Submission: an Initiation

The first time it happened I don't know whether I should say I was dominated or that I submitted. I would usually say that the latter, that I gave myself and my control away, that I wilfully handed the keys to my body and mind to her, to let her do with them what she willed. With her, that first time I did not submit, I didn't even realise that I was giving something away till it was gone. She held me spellbound and in full knowledge of this she took what she wanted and changed me forever.

The location was Vancouver; I was 22 and fresh off the back of a horrible year spent picking up the pieces of my life. Sporting a dark tan from my recent travels in Spain and a misjudged goatee. I had travelled with my mother and some of the aunties to visit a cousin of mine who had rebelled and moved to the west coast. During the days he took time showing us around the sites, in the evenings he worked leaving me in the company of a couple of joints and my own devices.

It was dusk; I met her on the steps outside the art gallery as people below us danced in Robson Square. I had observed her finishing her own joint. I asked her for a light; her eyes flashed at me when she heard my accent.

"You're from London; I love your accent!"

I was a rabbit trapped in her headlights, I blushed, and I averted my gaze and mumbled something in acknowledgment. She pulled out her lighter and stared back down at me from the step above.

"Only if you share."

I handed her the joint. The flicker of the flame momentarily lit up her face, her eyes emerald green and her lips devil red. She inhaled and held her breath for a few seconds before slowly exhaling. She paused for a moment then sat down on the steps, I followed suit and sat one step below as we had been standing. We sat in relative silence passing the joint back and forth as we watched a dance event in the square below. Our hands brushed with every exchange sending shivers and jolts up and down me each time. I relaxed with every acrid puff trying not to cough and keep my cool. The sparse conversation grew less as the cotton mouth slowly set in. My stomach growled as we neared the end of the joint, the familiar stoned hunger starting to build.

"I'm starving, know somewhere good to get a quick bite?"

"I'll take you to a place if you like, I have the munchies too."

A slow, stoned pause as I mumbled back my simultaneous agreement and gratitude, she giggled.

"Let me tell my friends."

I watched as she walked down the steps over to a group who were observing the dancing. Even when stoned she moved so gracefully. Everything about her seemed so effortless. She spoke a few words to her friends and made her way back up the steps, my eyes never left her for one moment.

"You ready?"

"Your friends aren't joining us?"

"They've eaten, besides I can't stay out anyway. You going to get up off your ass I'm starving?"

I didn't need a second invitation to dinner; I stood up in a flash. Standing in front of her I instantly noticed that she towered over me, she was wearing heels, but even then I was sure without them she would be a good couple of inches taller than me. My stare lingered on her face, she looked like a young Sigourney Weaver with that kind expressive face, though fuller and with a set of bright emerald green eyes, made more piercing by her pale soft skin. Her curly dark hair cascaded down the sides of her face to just above her shoulders and lightly bounced with each step she took. My stare lingered a little too long, and she gave a knowing smirk. I looked back ahead at the ground in front of me as I walked, she walked on my left-hand side which made me nervous; I'd always felt clumsier walking on someone's right.

She walked, I followed, stealing glances whenever I could, she had a Rubenesque figure but carried herself well with confidence that was so sexy. We walked making a slow small talk; my mouth was dry and my tongue was sticking to the roof of my mouth as I spoke. She was 28 and doing a doctorate in Art History; I knew nothing about art. I was 26 (I lied) and had recently quit dental school (that was the truth) and was looking for something new to do. It struck me that she was overdressed to have just been hanging with friends for an evening while getting stoned. I was nervous, had she changed her plans for me; she was stunning; she was out of my league. I kept on following.

"You like burritos? There's a cool place up by here, but we might need to wait a bit there's usually a line outside."

"Burritos sound good."

In truth, I was starving and the idea of waiting around longer than necessary wasn't appealing. In truth, I would have agreed to anything she said. We turned the corner to find a small takeout place with a queue of people outside the door. I leaned against the wall; she pulled me away.

"Stand up straight; your jacket will get dirty!"

I whined and pulled a face; she glared back and I stood up straight. She smirked back at me; I could feel my heartbeat. The queue in front was moving, albeit slowly.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Well I tried long distance after leaving uni, but it didn't work out (I lied again). How about you?"

"God I'm starving, what are you going to have?"

