I first realised that something was wrong when I received an email. What's wrong with receiving an email message, you're wondering. This one denounced me as being a limb of Satan and told me I'd burn in hell. It was signed devout Christian.
The next one I received called me spawn of the devil and that I should rot. Signed by aggrieved Christian.
There were a few more in this vein, and I finally got a clue when some mob calling themselves the Moral Majority politely informed me that they found my ad in bad taste and they were petitioning Craig's list to have it removed.
I replied to the Moral Majority mob, explained that I didn't know what they were talking about, and could they please give me the Craigslist reference so that I could follow it up.
Strangely enough, they did, so I did.
The ad was a beauty, offering spanking instructions from Mason, the Master of Discipline. How to give spankings, how to take them and advise on the type of spanking appropriate for a given situation. The son-of-a-bitch who had set it up had set up the Craigslist replies-email so that any replies were diverted to my email box. If I found him, I'd kill him.
I added my voice to the Moral Majority and petitioned Craigslist to remove the ad, as it was a hoax, and eventually it came down. Not before I received over three hundred replies, though.
Just as a matter of curiosity, I browsed through the emails, deleting the junk as I went. Of the three hundred odd emails, about two hundred were abuse. Ninety Nine plus percent of the rest were just plain weird.
It was that one email sitting between ninety nine plus percent and one hundred percent that interested me.
Violet had written to tell me that her boyfriend wanted to spank her, and she was curious as to what it would be like but still a little too scared to actually let him do it. Would I be able to give her some advice?
What could I do? Of course I'd be willing to give her some advice. I composed a message, non-committal, but offering a helping hand. A few more messages flowed back and forth and I invited her to come around to discuss it. I also advised her that for her own safety, she should let someone know where she was going, message them when she arrived, and message them again when she left, so that they knew she was alright.
Saturday afternoon arrived, and with it came this sweet little pixie of a girl. She was about five and a half feet tall, slender, long brown hair, blue eyes, a sweet little figure, and a large smile.
One of the first things I explained to her was cost.
"Contrary to what you might have thought from the ad, I don't charge for consultation, or even for giving someone a spanking," I said. "I mean, really, if a person finds they absolutely hate being spanked, charging would be adding insult to injury, wouldn't it?"
Violet faltered a bit right then.
"Um, I haven't come to actually get spanked, you know?" she said, a small nervous quaver in her voice.
"That's OK. I understand that," I assured her. "You just want to know what it's like so you can decide if you want to let your boyfriend have a go at it."
She nodded enthusiastically.
"I'm not even sure what he means by spanking me. Your letter said that there are different types of spanking. What are they exactly?"
"Well, at one end of the scale you have the true S&M enthusiast, who's really into pain. They like lots of bruises, welts and in some cases, blood, and use a variety of instruments to achieve their ends. I am most definitely not into that sort of thing, and if your boyfriend is, I would suggest a new boyfriend is in order."
Violet looked horrified. Apparently the S&M high end hadn't even occurred to her.
"No," she said firmly. "We're not talking anything like that at all."
"Good," I said, smiling. "In that case the three broad categories you're looking at would be friendly spanking, naughty or chastising spanking, and sexual teasing spanking. Do you want a run down on each type?"
Violet nodded, looking interested. Terms such as friendly spanking were much nicer in her books than S&M.
"OK. Friendly spanking is just that. A bit of spanking play between friends that is not expected to either hurt or to lead to sex. It's supposed to tease and excite you and possibly embarrass you. The idea is that your boyfriend would just put you over his knee and deliver half a dozen or so spanks to your pretty little tush. He would not be spanking hard, but it could be loud if he's popping his hand. The embarrassment factor increases if he pulls down your panties to do it, but so does the excitement. It's not supposed to lead to sex, but the message is there that sex could well be on the agenda later that night."
"So it's not a proper spanking at all, is it?"
"Not really. As I said, it's mainly play, and it can look real and sound noisy, but it shouldn't really hurt and there'd be no red bottoms afterwards."
"What did you mean by making it noisy by popping his hand," Violet asked.
"Um, that's a bit hard to actually describe. I'd really have to show you, and I was of them impression that you don't want that, so we'd better let that go.
Now the next type of spanking..." I began, but Violet interrupted me.
"Wait a minute," she said, then hesitated.
"A friendly spanking doesn't hurt?" she asked. "Just sounds like it does?"
I nodded.
"That's right. Now, as I was saying..."
Another interruption.
"So if my boyfriend was to give me a friendly spanking, it doesn't really mean anything?"
I laughed. "I very much doubt that your boyfriend wants to give you a friendly spanking," I pointed out. "I might, because we're not headed towards sex, but I was under the impression that your boyfriend wanted the spanking as part of the sex."
Violet blushed, but looked thoughtful.
"Um," she dithered for a moment. "Ah, if you gave me a small friendly spanking, would that let me know if I liked being spanked?"
"It would give you some idea if you totally hate it, but not necessarily if you'd like a proper one. But you said you didn't want any spanking today," I reminded her.
"Well, you said a friendly spanking is not a real one, and it might give me some idea. Would you mind?" she asked hopefully.
Cornered, I agreed. I directed her over my knee, and that's when she found that things weren't quite as straightforward as she thought. She was wearing yoga pants and panties, and before she understood what I was doing she wasn't, at least as far as her bottom was concerned.
"Wait," she squealed, but too late as I popped my hand against her bottom's cheek. The curve of her bottom was just perfect for the curve of my hand, and the popping spank sounded like a thunderclap in the room.
Violet screamed and tried to bounce off my knee, but I had her neatly pinned and my hand came down and popped her other cheek, just as noisily as the first.
Then I let Violet go and she hastily jumped to her feet, hands holding her bottom and looking at me in shock, tears trembling.
Before she could speak, I did.
"All sound and fury," I told her. "Does your bottom really hurt?"
She blinked, as she suddenly realised that it didn't. She could probably feel where I'd spanked, but it was only the aftermath of being touched.