Pushing Limits

I know the last chapter was weird. You might enjoy it if you're one of the zero people out there interested what I'll discuss with my future therapist.

And yes, I should have written this in the preface to that story, but I forgot.

As always all characters are well over 18 and some things are sure to offend people but I warned you with tags, so really we're going to need to share the blame on that one. The weirdness continues...

*****

Securely restrained and gagged my mind is racing. Madame exposed my most petty insecurities, which are perfectly normal, by the way. It's not my fault I wasn't raised naked on a commune. Who does she think she is? And she's going to punish me on behalf of my own body? Sure, that's not crazy at all.

Even if you suspend reality and accept her insane premise that my body is a sentient being apart from me (seriously, they had to be smoking some magic shit when she came up with that) my body would love me, a feeling which is very mutual. Just because I acknowledge that unattainable air brushed standards exist doesn't mean I buy in to them. I'd totally fuck me. Heck, I would fall in love with me in a second. You know, if I wasn't already me.

Wow. Look what just raced through my head in the last few seconds as I'm restrained, ass up, and gagged giving Sir his fantasy. You'd think I'd be focused on the woman with the strap dangling from her hand just itching to apply it to my ass, but she's talking and I didn't hear a word she said.

Nor did I once stop to wonder what Sir was thinking in anticipation of my punishment, as I was too busy thinking about myself. She's right...I am selfish. I do hold back because I put my vanity ahead of serving him the way he deserves. I want to please him, as long as it doesn't upset my emotional equilibrium too much.

I need to surrender completely while maintaining control. Hard to believe that in my vanilla world I'm known for being annoyingly logical.

It's like I'm seeing myself for the first time, it's a catharsis from hell. My heart feels like it's pounding out of my chest and my mind goes blank, suddenly I'm wracked with sobs, crying so hard I can't breathe. Shaking uncontrollably, I collapse, only remaining upright due to the support bar my wrists are cuffed to.

Immediately they rush to me, Sir immediately releasing my restraints. Once freed I fall into his arms as he holds me tightly, stroking my hair, concern in his voice as he whispers, "It's okay, baby, I'm here."

Jeannette moved fast, wrapped me in a blanket and brought me a cup of tea. I'm clinging to Sir for what feels like dear life and he's still holding me like he's never going to let go. A palpable sense of safety and calm washes over me as my heart rate and breathing return to normal. Once the shaking stops, but for some residual trembling, I sit up ask for tissues.

Madame checked to make sure I was okay before leaving without another word.

"You did so beautifully! It takes most people a good 8-10 lashes to breakthrough, but you're clearly in the advanced class," Jeannette says clearly pleased.

Sir is not happy. "Get her clothes, now" he barks at Jeannette. To me he says, "It's okay kitten, I'm taking you home." He looks so worried but I'm...okay. Huh. I don't understand it either, but I really am. I somehow feel calmer and stronger. I don't think I've ever seen Sir look so confused. Madame and Jeanette are handling this as if it was expected, I seem to be fine now, and he has no idea what's going on.

"Here, drink this. You'll feel better." Jeannette says as she hands me my tea. What is with tea drinkers thinking it has healing properties?

"What the fuck just happened?" Sir asks, in a tone that is both gentle yet unequivocally demands an answer. I shrug not fully understanding it myself; Jeannette fills us in.

"Her shame and insecurities were like an abscess in her psyche. The confrontation and beating with the strap often cause cathartic breakdowns like this. The punishment gives a feeling of atonement and clears the negative energy. We've never seen it happen so quick, though. She must have a very highly developed sense of guilt to respond this strongly this fast. Is she a perfectionist in some areas of her life?"

I can tell by the slight smirk on Sir's face that he's thinking about sock drawer schematics and alphabetized groceries, but he keeps my weirdness to himself.

Madame, once again in her black robe, strides over and asks me tersely, "Are you ready to continue?"

I hesitate.

"Yes or no, I need an answer. You know the rules."

I really am okay, but tired, shaken and frankly nervous about what else is in store for me if I stay. I want to go home.

