I've never been great with women. In High School, I never had a date to the prom, I've never had a girlfriend, and it seemed like no matter what I did, I could never find a girl interested in me. It always seemed like the cute girls went for the jerks, and the nice guys always get left behind. I guess you could say I got friendzoned early and never got out of it.
In college, I was hoping things would be different. It was my freshman year when I figured I'd have a blank slate. I was 18, and no one knew who I was, and better yet, there were plenty of other 18yr old girls breaking it off with their high school boyfriends.
Things weren't so simple. It had been a few months and it seemed like I had found myself right back with being "just friends" with every girl I met. Even Tina, the kind of girl that bounced around in a low-cut top and sat in the front row so professors could get a view, didn't want anything to do with me. She and I became good friends, because, as she has said, she feels like she can trust me and I'm not just hanging out with her for her looks. Though honestly, I'm not even sure I would know what to do with her if I had the chance.
"Listen, I'm sorry Jenny gave you cold shoulder last night," she said to me one day, sitting next to me in the cafeteria on Sunday morning.
"It's fine," I said. For once she was in a modest pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt, though I had seen her last night. She had her regular Saturday clothes on. Lots of cleavage up top, and a crazy short skirt over her legs. "Just one more rejection, right? I don't get it. I'm really nice, I'm not bad looking. I just keep striking out."
She gave me a look like she wanted to say something she shouldn't, but held it back. She thought for a second while she chewed on her low-grade college food. "Sorry, I'm so hung over. Ended up blowing these two guys after doing those everclear shots. Remind me never to do that again," she said, rolling her eyes. I gulped, imagining the situation. She looked at me defensively "don't worry, I didn't swallow," she said with a sigh.
I exhaled, only getting frustrated with hearing her Saturday night hijinks. "Well, that's a relief," I said, sarcastically.
"Ok, ok. You know what? I met this really cute girl at the party and she will be great for you!" she said excitedly.
"You're just telling me now?"
"I had a lot to drink last night. What was her name? Oh right, Lindsey. She was saying all night how she hates going out with those annoying jocks. I think you guys will be perfect."
I was just desperate enough that some girl Tina met at the party drunkenly was starting to sound like a great idea. Plus, that little bit about her wanting the nice guy instead of the jock-type was music to my ears. "Well...hook us up," I said, pressing it.
"Ok, you know, I think I will," Tina said with a smile. "Friend her on Facebook. Lindsey. She's really cute. Brunette. Big boobs. D cup I'm guessing. I know how you like big boobs," Tina said with a wink, eliciting a red face from me. "And I'll put in a good word, ok?"
I nodded, thinking, staring down at my plate. "That's great Tina. Thanks, I mean...really thanks."
Tina smiled. "Oh hang on, it's that guy I slept with last night. Don't let him see me" she said, hiding her face.
I friended Lindsey just as she advised, and she was indeed very cute. Tall, thin, brown hair. I was paging through a few of her photos after she accepted my request, and she was definitely hiding a nice rack under her shirt. Fortunately, she didn't seem to be the flashy type. Talking to Tina more, Lindsey wasn't as "engaged" as Tina was with most of the guys at the party. I surmised that she had been dragged along by her friend, much as I had been to these obnoxious frat parties.
One day she messaged me back. I had asked her out on a date, and to my surprise she gave an enthusiastic yes. We were set for Saturday night.
I went wide-eyed when Tina stopped by my room Saturday afternoon, about an hour before I had to leave for my date with Lindsey. "That's not what you're wearing, is it?" she asked, hands on her hips in my doorway.
"That's not what you're wearing is it?" I said back to her, looking her up and down. She had a v-neck sweater on, and her boobs pushed together in between it. Long black boots and a tight micro-skirt. The look made me salivate, even though by this time you'd think I'd have gotten used to it. I just knew she was in for trouble tonight.
"Ok, ok, comeon. Clothes off. Let's get you into something decent," she said, coming over, undoing my shirt.
"I can do it. You're not my mom. Just give me some privacy. Turn around."
"Grow up. It's college. And trust me I've seen it all before," she said, helping me slip my shirt off. She looked my chest over and made a face. "You've got to start working out. No offense...anyway let's get these pants off," she added, reaching down to start undoing my belt.
"Hey! Let go," I said, startled.
"Hush, you cannot wear pleated khakis on a first date. What is this, your first recital?"
I was about to interject when I thought to myself that these pants might have indeed been worn to a recital or two. But I was interrupted by her tugging my pants down quickly. "Hey!" I said again, suddenly just in my boxers in front of her.
"Now lets' see," she said, looking through my clothes, clearly displeased with the selection. Finally, she found a button-down plaid shirt she liked and a pair of jeans. I wasn't in any position to disagree with the choice.
"Wait...why aren't you wearing these?" Tina asked, finding a pair of boxer-briefs I had.
"Oh I just wear those for working out," I explained.
"And you thought a pair of gray boxers were better?" she said, almost scolding me.
"Well...I don't know. Plus what does it matter?"
She gave me a look. "I can't believe this is what I have to work with. Get those off! Trust me, she's going to want to see your package squeezed into these."
"I thought you said she wasn't one of those girls," I said.
"Well, no but, you never know when you're going to get lucky. You don't want her stopping at these," she said.
I blushed and even got a little aroused at her attitude, talking about and looking down at my crotch. I looked down and looked back up to her. She got a mischievous look on her face and went over to pull my boxers down.
"Shit...hey!" I said, covering myself a little late.