Learning to Let Go

Learning to Let Go is an 8 part continuous series; so if you were naughty and skipped ahead I urge you to start at the beginning or the following may make little sense.

Welcome to Part 7.

*****

2005

"So... am I allowed to talk?" I asked Nikki as she stood over me.

"Of course." I tested the leather straps to see how strong they felt, and

very strong

was the answer.

"Do I have to call you Mistress?" She just laughed at my innocence.

"Call me what the fuck you like, Yoshi. I doubt you'll be able to make it a... consideration once we get started."

Fuck

. That didn't sound good, but my cock twitched hard. "You seem to have a lot of pre-conceived ideas about fetish play?"

"Just what I've heard, Nikki. This is all new to me." She rubbed her hands together, and bounced up onto her tip toes with unconcealed glee.

"Oh, I can tell, don't worry." She looked really girlie then and the whole thing wouldn't quite sit in my brain straight. I had no doubt this was going to be an experience I'd not be able to forget in a hurry. Everything was geared up for her to work whatever magic was in her mind; how the light shone down on me, that there was a fucking large mirror in front of me, the way the seat of the chair was slightly too long forcing my hips forward. It was... It was a

fucking ambush

was the response my tactically trained mind said back to my senses. But I

wanted

it this way and I could not fathom why.

"You don't have to wear a PVC corset then?" I said not sure if I wanted her in one, but my nerves got the better of me and I found myself talking for the sake of it.

"No, silly. But you think my being naked is not enough Yoshi?"

"Now I didn't fucking say that." Nikki walked off and I chided myself for opening my big mouth.

Keep it shut or you'll find yourself in even hotter water

I thought to myself, before my imagination echoed back;

but maybe you want that dipshit?

Thirty seconds later Nikki returned wearing only two items; a pair of glasses and military cap - a Soviet army

praporshchik

'

s

cap my mind noted for the sake of it. This made her look incredibly hot, and again, I was reminded of how talented she was at this.

"You like?" She pulled the cap down slightly on an angle and posed with her hands on her hips for me.

"How did you..."

"Know? It's in your photography Yoshi. Every time we had models in, you always wanted the one wearing glasses. And

every

time we got to use props you'd always be standing there holding a fucking hat. The military theme I'm taking an educated guess at." I swallowed, she was good and she knew it. I adored how Nikki catered for my own taste, how she could tell the full on dominatrix wasn't for me; but how these two simple accessories would drive me wild. It also highlighted I was totally out-classed here, and I was really going to get a lesson. She walked forward and dropped to her knees in front of my chair and licked her lips. "Now, let's see what's in these shorts."

The atmosphere changed a little then and I could tell she wanted to up the ante but was holding back for my sake. Her hand snaked up the leg and very gently explored my body, taking her time to find my shaft; only briefly brushing against it now and then teasingly.

"You're so

very

hard Yoshi." She smiled wickedly. "Can I see it?"

"You're in charge here Ma'am." I replied as evenly as I could.

"Hmm yes. Aren't you a good boy for allowing me to be?" Nikki said rhetorically and put her hands on the waistband and began to peel my shorts down. She folded the front down first and my cock sprang out in front of her. "Very nice." She commented before tugging my shorts all the way down to my ankles causing them to pop several stitches. "Mm much better. What a tempting sight you are young man?" Her elbows rested on the wood between my legs and she placed her chin on both of her hands, taking in the sight of me which made me feel awkward I guess. I recognized her expression as one I probably wore every time I had a girl laid out in front of me, lustful and predatory. The only difference was that Nikki was in no hurry at all; where I would be eager to get my hands on my partners flesh.

"I'm glad you like it Nikki." I said a little awkwardly.

"Oh I

do

! All this

muscle

... I don't know what to do with it really. Most of my clients aren't as... focused on their body as you."

"It's a by-product Nikki; I have a physically demanding job. I'm not a fucking gym rat."

"Sure, sure." She wasn't listening at all, just looking at my body thoughtfully.

"You've got a nice cock; anyone tell you that?"

"It's been said." She folded her arms and leaned on the chair and fixed her eyes onto mine, the hat and glasses framing her face in what I found to be incredibly erotic posture.

"I don't suck client's cock's y'know?"

Oh for fuck sake

I thought

this is all a tease? Shit.

