Lost in You

Sat at the end of the bar, just staring into space, you've been nursing the same drink now for 30 minutes, not that I've been watching you. Oh how I would love to be able to read your mind, to know have you once thought of me, are you thinking of me right now?

From my seat in the corner I can see most of the bar without being spotted. I've seen the way everyone looks at you as they walk in or head towards the bar. The guys eyes all go to your long legs, then make their way up your body. I know exactly what they are thinking, I have been thinking the same for the last hour.

You know you have peoples attention, I can see that look in your eye and the way you tease the edge of the glass with your lips. Occasionally dipping your index finger into the glass and then running your tongue around and around to lick the clear liquid off your tip seductively.

Memories flood my mind, memories I have pushed away time and time again. Slowly I shake my head, why am I here, watching you, hoping you look up and see me?

Picking up my glass and emptying the contents in one swift gulp, throwing some loose change on the table top I start to make my way out the bar, for the millionth time asking myself why did I even come here tonight, yet knowing the answer already. You look in my direction but your drink glazed eyes don't even see me or do they?

My head is still full of a million questions, questions I should of asked you, answers I should of demanded, but now its too late.

Reaching the door, I turn just once more, in some vain hope you are still watching or even following me. You are back to staring straight ahead and as I open the door and the chilled air hits my face I get that familiar lost, empty feeling that has engulfed me all these months.

The urge to turn around, march up to you, grab your shoulders and shake you is overwhelming, but I know I never would and it would be pointless. You are lost to me. Why did I think I would be any different to anyone else, how could I of been so foolish. You had even warned me over and over not to expect too much from you, why did I think I was so different, so much more special than all the others, why did I believe your seemingly empty words of love and devotion.

Walking to my car all I can feel is hopelessness, how did it all go so wrong, so fast? So many unanswered questions. Pulling the door open I tell myself again, probably better not to know, just as I have all these months.

Taking one final look at the bar door, I start to pull out of the car park and suddenly there you are in the doorway.

Still my heart leaps at the sight of you, the similar feeling of wanted to be with you, protected by you, loved by you floods over me.

Your eyes are now on me, your hand goes up as if to try and get my attention. I should just keep going, just keep driving but, damn, its you, its that look in your eyes, that lost, longing and demanding look that I have no way of ignoring.

Then you are in front of my car, I have no choice but to stop. No sooner have I and you at the drivers side, tapping, pointing for me to roll down the window. Again my head says just drive but instead I find myself pressing the window button and watch as it slides down.

A smile crosses your face, a knowing almost smirk, why did I come here, why did I stop the car? You raise your hand to my cheek, still no words have passed between us and I feel the warmth of your fingers against my cheek as you start to move closer.

I want to close my eyes, but I can't, I want to grab you, smash your head hard against the door frame but I know I won't. Instead I wait, keep looking deeply into eyes, as you move ever closer to my face with yours.

I can smell the alcohol on your breath, mixed with the ever powerful scent of your perfume, that familiar scent that is projecting me ever closer and closer to everything I have lost, everything I had ever wanted. That smirking all knowing smile again as your lips brush mine and then press, until they are crushed against mine.

You are kissing me deeply, your tongue forces its way between my lips, making them part and open up to you as always. Finding my tongue, yours wraps around it in a deep passionate kiss, that awakens every sense within me, I can feel myself falling into you, all my needs refreshed. But then suddenly your mouth is gone from mine and you are pulling away, any resemblance of a smile gone from your face, replaced with that cold stern look.

You are once again looking at me like I disgust you and it makes my stomach flip, how can such a look have such power over me.

Forcing the drivers door open, you grab my wrist and haul me out the car, your movements so fast I have no time to react. Slamming the door you push me hard against it, turning me at the same time so my body is pressed against the cold metal of the car. You move behind me, I feel your body on mine, your breath on my neck, your hands grabbing my waist, kicking at my feet, forcing my legs apart. I feel as your yank up my skirt to my hips and rip my panties down and I know I am soaking wet for you already, needing you still, wanting to be taken by you, to be claimed and owned again.

Suddenly your fingers are forcing their way into my pussy, that familiar feeling and need of them sweeps over me and I am lost to them and you.

Then finally you speak, hissing into my ear... "You should have stayed away little one, saved yourself, now there is no escape."

And all I can do is smile, knowing I did and do matter, I am different to all the others. Hearing your almost growl the words "You are so mine!" I simple reply, "I'm yours Mistress, all yours."