Saudades

"Finally." Mimi wedged her book into her bag then kissed Sven on the cheek. "What happened?"

"Sorry. The presentation went over. I left Mark and the new intern to finish up. I just hope they like it." He pulled his jacket off and sank down next to her, kissing Mimi on the mouth. "Did you order yet?"

"Nope, I was waiting for you. I think the bartender thought I'd been stood up." She laughed, taking a sip of wine. "He kept grinning at me."

"Really?" Sven raised an eyebrow, looked over at the bar. "Huh." He shrugged and picked up the beer in front of him.

"Come on." Mimi laughed, rubbing his arm. "Don't get pouty on me, I'm sure he meant nothing by it."

"Yeah, I know." Sven shrugged again, a grin curling upwards, "I know."

"I'm a big girl, I can look after myself. You've nothing to worry about." She nudged his foot under the table. "You're ridiculous."

Sven rolled his eyes, "You're going to laugh at that all night, now, aren't you?"

Mimi nodded curtly, "Yup."

Despite himself, Sven laughed again and cracked open the menu. "Ooh, this looks good."

"Well, don't get too comfortable with it because I'm picking your dinner tonight."

"What?" Sven looked up at Mimi who was calmly perusing the menu. "Oh, I, um...oh." He nodded and conceding, pushed the thick card onto the table. "Okay then."

Mimi smiled, "Don't worry. I shan't pick you anything you hate." She flipped a page, " I just think that you need reminding sometimes that you need to calm down."

Sven smiled, touched, "Thank you. I-no, ugh-you're right. I need this. I need to switch off."

Mimi nodded, "It's been a long day." She curled her hand into his and smiled, "I want this dynamic as part of our relationship, our time together more and more," she explained, "And I know you mentioned the last time we played that you were coming to depend on it more, too. It just seems obvious, natural, you know? I want to show you every day that I love you." She kissed his hand. "Plus, I have had the shittest day ever hefting boxes around that office and when we get home I want you begging and pleading so I can fuck you senseless, okay?" She took another gulp of wine and gestured to the waiter.

Sven laughed, the tension melting away. Faster than he'd expected he found himself glowing; calm and happy and glad that Mimi was doing this. "I think I can manage that." He said.

On cue, the same waiter from earlier came over, eyeing them warmly.

"What can I get you?" He directed the question at both of them and in response, Sven nodded to Mimi.

"We'll both have the garden salad," she began, "Steak for him, with sautee potatoes, rare, and I'll have the chicken, no sauce, but with vegetables, no potatoes."

The waiter scrawled down the order and nodded, "Of course."

"Definitely gave me the side eye." Sven said, grabbing a handful of nuts from a dish in the centre of the table. "But anyway, I think I'm going to like this a bit too much." He blushed, gesturing towards her.

"Good." Mimi smiled and nodded toward his hand, "but put down the nuts."

"What?"

"Put the nuts back in the dish, baby. You know that you should never eat nuts you get in bars and restaurants. Terribly unhygienic."

"Why would they put them there then?" he grinned, devious, crunching loudly. "Huh?"

"Do what I say. Stop being frisky, come on." Mimi tapped the edge of the plate.

"Fine." Sven said, the nuts tinkling back into the dish. "There."

"Good. Don't want you getting sick." She said, her fingers locking into his again, "And also because I can say thinks and you'll do them. What's not to love?" she shrugged, refilling her water glass and then Sven's.

"When did you decide this?" he asked, swishing his beer around the glass. "Has this been on your mind long?"

"I've thought about it." She explained, "But then at about lunchtime today, I realised that I was tired and having a crappy day." She pouted melodramatically, "and I just wanted you. Nothing elaborate, just as my giant pillow to lean on while I hid under the duvet 'till Monday, just breathing you in. Then I remembered you were presenting this afternoon and thought how tired you'd be." She smiled, "See it as self-care, pet. For both of us."

Sven nodded, "It's like you can read my mind." He admitted, "I never thought I'd have this and you...you just keep getting better."

Mimi nodded, "You're not the only one, boy." She laughed, taking a gulp of wine. "I'm going to have trouble concentrating on the food, I think."

"Oh really?" Sven raised an eyebrow, "Might have trouble walking tomorrow too by the way this is going." He scoffed.

"Ha." Mimi threw her head back, shrugged, "Doesn't matter; It's Saturday tomorrow so I can stay in bed and send you out on errands. I'll stay in bed all day if I feel like it. And you can always kiss it better." She winked.

"You have got to stop this." Sven sighed, mock derision in his voice. "You're terrible."

"Why?" Mimi winked, "Having trouble concentrating?"

He shrugged, "Well, there's that but also, our food is coming."

Mimi grinned, "Good, I'm starving."

"So, am I allowed coffee then?" Sven asked, draining his glass.

"I was going to say no but maybe I'll let you." Mimi was pulling the flesh from a piece of orange, "Why don't you call the waiter over and find out."

Sven laughed, "Hang on, I'm beeping." He pulled his phone from his pocket and sighed. "Fuck."