"I didn't realize I'd become a paying customer Nikki?" She smiled a genuine little smile, amused.

"I didn't mean you were. I just meant it's not part of what I do professionally. I want to clarify this - what we do now - isn't the same. It's different for me too."

"I don't care either way so long as you do something with it." I joked, nodding at my hard dick.

"Like sucking it for you, Yoshi?" She said quietly.

"Yeah."

"Stroking it?"

"Yes Nikki."

"You want to have your cum on my hands, my lips, Yoshi?"

"Fucking yes!"

This was driving me nuts. I wanted her to start this so badly.

"You're going to regret that you know?" She kept her tone and gaze level, and combined with the words it freaked me the fuck out. "I'm going to do those things. I'm going to stroke you first ok?"

"Ok." She slid both hands up my legs and cupped my balls gently while rubbing them through the sack with her thumbs. It felt amazing.

"What's your safe word?"

"Huh?"

"You need a word to let me know when to stop, Yoshi?"

"What the fuck is wrong with "stop"?"

"People often say "no" or "stop" when they don't mean it - saying it sometimes turns them on more and it might be like that for you." Her fingers found the base of my shaft and pressed lightly making it stand up away from my body. "I don't think you'll need it today, nothing will cause you... damage." She paused for thought, and I admit I had several in that short space of time. "This will be psychologically different for you. You might not like that part. Please pick a word."

A fucking safe word

.

Ok

, I thought

this shit is about to get real.

Her hands had barely touched me and I ached so much for more, but at the same time was scared of what I would get. I was getting reeled in here no doubt about it; it reminded me strongly of letting an opponent underestimate my abilities before taking them apart once their guard was dropped. She was using my lust against me but the only options I had were to go forward or quit.

And you're not about to quit are you mate?

My mind told me

because we don't do quitting do we?

"Abort" Nikki laughed and laughed at that.

"Abort? Ha ha haa! That's fucking awesome; don't you have an imagination?" She sneered up at me.

"It's not a word I say lightly you bitch." I said defensively.

"Naughty words, young man... Naughty words." She was smiling all the same. "They'll get you into a

lot

of trouble." She leaned forward then, and let a glob of spit trickle out of her mouth and land on the head of my dick. With the palm of her hand she smeared it over my sensitive skin and I moaned and my hips lifted. I had no idea I was so horny until she really touched me and it was like an electric shock straight through my body. Nikki backed off a little using the edges of her index fingers to slide and push her spit up and down my shaft. She kept adding more and more saliva until I could see it was completely coated, her fingers only applying

just

enough pressure to make my cock twitch and bounce. I couldn't help but try and tip my pelvis to get more friction but her fingers just danced away from me compensating for whatever movements I made.

She'd made no attempt to use her mouth at all and for some reason I'd had it in my mind that she was going to suck me off - straight away. I could not stop thinking about the moment when she would drop her head and take me between her lips. Shit, she hadn't even properly jerked me off yet and my frustration was building. She hadn't really paid much attention to my face and just seemed content to trace the bulging veins on my manhood over and over again. It got harder and harder, and more and more sensitive, but I couldn't get further with the feeling because Nikki wasn't adding anything else to the sensation.

"Fucking hell Nik; how long do you plan on doing that for?" I asked in the end.

"Oh. Long." She muttered back not bothering to even look at me.

"Don't you think you should do something else?"

"Nah."

For fuck sake!

This was driving me fucking mental.

"I think umm... you maybe could suck it a little?" I tried to make this sound like a suggestion and failed.

"Not yet." Then she looked at me. "You seem to want a little relief Yoshi?"

"

No shit!

I'm fit to burst here."

"Ok then."

Thank fuck for that

I thought. I didn't know why I hadn't just said something earlier. Nikki encircled my aching cock with her right hand and gently tugged on my balls with the other.

"Fuck yeah, that's good." She started to speed up and I was already well on my way to orgasm and had no doubt I was going to cum hard. Her fingers caught the ridge at the base of my head so well, gliding over it as it was slick with saliva. We both watched intently as I got closer and closer, Nikki's hand working faster, twisting a little, her thumb latching over my slit at the top of her stroke, my balls were pulled down tightly keeping preventing my foreskin from slipping back.