"What's good?"

"Well I'm a veggie so the choice is easy, their bean and cheese is delicious, I'm going to have two, just don't be around me in the morning, the farts will be obscene!!"

She let out a cheeky self-assured laugh and mischief danced across her face. I nearly blushed, my knees were weak, my heart was drumming away in my chest, I steadied myself.

"Two? Those things look huge."

"Hey, a girl's gotta eat, besides I have to pull a late night reading and I have nothing to eat at my place."

At the counter I had a quick glance at the menu, I was still slightly stoned and my stomach was growling so I ordered the fish burrito and a bottle of water to kill the cotton mouth. To be a gentleman I tried to pay for her food but she gave me that glare again and I backed off.

We stepped back out onto the pavement food in hand; I pulled out the water and started audibly gulping on it trying to quench that awful post joint thirst. She laughed at me as she took slow sips from her bottle. We started walking again; I didn't ask where to. We were both engrossed in eating our burritos and I was so hungry I didn't care to ask. I was grateful that the burrito was huge, by that point I was starving and I was so nervous that I wasn't sure if I could even handle any more small talk.

I didn't notice how long we walked for as we ate, but she stopped outside a small apartment building.

"Well this is me..........you want to come up?"

I stared back dumbstruck.

Her keys jangled about as she searched for the right one in the dimly lit corridor. She was shuffling a little from side to side and was obviously agitated.

"Damn it I really have to pee!"

And as if to emphasise the point she shuffled and jiggled a little more in an exaggerated manner. With a quick click she unlocked the door and flung it open, she hurried in and I heard as she kicked off her heels and disappeared inside. A flick of a switch and the bathroom light momentarily framed her body as the door swiftly closed behind her. I turned on the lights as I closed the apartment door behind me, she had a cosy L-shaped studio apartment; her heels lay flung in the middle of the floor and I picked them up and neatly positioned them with the rest of her shoes. They were suede in a lovely shade of dark ivy green with a four-inch heel. I slipped off my shoes and neatly positioned them close to the door but not too close. I stood aimlessly in the middle of the room not taking off my jacket as I didn't know where to hang it up and not knowing whether I was going to be there long enough to warrant taking it off.

Then I detected the noise and it was quite audible and unmistakable, a strong torrent of pee hitting the water, her walls must have been paper thin and she can't have been oblivious to that fact. The sound tapered and quickly followed by a series of short, sharp farts that lead to a low bassy sonorous one that reverberated around the bowl. She giggled in what must have been a knowing way and I stood more tensely while I blushed lightly. My heart was racing, my skin dancing with warmth and I was all too consumed by the anxiety of what may follow. I heard the flush and I turned to look around the room instead of intently towards the bathroom door.

Her place bared the hallmarks of hurried tidiness, no obvious clutter but the corners of drawers bulged and clothes poked out at the edges. The place was cosy, comfortable and space was at a premium, but it wasn't claustrophobic and felt vaguely homely. One end of the room was taken up a large bed raised up on a platform, in fact, you had to go up a couple of steps to climb onto it. I just pottered about aimlessly looking at books on shelves, music and movie collections, not taking much in but doing just enough to keep myself occupied. I heard the bathroom lock click as she opened the door but pretended to be preoccupied perusing through her stuff, my back was to her and I blushed again and bit my lower lip to steady my racing mind.

"You want a beer? I got cola as well?"

"A beer sounds good."

"You know you can take your jacket off, just relax."

Alcohol sounded like a good idea I needed something to calm the nerves and if there was going to be a performance on my part I needed something to take the edge off the excitement that was buzzing through every ounce of my body. I turned around as she was pottering around the kitchen and slipped off my jacket and folded it neatly over the back of a chair. She came back holding a couple of bottles; she was taller than I had anticipated with her heels off, up close she stood a good four inches or so taller than me. She wore a patterned knee length pencil skirt that stretched out over her broad hips and her large bust filled her top. Her broad Rubenesque frame coupled with her height made me feel small against her despite my strong, stocky frame. My eyes probably lingered a little longer than I meant them to and she laughed as I finally made eye contact, by this point my cock was straining in my pants and I was thankful my shirt hung low enough to cover my excitement. She passed me the bottle and my body jolted as her fingers brushed mine and the cold glass slipped against my skin.