"What?" Mimi dropped the rind into her dish, "What's up?"

"I have to go back to work. Shit." His hand fell flat onto the table, a little too hard. A woman at the next table looked up. "They hated it apparently, think it's too parochial." He made quote marks in the air with his fingers and sighed, his brow creasing. "I'm so sorry." He squeezed Mimi's hand tight. "I will be back as soon as I can and I swear, all of tomorrow I'm yours I just have to fix this."

Mimi sighed, nodded, a rueful smile crossing her lips. "I know. You go, it couldn't be helped." She sighed and kissed him on the cheek. "Why do toilet paper companies even need to advertise, anyway? Who doesn't use toilet paper?"

Sven laughed, "They want an edgier jingle. I have to go." He stood and slid a couple of notes across the table. "Here. It's my turn, I think."

"Yeah." Mimi smiled, "It is. Don't worry about this." Her hand flipped in front of her like a trapped bird, "Just one of those things."

"You're too good." Sven kissed her on the mouth and pulled her up, close to him. "Get a cab, go home. Don't wait up for me."

Mimi nodded, "I'll keep one eye open. Now go, toilet paper needs you."

Mimi watched him leave and gestured to the waiter for the bill and asked him to call her a cab that she took all the way back to Fforde Street. The wind whipped her coat against the backs of her legs and, not wanting to wait, she handed the driver the last note she had, telling him to keep the change.

She rode up to the fifth floor, comforted by the familiar smell of cigarettes and cleaning fluid that always lingered in the hallway. Once inside, she made herself coffee and walked straight to bed, pulling her clothes off as she went leaving her cardigan over the back of the sofa and her shoes under the coffee table. Her dress pooled around her feet at the foot of the bed and her bra was exchanged for a too big t-shirt. Mimi wriggled under the sheets and started on chapter two of Love In A Cold Climate. By eleven thirty she gave up waiting and tried to sleep, her coffee cold on the night-stand.

The sound of the front door snicking shut woke her up. It was 1:30 AM. Well, that night's over. She thought, annoyed that she was so dejected by it. It wasn't something that could have been helped. The space between the floor and the door illuminated, sending a wedge of light across the floorboards and then, vanished as Sven shut the door to the bathroom.

He eyed himself in the mirror and grimaced and then, sighed at his reflection. At least the job was done. He mused. For good, this time. He turned on the shower as hot as it would go and stepped under it, rubbing away the tension that seemed to exist as a tangible film over him, ran his fingers through his hair and finally, rinsed the soap off himself. He grabbed a towel and stepped out, aching for sleep and Mimi next to him.

He tried to be as quiet as he could, getting into bed, but before he could lie out Mimi spoke.

"You're back." She said, her voice a whisper in the dark. "Successful?" she asked.

"I think so." He answered, "Have you been awake all this time?" His voice was tinged with concern.

"Don't worry. You woke me when you came in. I heard you showering." She turned over and watched his face in the dark. "Oh," she smiled, "Collar."

Sven nodded, thumbing the thin band of leather, the metal tag. "It was going to be a surprise for the morning. I was going to make you an apologetic breakfast and be as pouty and coquettish as I could manage." He grinned in the dark.

Mimi laughed, her fingers curling underneath the leather, muscle memory springing into life, "You are too cute."

Sven shrugged, "It's for me as much as it is for you." He said, "I feel safer somehow, when I wear this, it's like I'm taken somewhere else."

Mimi smiled, her hand moving from his collar, settling on his belly.

"That's crazy isn't it?" he said, his gestures mirroring hers, his palm resting on her hip. "Wanting to play games like this when I'm a grown man."

Mimi smiled, the same rueful look she'd given him in the restaurant. "You're forgetting," she said, "It's not a game. It's not crazy." She kissed his chest, "And sometimes, we have to be a little crazy to stay sane, you know that?" She moved upward kissing him on the mouth, harder this time. "You know this is more than just a collar." She rubbed his belly and curled her arms around him.

"Always so full of advice." Sven kissed her forehead. "Are you tired now?" he asked, his fingers running over her thigh in tiny languid circles.

She shook her head, smiling, excitement replacing sleep. "No."

"Well then." He curled his arm around her and laughing, kissed her cheek. "That ma-"

"I know." She purred, her hands reaching downward, pulling his boxers off, "makes two of us." She kissed him deeply, muffling laughter, "I can tell." She threw his boxers to the side and her hands worked around his hardening cock in the dark, "Getting so close to having you to myself." She said, the words seeping through the spaces between kisses, "And then having it stolen away has just made it worse."

"I know. I know. Please just -- ow." His laughter mingled with a low whine of pain. "That hurt."

"Good." Mimi sat up and landed a punch to his chest, "I like it when you whine like this." Her other hand worked between his legs, teasing the very tip of his cock to life, listening to his breathing get jagged in the shadows. "And it's so easy." She said, "No need for fancy toys or metres of rope." The hand that was between his legs squeezed his balls at the same time her other hand grabbed a nipple. The air hissed between his teeth. "I just need you." She breathed, "And I know you want it, I know you want to make me happy so really," she bent forward and kissed him on the mouth. "You're a very easy mark, indeed."

