Just for the usual disclaimer yes everyone in here is over the age of 18. Yes it happened, and yes it still happens today depending on who is acting up.
This little episode happened because I could not quit complaining over wanting to go watch the baseball game in town. It was to be four teams playing in a tournament and I wanted to go watch them. Much to my disgust my friend Jo had to take the car to town for some stupid meeting that I could care less about. It was not part of her job just something that she volunteers for so that grated me beyond words. I only happened to have one vehicle at the time and hers was in the shop so there I am sitting out in the yard looking at the lights from the field 7 miles away.
When Jo got to my house around 9 my mood had not improved and she knew it probably hadn't. She got out of the car and saw me sitting out in the yard and asked what I was doing. Of course being my typical smart assed self I told her I was watching the ballgames. She then looked at me and asked if I even knew who was playing. I told her that at least our home team was playing and besides that I didn't know or really care who was playing I just knew that there were games in town and I wanted to watch them.
Tired of my sorry ass attitude Jo went into my house and told me on her way that the way I was acting I should be turned over someone's knee and spanked. If she had half a mind she would do it right out in the front yard so anyone who went by could watch. I of course told her that wasn't going to be a problem and she asked why. Of course my shut up filter again chose to not work and I told her that she didn't have half a mind so she wouldn't have to worry about it.
Let's just say it was the wrong thing to say at the time or probably anytime for that matter. She said, "I will be right back since I am going to find something to beat your sorry ass and you will be lucky if I don't shove something up your ass since it is the only thing you have left to talk with that makes any sense and if I plug it I won't have to listen to it either." I knew that I had pissed her off at that point.
Jo went into the house and made a phone call to see who was playing games in town. I did not get home until after any traffic for the games had gone through or busses for that matter or I would have known who was playing. You see we live on a paved road that runs by our house and we also have a paved road that runs along the side of the house to the south. Pavement runs in three directions by our place. She found out that there were three teams traveling and all three team busses and fans would probably travel by our house on the way to the game and also on the way home.
Jo walked out the door with a bag that had items in it that I could not see but she told me that she would be right back and got in the car and left. When she got back about fifteen minutes later she asked if I was ready to take my punishment for being an ass. I really couldn't say too much since I had been and besides I get to possibly have sex with Jo if it works out right. So being male and not thinking I of course said go for it sweetheart. Jo and I have known each other for years and although she is married as well we get together and have a fling if the timing is right. I have turned her cute little ass several shades of red before when she was acting like a bitch so now you know why she was talking to me the way she was. She said in 15 minutes we are going to start and for every vehicle that goes by this house for the next 30 minutes I am going to spank your ass once. After the spanking is done I am going to shove something up your ass the same number of times that I am going to spank you.
I of course said, "Well that should not be a problem since there haven't been many cars by here tonight anyway. I also did not know at the time that when she made the phone call that she found out that they were in the last inning in one game and the other one was not far behind so they should all be leaving at about the same time. If I had known that at the time I might have kept my mouth shut but on second thought I would have said it anyway. Jo is a great friend and I trust her completely and she trusts me in the same way. I guess sometimes it is great to have a friend who will put up with you even when they should just tell you off and go home.
Jo looked at me and said, "Well this looks like a good spot for your spanking" and I just looked at her thinking she was nuts. We were in the front yard where anyone going by could see what was going on. Thankfully we were in the midst of a drought so there were not any mosquitoes or I would have gotten eaten alive. Jo went into the shed and got an Adirondack chair that was in there and set it on the ground and then turned it upside down. She then went into the camper and pulled one of the cushions from the dinette out and placed it over the upside down chair.
"Just what the hell are you doing?" I asked trying to figure out what she was up too.
Jo just looked at me and said, "Well I have placed this upside down so that you can lay over it while I beat your ass. You ass will be up towards the top with your chest and head laying over one side and your legs and feet over the other. Your sorry ass will be right where I want it."
I knew at that point I was going to get it especially when she grabbed a spreader bar out of her car. "What the hell are you up to?" I asked starting to get concerned. She told me I was going to have my legs spread that far apart and she was going to make sure I kept them that way and besides when it's time to ream your ass you will still be right where I want you.
I just stood and stared at what she was doing. She was serious and I decided too late to keep my mouth shut. She finally looked at me and told me to get naked and get on the chair. At that time I did notice that there were a couple more cars going by than there had been before which still didn't click yet in my brain. I took off all my clothes and laid over the thing like she asked and I felt her fasten the spreader bar between my ankles. I should have been a wonderful sight, buck naked, over a chair, with a spreader bar between my legs out in my own front yard.
The best thing about living in the country is people don't just look at your house when they drive by after dark. They can't see anything in the dark anyway. There was a light on the intersection across the road that was on and that provided enough light for Jo to see what she was doing. Jo looked at her watch and said, "We have two more minutes and then we will start. For every car that stops at the stop sign coming towards your house or goes either direction in front of the house you will get smacked."
She went on to say, "I expect you to count each one out loud for me as we go and if I don't hear it I will add ten to the last number I heard and we will go on from there you got me?"
Oh yeah I got her all right. Jo walked over to my car and pulled out a paddle that was made of wood. It wasn't really heavy but it did sting when you used it. The paddle was only about a half inch thick but being lighter made it easier to swing which in turn made it sting as well. "Well it's time to begin so here we go. Remember to count because I will be listening." Jo said as she walked behind me.
She had no more than got there when a car went by and I felt a "smack" on my ass. I counted out one and then another car and another which resulted in two more slaps to my ass. I counted them as she applied them and then she said, "Oh by the way the three towns that were playing tonight all live south and west of you so all those cars should be coming this way I am guessing. Remember the bridge south of town is out so unless they want to take the detour this is the fastest way to get where they are going." I could only groan in response since I knew I was in trouble. For the next thirty minutes I heard nothing but zoom, smack, zoom, smack, zoom, smack as the cars went by the house. In the first 15 minutes she was already up to 80 and my ass was on fire. Finally the traffic started to slow down and then it picked up again.
I could hear them coming again and then zoom, smack, zoom, smack, zoom, smack, zoom, smack. I didn't think it was going to end but finally Jo said, "Okay that's 30 minutes and you took 131 smacks on your ass and it is as red as a beat. I might have even hit a couple of home runs as well."
I just slumped over the chair exhausted from all the attention my ass had taken and now Jo walked around and lifted my head and said, "I hope you are ready because now I am going to ream yours ass 131 times so that you remember not to be an asshole all the time."
Jo walked over to my car and got out two pillows and walked over and smacked my ass causing me to raise my hips up as I groaned. "I wonder if I should count that one too."
I looked back and made a comment about the thirty minutes and that it had passed but I did not get smart about it. Jo had my hips propped up and then she walked over to my car and opened the door and while she stood there she peeled all her clothes off. She stepped into something I could not see and pulled it up. When I looked again she had the biggest cock I had ever seen strapped to the front of her and it was aiming right at me. "You have got to be kidding me there is no way that thing will fit up my ass woman."
"Oh well then you should have paid more attention to your smart assed mouth to begin with and you would have been fucking me instead of me fucking you. Now that you mention it my ass and pussy could use some attention."
With that Jo walked over in front of me and bent over and then backed her pussy and ass right up to my mouth and told me to get busy. "The wetter you make me the wetter I will make this cock before I shove it up your ass."