She led me over to the sofa and I sat down sinking in, my quivering body trying to relax as I folded my legs trying to hide my excitement. As she sat her skirt rode up a little exposing her knees and the lower portion of her pantyhose covered full thighs. I sank a little more and relaxed bringing the bottle to my lips and took a long audible gulp.

"Steady now, or I'll have to start charging for those."

"Sorry, drink too fast and think too slow."

I laughed, seemingly for the first time that evening and I felt more at ease as the coolness of the beer washed over me and stemmed my excitement. She put on some light background music, a smooth slow swaying jazz that carried on as we chatted away. I finished one beer and two more as we talked like old friends and soon I felt completely relaxed and slouched with a smile on my face.

"I got to piss this beer is running through me, mind if I use your bathroom?"

"You got to pee you got to pee, knock yourself out."

I made a mental note to put some toilet paper down first; I didn't want to be as audible. I finished up and helped myself to some mouthwash. As I left the bathroom the apartment was noticeably darker; she'd turned the lights down with one bright lamp shining from behind the sofa. She was no longer slumped back into the sofa and was sat more upright sipping away on a glass of red wine.

"Am I going to get one of those too?"

"Stand here."

Her tone was stricter as she pointed to a spot a few feet in front of the sofa; I was confused and pondered for a moment.

"Stand there, now!"

Her tone was firmer this time and her words hissed at me, my stomach knotted, but I moved swiftly to the spot standing with my arms at my side. The lamp shone directly in my face and my eyes cast down on the floor and I blushed.

"Now be a good boy and take off your clothes."

My hands moved in slow motion and with trepidation my fingers started fumbling at the top button of my shirt.

"Look me in the eyes."

My gaze moved up to meet hers; her dazzling green eyes transfixed on me. Her piercing gaze hardened by the harsh light that framed her face blurring her outline. The room felt colder and I lightly quivered as I slowly undid each button, until finally the sides of my shirt fell away and my chest and abdomen were exposed.

I let my shirt fall off my broad shoulders and clumsily wriggled my arms out, letting it fall, a tangled mess at my feet. The corners of her mouth curled and she smirked at me.

"Be a good boy and fold it neatly."

I got down on my knees and carefully folded the shirt and placed it squarely in front of me. Her gaze softened as she nodded approvingly. I stood and with a bit more grace I unclasped my belt and slowly slid it out, then rolled it tight and placed it next to my shirt.

"You learn fast, let's see if you can keep that up."

My fingers lingered at the button on my jeans, but I remembered my socks and removed them with the same care as my other vestments. I slowly peeled my jeans away and then stood to attention once again, my stare returning hers, my clothes in a neat pile before me. Both my hands were lightly clasped at my front hiding my semi-erect state within my underwear. Goose pimples ran up and down the length of my body and the hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end.

"All of your clothes."

I blushed deeply and lightly gulped. My fingers hooked either side of my elasticated briefs and slowly stretched them over my now erect cock which lewdly sprung free and lightly twitched as it met the cooler air. I pulled the briefs down over my thighs and let them fall. Not once did I break eye contact, nor did I stoop down to fold them.

She beckoned me and stepped forward over the clothes as she stood to tower over me. She peered down, her eyes slowly wandering over me. She stepped forward as she raised her hands and lightly gripped my shoulders. Her skirt lightly brushed the head of my cock and I stifled a moan and gently bit my lower lip. The corners of her mouth showed simultaneous approval and admonishment of my reaction. She kept her grip and slowly turned me around to face away from her.

I felt the air move as she stepped away and I could palpate the beams of her gaze as once again she scanned my body. She came closer again; inches separated us and burning heat radiated from my core to my skin. She leaned forward and whispered in my ear.

"You've been stealing glances all night and your eyes have lingered at times. You like what you see, don't you?"

I nodded slowly in approval like a little child. Her hands gripped my shoulders again only this time more tightly, and she spun me around vigorously, leaving my head to spin momentarily.

"Speak up; I can't hear you!"

"Yes miss, I adore what I see."

The harshness in her gaze softened momentarily to show some warmth and her hands fell from my shoulders. She turned in an effortless motion and sauntered back towards the sofa. Her hands moved to her hips and she lightly leaned forward pushing her derriere out towards me. She gently extended her hand out towards me; I instinctively stepped forward to take her grasp, interlocking the fingers of my smaller hand in hers.