Then I look up at Sir and all I can think is what they said about my potential to attain deeper submission and being able to give Sir levels of pleasure I can't even imagine now. I don't buy into their belief system but something cathartic and very real happened back there, so maybe there is something therapeutic to this? Even if there isn't I don't want her thinking she broke me; I need to win this one.

My mind is made up, as long as he has no objection. "Yes. I'm ready to continue." As I get up and slip back into my heels I look at Sir, "Please?"

He grabs my wrist, "You don't have to do this."

His concern is palpable and strengthens my resolve to do this for him. "I know. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but something did and if there is even a small chance of this helping me learn to serve you better then I want to give you that. As long as it's okay with you."

"If you're sure, kitten, then you have my permission to continue. But if one more thing happens I won't wait for you to get dressed; I'll drag you naked to the car and take you home."

He knows very well the shivers he just sent through me with that remark.

"Thank you, Sir." I kiss his cheek and without another word return to accept my punishment. I stand straight with my legs apart, put my hands behind my back, and wait.

Jeannette fastens my restraints and positions my ass for Madame again, then I turn my head to accept my ball gag with a kind of proud resolve. "Good girl" said Madame. It was nice to know she was pleased, but I didn't feel the words on my skin like I do when Sir calls me that.

Speaking to someone just out of my line of vision, Madame says, "Come here. The slut cannot count her lashes while gagged. You will count for her."

I look up to see who else gets to witness my humiliation...Helga!?!

"Tell us Helga, what do you think of your old friend? How does she look?"

"As I told her Sir at the time, I think submissives like her look best in their ball gags."

"So she does." Madame agrees.

"Slut, Helga is under taking her own journey; learning to give dominance as well as receive it. Your paths crossing for a reason."

As she speaks she hands Helga something...it looks like harness? Black and a flash of pink...what is that? Oh fuck. it's a strap on. Looks like some of my resolve just wavered.

"You needed no help getting that on, are you sure you haven't done this before?" Mary asks as Helga puts it on.

"No Madame, but I've been on the receiving end many times and have observed how to properly fasten it." It not only has a dildo intended to violate me but one angled toward the wearer. She slips this inside herself and secures the straps. It's as if they're talking about how to adjust a thermostat, like she's not standing there nude but for a pair of 5" black heels, her customary garter belt and stockings...and a strap on she clearly intends to use.

All I can see is this huge rubber cock jutting from in front of her cunt. Which she's stroking in the most obscene manner. It's visually intimidating to see her rhythmically moving the dildo inside her as she moans quietly, which is wildly expressive for the ever-stoic Helga.

Those damn impenetrable eyes staring at me as I'm bent helpless, anxiously awaiting my punishment. I would give anything to see the look on Sir's face right now.

Mary addresses us all, "I will wield the strap. After each lash, I will ask her a question so we can learn more about what makes her the dirty little cumslut she is."

Now speaking directly to me, she continues "You will answer honestly by nodding your head for yes, shaking it for no. Then Helga will take the strap on to your cunt for 5 thrusts after which she will state something she wants to subject you to. Later I'll decide which of her requests I will allow. If she repeats herself we will start over."

So, if she makes a mistake, I get whipped and fucked longer? That's not fair...not that I'd dare say that aloud.

I didn't have to ..."I am not interested in what you think is fair, slut. You have the right to refuse. Do you wish to back out?"

I shake my head no.

"So, you want to get whipped and violated by a strap on dildo in front of your Sir, myself, and Jeannette?"

I nod my head as tears fill my eyes. I said I would do anything to breakthrough

to give Sir the ultimate pleasure and I will.

I just didn't think it would be so hard. I hope I'm up to this.

"Very well" Madame says as she positions herself behind me and immediately brings the leather strap down squarely on my ass. Hard. I yelled so loudly I startled myself even through my gag.

SMACK!

"One."

Madame: "Do you beg your Sir to fuck you in the ass and do you offer it on command for him to violate with whatever he pleases? Are you his anal slut?"

I nod yes. That little nod seems so inadequate given the frequency and enthusiasm at which it happens.

Helga positions herself to take me with her strap on, a first for both of us. She coats it generously with lube and enters carefully, thrusts tentatively 5 times and then while buried inside me so deep I can feel her thighs pressed against my ass she asks Madame to let her...

