Author's note:
This really won't make much sense at all unless you've read Party Bondage 2, which will make more sense if you've read Party Bondage, so I really do suggest that you read that first.
This has a bit more explicit and up-front character development in it than I normally bother with, and it's there for two reasons: I'm starting to care more about Sarah, and; some feedback I've received has told me that I need to clarify the situation and the personalities and relationships a little more.
Don't worry, there's some very dirty sex coming later on!
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My second party took me a while to recover from.
I spent all of Saturday unsettled, trying to relax on my weekend off and failing miserably. There's enough extrovert in my personality that, once I had accepted that I could turn up to a swinger's party and let everyone know that I was there for the same reason they were, putting on a good show wasn't too big a stretch for me. Hell, I could probably be a pole-dancer if I were a bit fitter and more desperate for money.
But I felt used. I have sex because It's really, really enjoyable, but no matter how hard I came on that table, I still felt like a piece of meat that they had been nice to. Knowing how much of a self-confessed whore Suzanne was didn't help either - lying next to her, having the same things happen, didn't sit well with me once I had calmed down and thought about it.
I didn't want to speak to anyone all day, but by Sunday morning I did. I was up and dressed and the Gaggia was already hot by the time Catherine dropped by. She gave me her usual greeting, was sprawled on one of my kitchen chairs by the time I had closed the door and walked back up my hallway, and raised her eyebrows at my manner.
She even waited until I had made us coffee, instead of trying to talk over the vibrating, rumbling, rattling old beast of an espresso maker.
"What's up?" She asked, as soon as she had taken her ritual first sip and given her ritual, grateful nod of approval.
"Friday night. I'm not sure I'm happy with where I went."
She nodded and took another sip of coffee. "Are you mad at me for what I did?"
"Not sure yet."
"I was wondering about that. Sarah, you know I love you, and you know that I say everything for a reason - you may not have been ready. Let me guess: You're thinking 'I'm not a slut like that Suzanne, how dare they just use me like that?' Am I right?"
"A little."
"Of course you are. Because you're not used to the scene, and you haven't seen anything like that before in real life. Let me stress that 'Real life' part. Do you know what the first rule of BDSM is?"
"I have no idea."
"Respect, and permission, and choice. You remember those three couples you met? The naked girl kneeling on the floor is an office manager. She can directly fire seven people, and she likes being shown off because it makes her feel good to have people admire her body, and to let somebody else make all the decisions. If you touched her without permission, her owner would break your fingers. The chair? He runs an entire company. He comes home at the end of the day, head hurting from responsibility and trying to not fire anyone the way the world's going, and he gets to relax and say "Yes, Mistress" to his wife and not care about anything until he gets in his car the next morning. The pony girl has just always wanted to be a horse - no idea why.
"Look, Sarah, the point is that if you had said 'No, stop!' at any point, you would have been dressed and in a chair before your mouth had shut. I don't run 'anything goes' parties, I run 'anything may go' parties. Look, I've been shackled on hands and knees and sucking every cock in the room while being spanked and told what a nasty whore I am. It makes me feel good to let go occasionally."
"Should I be worried that that image didn't make me cringe?"
"Honey, the best way to approach the world is to go far enough to know where your limits are, and then remember them. If spanking isn't for you, nobody is going to spank you. If you are having trouble grappling with the idea that somewhere inside you there may be a sexually liberated woman saying 'Sex? Hell yeah, bring it on!', then my advice is to give her a good spanking and tell her who's boss. Next time, don't get laid out, lay them out."
She finished her coffee while my mind was trying to work out where her metaphors had been going, and took refuge in the fairly automatic process of refilling it.
I sat down again, and leaned forwards with a calculated air of being about to speak. Catherine let me.
"Look, Catherine," I said. "You know I love you, and respect you, and know just how much experience you've got but... Honey, none of that sunk in. What the hell are you talking about?"
Catherine gave me a hard look, and ignored her fresh coffee. She leaned forward. "You," she said, quietly and with a touch of compassion in her voice, "Need to get to know yourself a little better. I don't want you spending the next few years slowly getting to terms with what's inside you. I think you need a private party."