"You have soft girlish hands."

The embarrassment spread across my face, but her kindly tone showed no sign of dissatisfaction. She led me by the hand and over to the bed, where she lay me down and pulled a blindfold from under the pillow. She lightly placed it over my eyes; I raised my head to allow her to secure it. She expertly tied it so as to obscure any traces of light without it being too tight.

"No peeking now, you've been such a good boy so far."

I lay motionless as I listened to her unzipping her skirt and slowly disrobing. No doubt she didn't take the same care to fold her clothes as she had made me. I felt the bed slowly give towards my side as she knelt down on it. I lay there in anticipation of her touch. She pushed my legs together and straddled me; her knees either side as she pushed her bum and weight back onto my thighs.

Her skin was cool, soft and luxurious and my cock twitched at her touch. I felt the heat of her sex burning like a furnace at the tops of my thighs and I reached out to touch her. She caught my hand's mid-air, wrapping her hands tightly around my wrists. She leaned forward and pinned them down either side of my head her weight firmly anchoring me down.

"I didn't say you could touch!"

I didn't struggle or panic, I just lay there, my head spinning as her perfume filled the air. My senses overwhelmed as her heavy breasts pushed up against my chest, her erect nipples burrowing into me. She must have sensed that I was close.

"Not yet, you're not allowed to."

And so we lay there motionless my heart pounding in my chest, I was certain she could feel it.

"Just breath."

Gradually I relaxed and let my chest rise and fall rhythmically. I grew accustomed to her atop me and all the tension left me and my wrists slackened in her grip.

She slowly let go and pulled away from me, she ran her fingers through my hair and lightly pulled on it. Then down her fingers went ever so softly on my face, either side of my neck and over my shoulders. I groaned as I drew my shoulder blades together, but her hands continued to roam across my chest and down my naval towards my pelvis. Her fingers stroked along the creases where my legs met my torso and her fingertips traced a circle around my groin without ever touching my cock. Her hands retreated and I felt her weight lift ever so slightly off my thighs.

"I'm going to take this off, but you have to keep your eyes closed until I say you can open them, do you understand?"

She untied the blindfold and my eyes stayed firmly shut. I felt as she lifted off me and stood, her feet either side of my waist. She gave me permission for me to open my eyes, I hesitated momentarily and then let them open.

There she stood proudly astride me, a self-assured smile on her face. She loomed above me in the dim light; her hands stretched up above her head touching the ceiling. I gazed up at perfection, and she gazed down at me.

My eyes could not help but stray over her body. My hands ached to touch her soft unblemished skin, to follow the gentle undulating curves of her outline and hold her full pendulous breasts that lightly sagged under their weight. She had lovely dark areolae that juxtaposed nicely against her pale skin. Her belly was full, but not too full and was rounded and I could ascertain the light appearance of stretch marks past. Her hips were broad and enticing, her thighs thick and luscious. I could only lie there and dream of the full ample derriere hidden from my view. And there in plain sight I could see a full dark neatly kept bush between her legs, the hairs matted by her wetness and her full pink lips salaciously poking out, glistening in the light. My hands wanted to explore every inch of her but with every ounce of determination I kept them pinned to the bed either side of my head.

I peered down my body; my cock was pulsing and erect, the head was glistening with pre-cum which had started to trickle down the side of my shaft. Surprised even more so because I rarely ever produce pre-cum, let alone to such a level. My hands may have stayed firmly put, but my body arched up uncontrollably towards her, my cock piloting me to where it wanted to be. She put on a sly grin as she raised her foot and placed it flat on my stomach. Slowly and deliberately she pushed me back down till I was flat on the bed once again, with no doubt as to who was in charge. She stepped forward over me and my gaze fell directly between her legs, my eyes tracing up her calves and thighs to her nether regions. She knelt down, her hands slowly stepping down the wall to steady herself. Soon she was crouched above me her legs akimbo either side of my head. She was inches from my face and I could feel her heat, my nostrils flared as her musky scent permeated the air. I was overwhelmed by her and all my senses were working overtime to keep up. I wanted to stick my tongue out and taste her, but the voice in my head warned me not to.