"Ravish her with my mouth; tonguing her pussy and rimming her ass while you all watch."

SMACK!

"Two"

"Do you pull down your panties and present yourself anytime your Sir demands to inspect your ass and or pussy, no matter what you're doing or how much it embarrasses you?"

I nod yes.

I take a deep breath to steady myself as Helga shoves back into my pussy harder this time. I don't think she's being awkward on purpose, but I do hope she gets the hang of this soon.

Helga: "I want to take her ass with this strap on while Jeannette takes her cunt hard with another and we fuck her until she comes while making a gushing mess."

The hell?! Calm down, Helga. I can barely handle this.

SMACK!

: "Three"

Madame: "Would it excite you if your Sir shared you with another man?"

Empathically I shake my head no as my eyes instantly fill with tears. I will myself not to cry, but it's too late. I drool so much more when I cry when gagged, and it's already been flowing so much it's pooling beneath me but I cant help it. Just the thought of him even suggesting it breaks my heart.

Helga takes my cunt even harder this time, I breath through it as I count 1-5 in my head. I'm beginning to acclimate to the rough fucking, but it feelings more like a clumsy medical procedure than sex.

"I want her to hold her pee until she can barely stand it then sit on my lap wriggling and squirming until she wets her panties."

She kept the strap-on buried inside me as she said this, as she had before. But unlike before she gently caressed my bottom as she spoke. We only had the one encounter, but she still knew how upsetting that question was for me. A tender gesture considering what she's asking for.

SMACK!

"Four"

Fuck! Tears spring to my eyes, she's been whipping me harder each time and after this one my ass is screaming in pain.

"Does it excite you sexually to have ceded bathroom control to your Sir?"

I nod yes.

"Do you obey him even when he makes you hold it so long you're in danger of having an accident? When he orders you to wet yourself for him do you obey?"

I nod yes twice, the gag preventing me from pointing out that I felt follow-up questions were cheating.

Helga softly runs her fingers over the red lash marks covering my bottom before she violates my cunt with a new urgency. I can tell it's getting hard for her to stop after five thrusts.

I was so focused on what was being inflicted upon me I'd forgotten that the other end of the strap on is buried deep in her cunt so as she fucks me she's really fucking both of us. It just now occurs to me that Helga is into this as far more than just a training exercise.

Helga: "I want to see her kneel in the bathtub before her Sir as he gives her a golden shower, then thank me watching."

SMACK!

"Five"

I bite my lip as the sting of the strap shoots through me. Only half way through only and I'm already approaching my limit for pain, I'll never make it to ten.

"Do you ever disobey your Sir on purpose in hopes of provoking a punishment?"

I shake my head no.

"Have you ever contemplated doing this?"

I nod yes. Of course I've considered it, but I can't deceive him. If dishonesty is introduced into our relationship it certainly won't be by me.

I'm no longer clenching when I feel Helga near my cunt with her rubber cock, but shouldn't this be more pleasurable? Now it feels like a slightly less clumsy medical procedure. I know Sir would prefer I enjoyed this, but he knows I've never understood what's sexy about this particular act. We've always seen this strap-on thing very differently, but I do need to try.

Helga: "I want her to share a double headed dildo with Jeannette while I wrap a belt around her throat tightened so she can breathe easily only while remaining perfectly still."

Yikes, Helga, what did I ever do to you? If Madame gives that one a greenlight then being dragged naked to the car by Sir is in my future for sure. There is no way he'd let that happen.

SMACK!

"Six"

My bottom is both on fire and a little numb, for which I'm grateful. Such a strange dichotomy.

Madame: "If your Sir ever demanded of you something that would go against your moral principles, harm another, or violate consent...I know, I know...I can see in your eyes how desperate you are to tell me he would never do that, but you're a smart girl and understand hypothetical questions.

If

he did would you acquiesce?"

I shake my head no.

Madame smiles as if pleased.

My pussy actively grips Helga's strap on cock enters me again so she slams into me far more roughly than before.

"I want to watch her suck her Sir's cock so I can learn her secret."

"What secret?" Madame raises and eyebrow as a smile she's trying to suppress plays at her lips, "I'm intrigued."

