Odd Encounter in an Ambulance

I have zero experience in the bdsm world. But I recently had an experience I can't stop thinking about.

Background: I work as a firefighter for a large city. I work at a busy station. My friends in the suburbs are always jealous of me, because we get more fires in a week than they do in a year. I've been doing this for almost 20 years, and I have a lot of seniority at work. At my department, the junior firefighters work on the ambulances. Yesterday, I worked an overtime shift. Overtime is a bit rare these days, so I was offered an overtime spot on an ambulance. I haven't worked on an ambulance in years, but I figured what the hell, and took the shift.

The ambulances have changed a lot, but the job is basically the same. I've held a paramedic license for 20 years, and I always say this is a people business. Being able to talk to people and get them to relax a bit not only brings down their heart rate and blood pressure, but makes it easier to assess them and figured out what's really going on.

At about 11pm, we had a call at a local gay bar. When I first started in this business, there was a a lot of homophobia. Nowadays, no one gives a shit, which is a nice change. Anyway, I was working with a probationary firefighter (new guy), and we pulled up a few minutes after the engine company. A drunk guy had stumbled and fallen. As it turned out, the guy who fell was ok, but his friend, who had managed to catch him, had suffered a nasty laceration to his right forearm. During the stumble, the drunk guys glass had broken, and somehow cut his friend.

Long story short, I was in the back with the friend. He was well dressed (others in the bar were dressed like the village people). As I was in the back with him, I chatted like I do with everyone. I asked what they'd been up to, and he mentioned it was a bdsm night. He asked if I knew what that meant, and I said I did, but I'd never done anything dom/sub related. He laughed and said I didn't know what i was missing. I mentioned that I did once have a girlfriend who one one occasion I tied up and "did things" with. I also asked him to keep that quiet, as she was now married to a cop in the same city I work in.

He asked if I ever did anything like that again, and I said no. He asked if after that event, I had a desire to control someone like that again, and I said no. He said that I probably wasn't a dom then. I told him he was probably right. I'm just a regular guy. He then said I might be a sub, but it might be hard to know. I asked him how I'd know (I kind of felt like I shouldn't ask, but I did anyway). He said he could test me if I wanted. This struck me as so audacious. It was pretty inappropriate, but took an insane amount of confidence to say.

Like an idiot, I asked what the test would be. He said I'd have to hold my hands together, lace my fingers together, and "present" my hands to him. I've seen the cops arrest people before, and they often tell people to put their hands behind their heads and lace their fingers together, and then they grab their hands, and the person being arrested can't pull their hands away. So I knew this was a control position. And I honestly thought about doing what he said for a brief moment.

I was sitting on the bench on his left hand side, and the monitor was on his right side. I got up to walk around him and press the blood pressure button so I could reassess his vital signs. I sat down on his left side again, and we locked eyes for a brief second. Something inside me said "fuck it." I put the palms of my hands together, laced my fingers together, and moved my hands towards him.

He placed his open left palm on his thigh and told me to place my hands in his palm. I did it. He gripped my fingers together. He asked if it hurt, and I said no, even though it did a little bit. He asked who was in control, and I said that right now, he was. He asked if I was ok, and I said I was. My mind was seriously racing at this point, and my heart was pounding. He said the test was almost over, and he was going to tell me to do something else, and he wanted to make sure I was ready to try it. I said I was. He told me to kneel. There's not much space between the stretcher and the bench seat, so I was able to get one knee down (after looking up front and making sure my partner couldn't see). He said I had to kneel with both knees. I had to move around a bit, but I was able to do it. He said "look at me" and I did. We locked eyes again for a brief second, and then he let go of my hands. The whole thing lasted maybe ten or fifteen seconds.

This is not the craziest thing that's happened to me at work, but it is definitely the craziest one on one encounter I've had. It only lasted a few seconds, but now I can't stop thinking about it, and I keep thinking about him.

I'm not 100% sure why In sharing this, but I'm still trying to make sense of it.