I was speechless for a second, then: "How the fuck is that supposed to help?"
"Darling, consider it a therapy session. You get to play around as and how you wish, no pressure, just fun. Me, James, Suzanne'll be here for another week, so we can give her a going-away present next Friday if you're comfortable with her... We'll need another two men. I'll get Clay, and I'll borrow a sub. How's that?
I sat back and stared at her, properly speechless, until she raised an eyebrow at me and said "Well?" in a meaningful tone of voice.
I finally found mine. "Can I get back to you?" I asked, slightly squeaky.
She shrugged, and picked up her mug. "Sure. Just let me know by Tuesday. Give me time to plan a few things."
She stayed to chat about everything but anything to do with sex for another half hour, and I was feeling mostly human by the time she left. Then I rang Clay.
#
I had only seen Clay once since the first party, and although he had made me promise to go to the second, he had been sick for the night and hadn't turned up to take his turn on me.
He felt a little safer than Catherine, who had fucked me with a strap-on while I had a cock down my throat, and he was intelligent and less forthright than Catherine, as well.
We met at a local cafe, and he refused to not shout me lunch.
As he was rather better paid than I, I didn't argue for too long.
My chicken Caesar salad was fancy enough to be slightly poncy, but delicious. His turkey focaccia was pretentious, but also delicious. I let him choose wine, so long as it wasn't white (white wine gives me all the symptoms of hyperglycemia. Red wine or rose doesn't. Don't ask me why, my doctor doesn't know), and he found us an extremely nice, and local, organic rose with a pleasingly crisp, honeyed palate.
I chatted inconsequentially for several mouthfuls, but I can read people well enough to know that I wasn't fooling anyone. He, being a gentleman, waited.
"... which nearly drove me mad, because it was pure, uncaring incompetence. Plain and simple. Which I had to clean up, instead of getting back to my clients, one of whom was approaching crisis. So, well, Catherine wants to teach me about myself by having a private party and inviting you."
He took the huge sideways shift in subject in his stride, swallowing his mouthful before replying. "I won't try and pretend I didn't get chapter and verse on Friday night from our beloved mutual friend," he said. "I take it that you're not sure if you want to speak to anyone ever again, or undress with the lights on."
"Fucking stop that!"
"Stop what?" he asked around his wine glass.
"Stop being so fucking insightful! How do you know that?"
"The same way Catherine guessed it before she rang me yesterday, I'm guessing," he continued, his attention on his foccacia for a moment, "Because we've been there, been through it, remember what it was like, and recognise it in others."
He took the sting out of revealing that they had been talking about me behind my back, and before I had unloaded on Catherine, by asking "Have you ever been given the 'We care about you, deal with it' speech?"
"Once or twice," I said cautiously, not sure whether I was going to be wary of him, and self-consciously not taking a drink in case it looked defensive.
He topped up my glass, which was only a third empty, before saying anything else. "Look, Catherine's a lot less scary than she seems. You already know that, but I'm guessing that you haven't met Mistress Catherine before. There's also a slave Catherine, who's much more fun in my opinion, but that's another story. If you let her look after you, she will. And I'd be honoured to help."
I took a very deliberate drink before replying, keeping my eyes firmly on his. "Okay. You ring Catherine and tell her to organise it for next Friday, and I'm sorry I'm pushing into their private time. But I won't be drinking. I don't care if I wasn't drunk for either party, I won't be drinking."
"Check."
"Good."
"You're welcome."
"Shut up."
He gave a semi-courtly hand-wave bow of his head in acknowledgement.
"What are you doing for the rest of the afternoon?"
He pushed his plate away and leaned back to stretch, taking his glass with him. "I have nothing planned except inconsequentialities."
"Would you like to come back to my place?"
"I would be honoured."
"I'm on top."
"Whatever you say, mistress."
"Excuse me?"
"Whatever you say, Mistress."
"Good boy."