"At the end of our evening her Sir gave me permission to ask him any questions I had, so I asked him how my oral skills compared to other women. I was curious. He said I was quite good, better than most in fact, but I couldn't compare to his kitten. He said I shouldn't take it personally, he knew no one else would ever come close since the first time she wrapped her lips around him. I asked what was so special but he just said it was her magic powers and told me to drop the subject."

My arms are aching from being cuffed in one position so long, my legs cramping from the spreader bar, feet are screaming from these damn heels... I'm sweating, emotionally exhausted, my jaw hurts from this ball gag (my drool puddle is big enough to be a safety hazard), cunt is swollen and sore, ass screaming from the strap...but hearing this made every minute of this worth it.

I can tell from the way Madame side-eyed me that my happiness is written all over my face.

Wait a minute...I asked Helga that night what he'd told her about me and she said some lovely things, but never mentioned this bit of information. Looks like the ice queen isn't quite as confident as she appears. I wonder if I should tell her the truth when this is all over? That there is no secret. It's just that when he lets me service him with my mouth I'm so grateful for the privilege and incredibly excited...that's what he's feeling. I think she'd be very disappointed to learn there is no revolutionary new blowjob technique.

SMACK!

"Seven"

Bring it, Mary! Sorry...Madame. That last round gave me a second wind, I can take anything you can dish out if it will make him happy.

Madame: "Do you regularly degrade yourself by begging your Sir to violate you in ways you once found shocking and abhorrent?"

I nod yes. If I could have the answer to only one of life's mysteries this would be it. Why do I that? Why do I need to?

Helga has been inpatient as evidenced by her pounding me so hard it from the first thrust it would have been dangerous before I was warmed up and prepared; moaning loudly by the time she gets to five she then grunts in frustration and stops. I may be the one in restraints, but she's the one starting to lose control.

"I want to hold her down from behind, her wrists bound behind her back, in the tub and spread her pussy open while first you then Jeannette give her golden showers while her Sir watches. No gag so she can't claim she wasn't able to use the safe word. No matter how hard she struggles I want to forcibly hold her down until we hear the word. And we will."

Madame looks shocked but not nearly as shocked as I am, at the request or the specificity. I'd give anything to have seen Sir's face when she said that.

Helga must have noticed Madame's expression too because she goes on to explain, "He taught her everything. She does things for him that she wouldn't have dared fantasize about before. When he gives her a golden shower she sees it as him marking her as his. His possession of her and her submission in this way being the ultimate act of intimacy. That's why it bothered her so much when he did it to me, and why he said we had to make it expressly clear that it wasn't the same.

Having someone else do it to her will help her see it for the humiliating act that it is; for her own good she needs to stop seeing the beauty in sacred ritual where none exists."

What happened to our friendly rapport, Helga? If I didn't have this stupid gag in my mouth I'd tell her exactly what I think of her right now. I know I agreed to total surrender for the session but Madame will have to see this isn't in the spirit of our agreement. No way she will green light this. And if she does Sir will put the kibosh on it, I'm not worried.

But also fuck you, Helga. I couldn't see your face but I sure heard your voice tremble with desire while describing that.

SMACK!

"Eight"

I yelp as Madame hit the top of my thighs this time...I guess she ran out of places on my ass which weren't already battered beyond recognition, at least that's how it feels.

Does Sir know she's hitting me so much harder than he ever has? Why isn't he telling her to dial it back?

"As much as it would go against your nature, if your Sir wanted you to dominate another woman, according to his instructions, would you?"

I nod yes.

Although I have no doubt she could clearly see I'm less than enthused at the thought.

As Helga, again rams into me I close my eyes in an attempt to enjoy it so I try to imagine it's Sir this time. Once I got used to it I've kind of don't mind her fucking me, but there is no way I will ever come like this unless I can take my mind to a better place . It doesn't work. It's fine as far as toys go but she can only fuck my cunt with it. When Sir takes me, he's fucking my mind and my spirit just as much, if not more, than my body.

She, however, seems to be enjoying this more each time.

"When her Sir made her wet her panties while I knelt before her he only let me taste her off my fingers and what I could collect in my cupped hand. I want her to give me a golden shower me so I can taste her directly as I did with her Sir."