It was last Fall when I last visited my decease wife, Kate's grave sight, out of love and respect I have for such a promising actress that faced death before her time as the BMW spun out of control on such a rainy night that struck the guardrail on I-71 and bursts into flames I still see in my flamboyant eyes as though it was just yesterday when she took a good portion of me to her grave.
A lovely woman who understood my cries late at night, struggles of success, and all these ups and downs that Kate understood so well were still ringing in my ears even though it's been five years since the accident.
To this day I can't see myself being with another woman, even though she would want me to, I cannot bring myself to share the same bed, feelings, indulge her breasts or even give another woman this same enjoyment I'd always been able to give this much older lover. But little did I know I wasn't alone that afternoon at the beautiful headstone of pure gold. Discussing my future with my wife as an actor that had just received an award for best actor.
"I know it's been along time Kate. Sure I still love you! I don't know why I can't love another…." I said five years ago today.
"I still can't bring myself to care for another woman that knows my every move and sooth the aches and growing pains of a mere boy ,19, that fell head over heels in love with such an understanding woman as you."
"Why?"
"Yes, I will try again, but I cannot promise you that I will love her like I have always loved you. The sight of your perfectly round breasts, tan figure, rosy cheeks, long red hair and the shade of your eyes, green, that brought out the color in your cheeks that I feel in love with that night at the bar."
After I had left the cemetery I could still sense something I cannot explain, something I felt back there, something rare and pleasing to my body I have never felt before since Kate entered my life…spirit perhaps?
Snow begins to fall much faster as I slip and slide my way to my driveway where much of the front lawn was covered, blanketed, with this white stuff that must be every bit of three inches or more. Realizing Christmas was just around the corner, very day that my Kate had left me. Sensing something or someone outside playing in the snow as I move my feet slowly across the house and watch this pretty middle-age woman making giant angels in the snow from the front window.
My heart suddenly felt the burning sensations, as one, when I felt weak at the knees and nearly buckles to the floor. Enjoying this sight of bleach-blond wearing warm clothes to protect her wan flesh, woman so enjoyable to watch, that suddenly sees me making eye contact to her elegant frame that laid there like a perfect angel with both legs spread and arms stretched out, moving these body parts in such harmony. Wondering if I were going insane when I was the only one that can see her.
Suddenly I jerked my weary eyes towards the kitchen where the sound of a whistling tea kettle took me by surprise, but when I turn back around she was gone, vanishing, along with the angels she was forming in my front yard. So I went back into the kitchen to pour me a cup of the herbal tea and sit by this crackling fire the way Kate and I would always do on cold nights like this. Sitting here with my legs crossed, dressed in my long brown robe with the picture of my true love I'd lifted from the mantle to admire such beauty and warmth in her eyes. This smile I miss when suddenly her face was replaced by this one I saw moments ago. "Who are you? Why are you here?" I asked, watching her eyes light up with much glee.
"Let's just say I'm your guardian angel." She replied, smiling delightfully as she gazes, looks deeper into my eyes and wraps a few strand's of her tapered hair around one really pale finger.
I tried desperately to void out this look about her, the way her eyes studies me, the way she smiles, the way her dark lashes curls and the perfect formation of each round bosom that reminds me something aweful of another….