"Cum for me Yoshi." She purred licking her lips and her words goaded me on. "Yes, that's it, be my good boy. Cum all over my hands." I couldn't take anymore and felt my hips starting to buck, my cum becoming pressurized, and I was on the verge of spurting it out of me when Nikki let go.

"Aaaarrrrgh

fuck!

" We watched as my cock pulsed hard, twitching up and down, but the release just wasn't there. I watched in astonishment as a small amount of cum trickled out of my cock with absolutely no pleasure being attached to it. Where was the fucking

relief

? Nikki just smirked at me and then bent forward and licked the pathetic amount of cum off the tip which sent me into a fit of spasms. "Nikki... shit...why'd you let go?"

"I want to keep you hard a while longer." I could both see and feel she was right. "Besides..." she added grinning at me "...you wanted my mouth on it too?"

Nikki took my cock deep into her mouth then and I was in heaven. The mini orgasm thing meant I wasn't ready to cum right away and it took a little while for the sensitivity to die down. Her mouth was so silky as she slowly worked up and down my shaft that not only did the harsh feeling I had disappear, I could also feel myself quickly becoming accustomed to the movements.

"That's good, just like that, just like that." Nikki didn't so much as blink at me and just kept working away at my cock at a sedate pace. It didn't take long before I started to yearn for more pressure, or more friction. I wanted to grab her head and push her mouth down into my lap so she had to take me deep, but I couldn't move. The only thing I could do was lift my hips but Nikki only became even gentler in her ministrations if I did that, and I had to give up. She raised her head and grinned mischievously.

"You are really fucking tasty Yoshi. Did you know that?" I just watched her licking my dick like a lollipop as she waited for an answer.

"I taste my own cum." I said, not really sure why I'd phrased it like that.

"I bet you're a nasty little boy like that Yoshi. Deep down there's something very kinky in you." She gave me several long full length licks of her tongue and then said. "You want to cum in my mouth you nasty boy?"

Jesus Christ!

The way she said it was so...so...

filthy.

"Yeah Nikki, suck me good now. I want you to taste me."

"Mm you want to do it to me right? You want to fuck my mouth?"

"Yeah, take these straps off and let me fuck you." She just laughed as she slowly stroked me.

"Oh

no

, I've a

much

better idea." She whispered conspiratorially. "Because I'm such a nice person, I'm going to let you throat fuck me." My dick literally throbbed when she said this. "But... I'm not letting you out. No, sorry. That's not an option. Now, I'm going to place my mouth over you and it's up to you how much effort you want to put in." With that she bobbed her head down to my lap, took my cock into her mouth deeply, and worked it down, seemingly without any form of gag reflex. Her throat was tight around me and I floated in the sensation of it until I realized she wasn't moving any more.

From my position it was extremely awkward to lift my hips and almost all the movement came from my abs and core muscles, but I pushed my cock into Nikki's face as far is it would go. I felt her nose compress, she took everything I had to give her. I let my hips drop momentarily before jerking them back upwards. Nikki kept her head where it was, and I started to fuck her with enthusiasm. This went on for only about thirty seconds before two things happened; my abs were becoming exhausted ridiculously fast and the tension through my lower body was causing my orgasm to creep up to the surface. I wanted to cum in her throat desperately, it felt fantastic, but really, I just liked how dirty it was. Nikki was right; I liked to get a little nasty, and she was letting me do this of her own free will. In fact the sounds she was making suggested she was really enjoying herself.

"That's right Nikki... fucking take it. Take it...

take it!

" Pumping my hips faster and faster, banging into her face hard and I couldn't give a fuck. Pleasure was seeping through my core even as my muscles filled with lactic acid and began to burn. It didn't matter because I was about to cum in her throat;

right down her fucking throat!

My thrusts turned into jerks and I knew I was about to fill her.

The

fucking bitch

pulled her mouth clean off me.

"Nikki!

What the fuck!?"

I shouted as my dick throbbed and pulsed in empty air. To my horror I saw more cum trickling out of it and run down my shaft with absolutely zero satisfaction. I didn't understand this; I had just

cum

, why the fuck did it feel like I

hadn't?

"Fucking hell.

Fucking hell, Nikki - what are you doing?"

"Shut up you stupid cunt." She spat out at me. "You think you're using me?

