It was last Fall when I last visited my decease wife, Kate's grave sight, out of love and respect I have for such a promising actress that faced death before her time as the BMW spun out of control on such a rainy night that struck the guardrail on I-71 and bursts into flames I still see in my flamboyant eyes as though it was just yesterday when she took a good portion of me to her grave.
A lovely woman who understood my cries late at night, struggles of success, and all these ups and downs that Kate understood so well were still ringing in my ears even though it's been five years since the accident.
To this day I can't see myself being with another woman, even though she would want me to, I cannot bring myself to share the same bed, feelings, indulge her breasts or even give another woman this same enjoyment I'd always been able to give this much older lover. But little did I know I wasn't alone that afternoon at the beautiful headstone of pure gold. Discussing my future with my wife as an actor that had just received an award for best actor.
"I know it's been along time Kate. Sure I still love you! I don't know why I can't love anotherโฆ." I said five years ago today.
"I still can't bring myself to care for another woman that knows my every move and sooth the aches and growing pains of a mere boy ,19, that fell head over heels in love with such an understanding woman as you."
"Why?"
"Yes, I will try again, but I cannot promise you that I will love her like I have always loved you. The sight of your perfectly round breasts, tan figure, rosy cheeks, long red hair and the shade of your eyes, green, that brought out the color in your cheeks that I feel in love with that night at the bar."
After I had left the cemetery I could still sense something I cannot explain, something I felt back there, something rare and pleasing to my body I have never felt before since Kate entered my lifeโฆspirit perhaps?
Snow begins to fall much faster as I slip and slide my way to my driveway where much of the front lawn was covered, blanketed, with this white stuff that must be every bit of three inches or more. Realizing Christmas was just around the corner, very day that my Kate had left me. Sensing something or someone outside playing in the snow as I move my feet slowly across the house and watch this pretty middle-age woman making giant angels in the snow from the front window.