The Other Girl
I guess I should've known how things would end up. I mean really, how thick did I have to be to have missed such an obvious conclusion? Maybe I can change things this time.
*
Day 1
Things will be better, I tell myself. I plug my phone into my car stereo and flick my thumb over the playlists I have saved and pick 'fiesty'. I set my phone into its cradle the first song kicks on. Within seconds I am starting to feel better, like I could kick ass at a moment's notice. I mean really, my situation in the universe is what I make it to be. Fuck everyone else.
Soon I'm heading into work, where I'm greeted with friendly smiles and cheerful "Good Mornings!" from, what I can tell anyway, are good natured people that will (this part I am certain of) reside in their cubicles for the next nine hours.
I have worked here for a week. I switch jobs a lot; I get bored. Luckily for me I am hirable enough that employers don't seem to care as much that I don't stay at places a very long time. It boils down to an intense feeling of something I'm not quite able to define beyond the awareness that I am not willing to settle for "less than". Less than what I'm not entirely sure of. I just know that if I'm not happy, I want out. If only I possessed this ability to flee and pursue higher standards of living in my relationships, I would probably wouldn't feel as if I'd set myself back at least five years in my adult life. But, don't we all.
Work is simple and stress-free, and I drink as much coffee as I like. I dress as I please, and my ink is viewable to others. Challenging, no, but it certainly has its perks. I have never felt more relaxed at the end of a workday. I might stay here awhile.
Day 2
Day off; it's Saturday. I don't sleep in, as much as I might like to. My internal clock is very punctual, and on more of schedule than my conscious self. With nowhere to rush off to, the first order of business is the same as always.
I tend to fixate on the same fantasy for a period of time until it doesn't provide the same thrill or it takes longer to serve its purpose, and then I'll think of something else. They're always perverse enough that I have never shared them with another person except bared down to extreme abbreviation. The flavor of the moment is "Bring your Pet to work day". It's quite ribald.
Thirty seconds later I set my toy back in its place hidden in my nightstand and toss back my sheet and blanket. While I decide what to wear I ponder what I am going to do today and also remind myself that it's been awhile. I quickly head to the shower. Maybe this fantasy is losing its flavor after all.
I love my detachable showerhead. When I discovered the solid jet-stream setting and its effect on my clitoris, I took four showers that day. Now I quickly lathered and rinsed my hair with shampoo, following with an application of conditioner. I then grabbed the showerhead and lowered myself to my knees and closed my eyes.
I grabbed the protruding shower shelf with my left hand while my right worked the piercing stream over my already wet clit, while I thought about how long since I'd been fucked like I deserved it. I quickly flicked the warm stream up over my breasts and over my taught nipples, and the piercing water hurt just enough to provide the accompanying pleasure and I began to fantasize sweetly about who was really providing me this indulgence.
~"On your knees I said," His face was impassive. I wasn't sure how serious he was, and whether or not to obey. I looked at him, motionless.