nicole

, was all I could think. Over and over. And his silence didn't help.

After what felt like an eternity, he broke into a huge smile, and grabbed my waist, lifting me as though I weighed nothing, and pulled me onto him so that I was slightly on his lap. He just shook his head at me and laughed. "My silly sweet girl. Of course we're going to be okay. How could you think otherwise? We're going to be fine. I love you. More than anything in the entire world. And I'm going to spend the next seventy years of our lives together making up for this awful first year of marriage." He tipped my head back so that he could kiss me, and said against my lips, "I'm sorry for making you doubt us."

This was the marriage that I'd had in the beginning. This was the man that I'd married. This was the man that I was confident in sharing my fantasies with. I squirmed in his lap, and moved off of him, reaching for the box, but he stopped me. "No, if we're doing gifts, I get to go first." He reached inside his jacket and pulled out an envelope, and placed it on the table, then slid it over to me. He nodded to me, giving me the okay to open it.

Like a child, I tore into it. I was expecting jewelry. That was the typical anniversary gift, right? A necklace or a bracelet or something? Hell, I thought that all of this that he'd dressed me in for tonight was my gift. But of course, here he was, with something else. I opened the envelope, and let out a surprised gasp when I pulled out two plane tickets marked with tomorrow's date. "Bahamas. We did Hawaii for the honeymoon. And you'd said that the Bahamas was your second choice, right? Let me take you away, Nikki. We need a week away together. Just you and me."

I stared at him, simply shocked. A week in paradise? But... "What about your job?" It wasn't worth it if he was going to be on his blackberry the entire time. I'd rather just stay home.

As if reading my mind, he handed me his phone. "Take it. Just you and me. For a week. I promise. I told them I'm taking a week off. I have vacation days. It's overdue."

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could say anything, he was already continuing, "And don't worry about your work either. I called them and told them that their star therapist wouldn't be in this week."

"Thank you," I whispered my eyes teary. All I'd been doing lately was crying, but luckily this time they were happy tears. Grateful tears. This was going to be amazing. Simply amazing.

And speaking of... I reached for the box and handed it to him, my hands shaking. My heart was beating so loudly I'm sure that he could hear it. I bit my lip hard enough to draw a bit of blood, and I fumbled as I gave him the medium sized box, wrapped in beautiful silk paper, and decorated with sparkly thick ribbon. I cast my eyes downward, and pointed to the card first. Yeah, there was no way that I could watch as he opened this. For a split second I considered grabbing it back, saying it wasn't ready yet, and taking it back. But no, it was done. I trusted him. And I was giving him this.

He opened the card, and looked over at me questioningly, clearly horribly confused. I'm not a nervous person by nature. So it made sense for him to be thrown off by my erratic behavior. I saw him tighten his jaw as he began to read, and his eyes bulged to the point that I was almost worried they'd fall out of his head. His brow furrowed, and his lips pursed. Oh, shit.

Bradley,

When we got married, I promised to give you my everything. I have... except for this. So I figured that on this, the night of our one year anniversary as a wedded couple, I would tell you a naughty little secret of mine. But before I do, I need to acknowledge that things have been really awful between us lately. Which is one of the reasons I'm doing this now. I figure that this could spice things up enough to maybe give us a boost to work on our relationship, or you could find me a total disgusting freak, and then we could just add this to the list of problems that we already have.

So, with that said, I present these items to you. With them I also hand over my entire mind, body and soul to you. I am yours, B, control, to do with as you wish. Use the items as you feel appropriate, I will not protest. This is what I want. This is what I

crave

. I've never told anyone about these secret fantasies of mine, to be dominated, so I hope that you will take them seriously. I'm yours. You may interpret that however you would like to.

With all of my love,

Nicole

I felt my cheeks burn as I heard the paper crinkle and the ribbons being untied. He was opening the box. And then the top was off, and on the table. "Oh fuck", he muttered, under his breath.

Inside the box lay a whip, handcuffs, nipple clamps, ropes, a few candles, a blindfold, and a paddle. I hadn't really known what to buy, since this was my first time, so I just got anything that looked appealing while I was there. And I figured that whatever we didn't have we could go back for, or find something else to use. That is, if we ended up using any of this. God, I hoped we would.

The silence that followed was deafening. We sat in silence for about three minutes, as he decided what he was going to do. I didn't dare look at him. I was so humiliated. This was such a mistake. But then he pulled out his wallet, threw down a hundred dollar bill, muttering something to himself about that probably covering it, and stood up. He put the top back on the box, grabbed the plane tickets and shoved them in his coat pocket, stood up, and jerked me up. I could only shriek. Oh, this was so, so bad.

The Aftermath

"We're going home" he growled in my ear, as he dragged me from the restaurant.

There was fire in his eyes, but I honestly couldn't read his expression, whether it was good or bad. I'd never seen Brad like this before. Normally he was pretty readable. But now... now I had no idea what he was thinking. By the time we got outside (which was pretty quickly, considering he practically ran out of the restaurant, nearly pulling my arm out of its socket), the limo was waiting outside for us. We got inside, and he barked at the driver to take us home. I didn't like the voice he was using. This was so bad. All of my instincts were telling me to get out of the car, not to go home with him. He was going to kill me or something. I'd never been scared of him before. I was scared of him now. I was terrified.