I was a little nervous. I felt that we were getting too close, and I always thought you were too good for me. My past romances always ended with me betrayed, and whatever secrets, hopes, dreams, and desires I confided with, turned against me for their amusement.
It's always a struggle to overcome my shyness, and the protective shell of acts, words, and simply being quiet kept all at a safe distance. Except you. No matter how much I twisted and squirmed you always saw through it, and it scared me. I couldn't take another false love, but I wanted more than meaningless dating.
But I had made a mistake; I had confided a secret, a fantasy that I had dreamt of with disturbing regularity. Being at the complete mercy of a woman I trusted. Foolish of me, but no tolerance for alcohol had loosen my tongue and drowned out my inhibition, and I divulged all the details before I had thought about what I was doing.
Your invitation, no, demand to meet for dinner at a restaurant in a nearby town sparked mental images of being dumped and humiliated in a public place. I couldn't shake the dread and certainty that the worse was about to happen, but was looking forward to it at the same time. The danger of being too close was about to be removed, or so I thought.
Your secretive smile and the wicked look you kept giving me during dinner kept me on the edge, waiting for the hammer to fall and the interest to die. I can't even recall what I ate, or what you ordered. Pretending that I wasn't worried or concerned while jumping every time you spoke or touched me to get my attention warped and distorted my senses.
Finally, the dinner came to an end and I waited for the worse to happen. You leaned forward and caught my eyes with yours. "I asked you to meet me here to give you a choice. I have my car, and you have yours. You can either leave and we'll never speak again and no one else will know. Or you can follow me to a room I have rented. Either choice will change you forever. You can take a chance with me, or take no chances and go home. If you follow, I'll make it well worth your while, and make you mine. No more acts, no more of your lies to keep me from knowing you and everything about you."
You then paid the bill and stood up while looking at me with a clear challenge in your eyes, expression, and stance. I was stunned, surprised, and quite freaked out. Reaching into your purse, you pulled out your keys and shook them at me. "Be the gentleman and escort me to my car. Then you'll have to choose."
I almost tripped over the chair getting up, and nearly toppled the table as well. I couldn't seem to get coordinated, and tried to say something but couldn't produce anything intelligible. You gave me an amused grin, and put a finger over my lips. "Shhhh, just walk me to my car and then choose."
I'm not sure how I managed to walk that far without tripping over something or simply falling over. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to shoot out of my chest at any moment. The smell of your perfume, the touch from your arm in mine, and the looks you were giving me kept me in a state of arousal, and unable to come to a coherent thought.
"Moment of truth lover boy." You got in your car then, rolled down the window and looked up at me, "Please, follow me?" A look full of hope, eyes brimming with tears, looked up at me with devastating effect.
"Uh, yeah, I'll follow, of course I will."
You smiled then. I knew you were manipulating me, knew it and wasn't about to disappoint you then. The smile never left your face the entire time I fumbled with my keys, set off my car alarm, or nearly slammed my foot in the door. Hoping and praying I didn't cause an accident, I followed you into traffic and toward your destination. Being in the car gave me what I needed, distance, and isolation to think and consider my options.
"Damn", I thought, "Is she serious or just messing with me? Do I want to risk falling for her even more? Am I just setting myself up?"
I relived everything that happened to me up till then. All the dashed hopes, lies, cruel words, and loneliness. Wrapped up in my own little misery, I noticed just in time, that you were pulling into the parking lot of a hotel. I slowly followed you in, and watched you park and get out. You waved and walked into the room next to your car while I still sat in mine.
Torn by indecision, I continued to sit in my car, cursing every ex-girlfriend who had helped make me this way. I don't remember how much time passed. 10 minutes, 20 minutes, I can't say. Finally I had enough. Maybe this time, things would work out. Perhaps this time what I felt would be returned in equal measure. Either way, I knew that leaving without trying would haunt me.
I got out of my car and slammed the door. I didn't even bother setting the alarm. Meeting your challenge meant more to me than anything at that moment. Being with you meant more than anything. I strode with the dogged determination of a doomed man toward the door.
I didn't even get a chance to knock when you yanked open the door and pulled me in by my shirt. You looked relieved and delighted as you spun me about, slammed the door, and then wrapped your arms around me. Not a word was spoken as you kissed me, pushing me backwards little by little between kisses. I didn't care; I had you in my arms, and was delighting in the passion you were awaking in me.
I stumbled a little, nearly tripping over the slight change in carpet between the bedroom and the little living room. Grinning, you kept pushing me back despite my loss of balance, until I slammed into and fell onto the bed. Crawling onto me, you pulled at my shirt then slid it over my head and arms before tossing it over your shoulder. Running your hands over my chest and through my hair, you kept kissing me, keeping me on my back and half on the bed. Putting your hands on my shoulders for balance you slid off me, and gave me a very stern look reinforced by a finger.
"Stay and don't move!"
Spinning around, you took a few steps and slammed the bedroom door shut and locked it. Putting your back to the door, and looking very pleased with yourself, you stared at me for a few moments. Locking the door seemed abit extreme to me, after all, it's not like someone was going to come barging in, or maybe you were thinking I'd still run away.
It wasn't till I was staring back at you against the bedroom door that I noticed that the room was lit by the soft glow of candles. The bed sheets I was laying on were soft and not at all like typical rental fair. Here and there a lit stick of incense was burning, giving the room a soft, sensual feel. I started to wonder how long you had planned this, and what exactly you had in store for me. Starting to half sit up, and feeling pressured and nervous, I admit I was beginning to look for an escape route.
"Oh no you don't!"
As if launched from a catapult, you flew the distance from the door to the bed in an instant, tackling me and shoving me back on the bed. Straddling me with your hands on my shoulders right next to my neck told me, "You're not going anywhere. You made up your mind and now you're mine! Now stay here and do exactly what I say. When I'm done with you, you won't want to leave anyway."
