The dining room was already set with a table for two. It wasn't fancy or overly adorned by any means, but it was certainly much better than the setups to which I had become accustomed. To my tired eyes, it was a banquet.
Had Etienne done this while I was dressing? It seemed to have taken a good portion of effort...I looked up at Him.
"Did You do this?"
His smile was gentle, almost teasing, and it was the only response I got to my question.
Etienne was quiet over breakfast. He ate, slowly, nowhere near as much or as fast as I did. Rather, He was more focused on watching me as I slowly ate the food in front of me. More than once, I looked up to find Him studying my face, my fingers, my mannerisms. It was as though He was trying to reeducate Himself regarding me, remembering the things He had perhaps forgotten in our time apart, and learn the new things that had transpired since then.
I, on the other hand, felt as though I hadn't eaten in months. Other than the food Etienne had given me the night before, I had eaten nothing but vile hospital food for an incredibly long time, and the sweetness of the fruit and the saltiness of the bacon on my tongue seemed to spark a ravenous hunger in me. I tried to eat slowly to avoid looking like a fool, but my hunger was making it difficult to keep from wolfing down the food on my plate and then asking for more.
And still, He watched me.
///
I had always compared this Man to a wolf in my head. There was something so feral about Him, so wild. It was more than just the low roar that snarled up in His chest when He was angry, or the growling purr of arousal or pleasure that rumbled from some hidden place within His core. It was more than His eyes that burned amber in the darkness or the way His body curled around mine while we slept.
It was that warrior streak. That devotion to His mate -- to me. The things that had driven Him to enlist in the first place. The night He told me what He was planning, I had sobbed into His chest and begged Him to change His mind. I was afraid, I said, afraid of losing Him to a sniper's bullet or an exploding trap hidden beneath sand and dirt.
Etienne had held me that night and let me cry out my fears in a flood. He never once questioned me or accused me of not being supportive. And as days passed and conversations took place, I understood more. It was His calling, His duty. He wouldn't have it any other way.
And I had wiped away my tears and held His hand. And He had signed on the dotted line.
And that dotted line had taken Him away from me.
///
The gentle sound of a clearing throat pulled me back into the present.
"You wandered again, Iz."
I felt my cheeks heating with a blush as I looked down at my plate, attempting to busy myself with eating the last few bites of pineapple and strawberry that still remained. I half-expected Him to scold me for looking down, but He said nothing about it until every scrap of food that I wanted was gone.
It was then that He reached up and gently lifted my chin so my eyes met His.
"I will clear the table. Help Me with the dishes?"
It was not an order. It was a request. The newness of being asked to help with a household chore instead of being barked a brutal order coupled with a slap or a jerk on my hair was difficult for my mine to comprehend. I blinked a bit to aid my comprehension, praying that I did not look like a simpleton.
Etienne did not linger at the table; instead, He gathered our dishes up into His broad hands, carefully stacking them with the silverware on top, and carried them down a small hallway off to the side. I watched His back as He left the room; had He always been so tall? The Man I remembered had been massive, powerful, and strong, indeed, but not quite to this extent.
Was He bigger, or was I just feeling smaller?
I gathered myself together, being careful to find my balance on the crutches before slowly hobbling after Him down the hall. I had used crutches before, especially in high school when I had injured myself after a particularly bad drop during a performance of "Swan Lake." I shook my head to clear away any lingering wants toward dancing again; barely twenty-three and my chances of rising on pointe again had already drifted away on the wind.
The kitchen was just as spacious as the rest of the house, and just as beautifully laid out. Stainless steel fixtures, dark wood cabinets, and smoothly polished stone counter-tops. The sink was framed on both sides by wide windows with filmy white curtains that currently brushed back and forth in the springtime breeze.
Etienne had already placed the dishes into the sink, which was filled to the brim with soapy water that steamed slightly. He held out a soft white dishtowel to me.
"I'll wash, and you can dry, My love."
I leaned against the counter and took the first wet dish He offered me. It became a ritual into which I easily fell: dry the dish and stack it with the others on the counter. The methodical repetition was soothing to me, as it always had been. There was something about the rush of the water, the cool drops that clung to my fingertips, even the clanking of flatware in the sink that made me...
CRASH.
I hadn't been paying attention. I had let my mind drift again. And the plate...it had just slipped...the pieces littered the bottom of the empty side of the sink.
Something inside my head snapped.
NOT! AGAIN!
My body launched backwards, desperation erasing the memory of my injured leg from me as I threw my weight fully onto the damaged limb in an effort to run. My back slammed into the floor as my crutches fell away in two different directions, my head cracking slightly against the island in the center of the room.
The blow to my head made me slightly dizzy, but I was too desperate to notice. I pushed myself backward across the floor, favouring my good leg until my back pressed against the still slightly warm stove. I couldn't go back any further; I had backed myself into a corner. I curled down against the floor, arms over my head, shaking so hard that I thought I might knock my own teeth out of my head. Someone was screaming, a woman's voice that wailed in the most horrifying sound of terror that I had ever heard.
Time wasn't moving at a normal speed. I closed my eyes and waited, waited for the blows to come raining down, for the familiar boot-thuds to make their way down the hall, for the hand to break me again.
They never came. The screaming started to fade, started to feel even further away until it stopped completely. I realized after a moment that my eyes were closed, and that the warmth against my back felt far more human than metallic.
I opened my eyes, slowly, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Two massive hands were wrapped around my body, holding me back against a large masculine form, slow fingers were caressing down my face and a soft humming voice was whispering words that I could not quite decipher at first.
Etienne was holding me. I looked up into His face, slowly. He was crying, something I had only seen Him do once before in my entire life, and His lips were forming the same words over and over again. Finally, I could understand what He was saying.
"I'm sorry. Iz, I'm so, so sorry...baby, I'm so sorry..."
I blinked through the haze that still wrapped itself around my mind. I shook my head.
"No...I dropped the plate...I broke the plate. It just slipped. I...I...."
He pressed a finger over my lips to keep me from continuing my babbling, frantic apologies.
"No. Oh, Isabeau, no. It was a mistake...it was a simple mistake."
His voice broke and He pulled me against His chest, wrapping His arms around me as though He was afraid that I was going to dematerialize and vanish into smoke right there. His chest shook as He drew a sob-laden breath, and I could feel His own brokenness soaking through my clothing and into our bodies, merging us into a moment of the most tragic intimacy I had ever experienced.
I had never been this weak in front of Him before.
It was the most overpowering blend of surrender and almost unbearable shame. I felt tears of my own starting to prick the back of my eyes and I bit hard at my lip until I tasted blood.
"Etienne, it wasn't Your fault. Don't be sorry. It was mine."
He pulled me into Him then, tucking my head beneath His chin as He cradled me against His body, soothing me with the gentlest caresses up and down my arms.
"No. Oh, little one. All of this is My fault. I should have found you sooner, I should have never left you in the first place. I should have never given him the chance to touch you, to break you like this. Oh, My darling girl, what has he done to you? What did I let him do to you?"
I shook my head, so bewildered.
"You? But You didn't do anything wrong...You didn't LET him hurt me, Etienne. It wasn't Your doing at all!"
He looked down into my eyes again; agony and shame were written there in stone.
"I swore to protect you. I swore to care for you. And then I left you...and he caught you instead, and he nearly..."
The words died on His tongue, as though they were far too bitter for Him to bear tasting again.
"I didn't protect you, Iz. What sort of Master does not protect His own? I didn't protect you..."