I was practically begging Sandra to hit me.
“What do you mean you’re up for a promotion?” she asked. “Wh- what about me?”
“I don’t know about you,” I lied, copying citations, “but I can see why they would want to keep me at the firm.”
"Well... maybe we're both being made senior associates,” she said, but doubt was evident on her face. “We've done a lot of work together on this Beecham case."
I chuckled quietly, still pretending to be busy.
She set down the file she was carrying and crossed her arms. "Alice, do you know something I don't?"
I put down my pen, and looked at my watch. "How much time do you have?"
"What are you talking about?" Her eyes narrowed to slits. She was really getting upset now. "I practically taught you everything you know..."
"You taught me everything YOU know, and that didn't take very long."
"You little bitch!" She swelled up in anger, and then seemed to catch herself, shaking her head. "You're bullshitting me." She picked up the file again and started to leave my office.
"No, Sandra, I'm not. How long have you been here, in the same entry-level position?" She stopped again, in mid-step. "The reason they have us working together is probably so that I can replace you."
She dropped the file, and papers scattered on the floor. "If you say one more word..."
Trying to think of a way to provoke her, I remembered a discussion we had once, working late together as always. I had asked her if there were any men in her life.
"No, honey, no men. I'm not like you," she had said, sickly sweet. Not a little brown ho, you meant? "I was sort of wild in college, but now I don't have the time." She had looked a little wistful, at that.
That night, I had laughed. On the outside. "You mean you don't have any sex? Not at all?"
She had blushed. "Of course not. With who, Alice? Guys get intimidated when they find out I'm a corporate lawyer."
Remembering that conversation, watching her angry face as she tried to pick up the file, I said cheerfully, "Your sexual frustration is probably affecting your work.” That did it. She swung her open hand right at my face.
Sandra Cox had been at Watkins & Boyle for seven years now – five years more than me. Before I was hired, I had worked with her as a summer associate. She was white – I suppose that is important – and she was talking about me behind my back.
Being a woman of color, you always have to deal with this shit from some people. "She's only here because she's black - you know, the firm has an ‘aggressive’ hiring program.” That's what she was telling the other associates. She didn’t even get the specifics right – my mother was Filipina, my father black. Once, at the end of a 20-hour weekend of working together on a discovery project, I remarked about how, when I became partner, someone else would be working on Sunday evenings. In a that sickly sweet voice, she told me, "It may have been easy to get in, honey, but now that you're here, you're going to have to work hard."
Bitch. I could have slapped her. After that, I started to look at her. I mean,
really
look at her. Thirty-something, still doing shit work as a junior associate, afraid of computers, and probably not getting fucked properly. I mean, she was attractive enough. Shoulder length, chestnut brown hair, a little chunky in the hips and probably way out of shape, but with nice tits and skin. Mostly, she had that stuck up, repressed thing going that some women (and men) have that screams to the world, "Fuck me, for god's sake!"
So she swung at me. I guess I struck a nerve.
Sandra was bigger and taller than me, but she had flab on her. I heard her breathing heavily whenever she had to climb more than one flight of stairs. I, on the other hand, went to the gym a few times each week. I had younger brothers I used to wrestle all of the time. And my hair, cut short, was not a liability.
After I swatted her hand away, I grabbed her hair and pulled her head down to the floor. I put her in a headlock and let her struggle for a while, face down, on hands and knees, her plump ass wiggling in the air. Sandra was wearing her typical gray suit, with the jacket off, and a white blouse. The skirt was drawn tight around her hips, and brushed against the pantyhose she wore underneath. She was trying to elbow me, so I straddled her and pulled her arms up in a full nelson. Her cloying perfume filled my nostrils. Her face was right next to mine. As she kept bucking, her lower back rubbed against my inner thighs, giving me surprisingly pleasant sensations.
Sandra gasped, "Let me go, you crazy bitch! Get off me!"
"You're the one who took a swing at me," I said into her ear. The scent of perfume on her was becoming one of sweat, and panic.
She flew into a paroxysm of rage, trying to throw me off, but I wedged my shoulder under the desk and wouldn't let her up. It must have been a sight to see – a little woman like me holding her down. My thighs squeezed her ribs, pressing back against every heaving breath she took. Sandra paused, and then tried to shake me off a second time, grunting with the effort. Again she could not, and she lay there, panting.
"I'm sorry," she squeaked.
I rolled her over onto her back and straddled her again. She was flushed and still breathing hard.
"You could probably stay," I said. "If I told them I need you." I rubbed my chin, as if in thought. "Maybe as my temp legal assistant..."
Sandra hawked and spat right in my face.
"Oh," I said, grinning evilly. "You're gonna regret that." Wiping her phlegm off my mouth, I spun around, crouching over her face. She tried to twist away, but she was still short of breath. I took a handful of her hair and forced her onto her belly, clamping my knees around her head. Now I was facing her lower body. Her skirt was rucked up nearly to her crotch, exposing her legs as they kicked and squirmed uselessly. Every time she struggled, I squeezed her head. I reached for a statute book on the floor and yanked her skirt up over her ass. She wore regulation sky blue panties under her hose. With every word, I smacked her ass with the book.
"I. Am. Better. Than. You."
Sandra screamed in anger and shock, but as my thighs constricted her, her screams wilted into muffled gasps against the carpet.
"You. Will. Never. Spit. On. Me. Again."
"Please, stop!" she cried.