You're the bitch here, understand?"

She swiped her fingers along my shaft making my hips buck, collecting cum on them, before shoving them into my mouth. "Suck them clean, like I just sucked you." She pushed them further and I jerked back in the seat until I had nowhere further to go. She continued to press them into my mouth until I was gagging. I was at the point I was considering biting her fucking fingers right off when she removed them. "Enjoying my throat and I can't have a little fun with yours huh? What a fucking hypocrite? Are you fucking

crying

you pathetic bitch?"

I guess my eyes were streaming tears from being nearly retching on her fingers. I felt totally disoriented by how fast the situation had flipped. Nikki wasn't kneeling in front of me anymore; she stood between my legs with an attitude I knew couldn't be role play. This was the real Nikki. She bent over and jerked my cock several times which hurt like hell.

"Nikki,

fuck,

that

hurts!

" She laughed.

"Fine I'll stop doing it then." No sooner had she removed her hand from me I wanted it back. I still had to cum. I couldn't understand why, but I wasn't satisfied. In fact, I'd let her jerk me as hard and as roughly as she wanted so long as she let me cum properly. I told her this and she continued to laugh. "You want

me

to bring

you

off? What about

my

pleasure you selfish cunt?"

"Whatever you want Nikki, whatever you want. I'll do it." I hated myself for saying it because I knew she had this planned out, and I was playing right into her fucking hands. She was very serious now.

"I want to have your cock in my cunt Yoshi."

Jesus Christ, thank you, thank you.

"But you had better not cum."

"What?" I said bewildered.

"This is for me not you. You're just a cock that's all. You're going to sit there and be my fuck toy understand? If I think you're having a good time Yoshi...

you're gonna really fucking regret it.

" As she said this her gaze went from trying pierce through the back of my head to look over her shoulder. My eyes followed hers and found her looking at a wall with the most hellish implements in the room. There was even a stick of wood with nails driven through it like a club, and I had no idea how that could ever be used without inflicting serious bodily damage. "Are you ready, shithead?" I could only nod at her.

Nikki turned away from me and I wasn't certain what she intended. I saw her hand dip between her legs and heard the moisture there as much as I could see it glisten on her fingers. Her right hand reached back and grabbed my forearm that was bound to the arm of the chair and put her weight on it as she leaned back. Her other hand reached underneath her and grabbed hold of my cock; pulling it roughly downwards to line up with her wet pussy. With no ceremony at all, Nikki dropped her full weight onto my lap.

"Argggh

shit!

" Nikki bounced hard on me, grunting loudly. "

That's too fucking hard Nik!"

"Shut... Up... Cunt."

I couldn't do anything; she had me completely how she wanted me "

You take it now you fucking prick. Take. It. Take. It. Take. It."

She panted this over and over again. I watched her arse smash down into my lap and even though it was painful as fuck it was turning me on. The angle she was riding me pulled my cock downwards and the friction was incredible. It hurt, but I found I really

liked it

.

"Nikki, fucking hell, Nikki, I'm going to cum if you don't stop!"

"Don't. You.

Fucking

. Dare!" The more she swore at me the hornier I became and I involuntarily started to buck upwards even though my abs were on fire.

"Fucking yes." I panted. "Yes... yes... this time...

yesss.

" I was close and I knew she was too. There was no way she'd stop; her pussy was already squeezing me more and more. She'd have to wreck her own orgasm as well. "I'm going to cum inside you Nikki. Fuck you but I'm going to cum

this time!

" and I shoved myself up into her cunt hard. But Nikki, shit, Nikki still had some skills and just before I could get onto my final stroke she dropped her hand that had been rubbing her clit and used it to crush my balls together. The pain was... was... indescribable. I hadn't been able to brace myself, had no idea it was coming at all, and went from near orgasmic bliss to a level of pain where I thought I might vomit. "

SHIT! SHIIIT! Fucking shit! What the fuck are you doing you total cunt?!

" I screamed at the back of her head, muscles cording in my neck as I tried to break free.

"God yes...

Yes... Fucking... YESSSSSSSS!

" Nikki came violently on top of me, still holding me by the balls, hunched over and shuddering hard. Her hat fell off but she made no effort to retrieve it. "That's it you nasty little boy" She raggedly breathed out. "You've just been used."