Beneath her he moaned, her lips and hands were not enough; he wanted all of her then, to leave the world behind and be consumed by her; her smell, her touch, her taste, like oranges and summertime and coming home, he wanted all of her. Every time, she overwhelmed him and every time he was stunned that it happened.

"Come here," she leant over him and moved, straddling him in the dark. Sven reached out to flip the light on and she stopped him.

"Nope." She said, "Stay in the dark. It's less distracting."

On cue, his hand moved away and she pulled her t-shirt off and lay out next to him. "Finger me first. Not all the way. I'll tell you when to stop."

He nodded, his hand edging into her underwear. Mimi pulled them off and flung them into the dark, her breath caught in her throat as he moved, spread out on his belly, his fingers working in small, circular movements, tantalisingly slow.

"That face you make." His breath skittered across her cheek, "You look so pretty."

"Hm?" her eyes opened and she smiled, distracted by the tiny waves he was pushing through her. "Oh."

"It's one of the only times you're not self conscious." He kissed her shoulder, "I like that. So much."

She sighed, the breath pouring into the dark, and twisted her fingers into his thigh. "There." She said, "Oh God, yeah. More. Harder."

Sven pushed his fingers into her and curled upward, feeling his fingertips push against the yielding flesh. He sighed heavily, feeling the ache in his chest shiver and radiate through him, as though the need was a tangible thing, ready to split his flesh. "Please." He breathed, "I need you."

"I know." Mimi said, reaching up, cupping his face. "Come here then." She pulled him nearer, her hand running over his back. She twisted upward onto her arm and pushed forward to meet his body in the dark, her hand guiding his hip.

He mewled as he entered her, obscenities trickling across the tender curve of her neck. Her fingers wound into his hair and she pulled him into her, her hand flung around his waist.

"Just what I needed." She smiled, her fingers trailing down his cheek, resting on his shoulder as they moved together, comforted.

"I know." He smiled and kissed her again, his hands curling into her hair. She gasped and he moved slower, then stopped, peppering her face with kisses. Mimi laughed, then bit his lip, bucking forward.

"Come on." She curled her fingers under his collar, hugging him close. "A little faster, please, sweetheart."

He nuzzled her neck and then leant on his arms, "As you wish." He upped the rhythm and she let every move ricochet through her, her head rolling back, balancing on her arms as he pushed against her.

"Babe, yes. Oh, oh." Sigh ran through her and Mimi threw her arm around his neck, urging him on with whispered obscenities and sweetnesses, telling him just who he belonged to and how much she adored him. Sven grunted in response, moving faster and then, his eyes flying open, he slowed.

"Oh," the words came between breaths, kisses skittering over her flesh, "going to come-I-"

"Then do it." Mimi purred, her nails pushing into him, "Come, do it."

Sven pushed harder, moving quicker and then sower, alternating in zig-zagging, reticent thrusts until he shook against her in the dark, his mind blissfully blank, his hands curled into the sheets. Inevitably, Mimi kept moving, spreading her legs wider and pushing her fingers against her clit. She urged herself on, focusing on the satisfaction of his weight against her and the way he smelt. The feint sound of the metal of his collar clinking as he moved, the way his breathing got more ragged as she kept moving.

Her orgasm came suddenly, with no tightening of the belly or the slow smoulder that she was used to, pulling through her in a flash of crackling nerves and sudden shivers. Everything darkened, stunning her into silence, her eyes twisting shut. Finally, she fell limp beneath him, breathing hard and he moved, sitting backwards, rubbing her thighs.

"Oh." Her eyes widened in the dark and she remained quiet. Sven laughed.

"Good?" he kissed her shoulder, swinging out of the bed and fumbling for a towel in the dark. "Here." He gestured toward her with the towel.

"That was insane." Mimi smiled, "that never...that never usually happens."

Sven wiped her body gently and kissed her again. "What?" he looked concerned, "You mean you don't come?"

"No." Mimi shook her head, "I do but...that was....everything else is good but that," the breath escaped her lips and she curled next to him. "That was so good."

"You?" she looked up at him, her arm draped over his waist. "Hm?" Mimi curled her leg over his and kissed him again.

"Perfect." He smiled. "Can't complain."

"Good. Sleep now, hm?" She asked, lying against him.

Sven yawned, "Something like that." He pressed his face into her hair and rubbed her bottom. "Falling asleep so soon."

Mimi laughed in the dark and mewled happily. "Hmm."

"I love how you feel against me." She whispered. "Maybe my favourite bit, this is."

"Really?" he sounded incredulous, his tone knotted with sleepy laughter.

"Hmm." Mimi rubbed his belly. "Maybe. I like it when I'm curled up next to you and we're all tangled together, the rain going on outside."

"Sweet dreams, kitten." Sven kissed her hair and pulled the blankets over them. "Just as you like it."

Mimi purred in the dark. "Love you." She said, her mouth brushing his. "In the morning, you can do that again."