Laid Stupid

The punishment . . .

So this will be my very first punishment, ever and I am both excited and nervous. I have come to learn that I can take more pain than I thought I would with him. But I know I have limits and he knows how I feel about the paddle. I am just so anxious at this point to experience everything that I find my self looking forward to this.

He begins to build up the anticipation very early in the week. He tells me, "I know you like spankings, but you are not going to like this one". Each time we talk that week he reminds me of the impending punishment. He even goes so far as to warn me that I need to be prepared to go home with bruises.

Finally, Friday comes around and he calls me up at work and tells me I must go home on time if not early to get in the right mental state for tomorrow. He goes on to tell me I will receive my punishment in the garage because I will most likely lose control of my bladder during it. He has built this up and I am so nervous and excited.

That night I am talking to him on the phone while I am shopping in a local store. He instructs me to go to the kitchen section and find clamps, like the ones you use to hold a bag closed. I have a hard time finding them and he warns me I do not want clothespins! So I go back and find some. He directs me to find some kind of hook that would go in the ceiling and some clothes line but I cannot find these items.

I am then instructed to find and pick out a wooden spoon, and I spot one right away and put it in my cart. He then tells me I should get a soft robe because I will need a shower afterwards and it will feel good on my skin. I go to that department and find a beautiful soft dark purple one. It was $100 dollars well spent and I am so excited.

Before I leave the store I buy a hairdryer to leave there and some smaller items so I can put myself back together before I go home. I finish up my shopping and my anxiety level is off the charts by now. I go home and we end the call with the agreement that I will get up in the morning and come over around 11am. I have been instructed to get a good nights sleep.

I get up the next morning and prepare to see him the way I always do. I eat a light breakfast and do a few chores around the house. Then I go into the bathroom and give myself an enema as I am always prepared for anal sex. I put on light make up because I know I will be crying before the day is done. I take a shower, shave my legs and get dressed to go over. I put my hair up today in a ponytail as usual so it is not in the way.

I call him and he is sleeping still, this disappoints me a bit but I head on over to his house. I know he is not looking forward to this, he is not a sadist at all. When I get there I am so nervous. Honestly, I still get nervous every time I go over like it is still so new for me. I immediately sense he is not really prepared or in a frame of mind to deliver the kind of punishment he has been alluding to all week. I am a bit worried at this point.

I really want to experience this. I feel like I pushed him that day to follow through with the punishment. But realistically if he had let me slide it would have been bad. I tend to push my limits and I would have continued to be disobedient. I know I am pushing but cannot help it today. I really need this.

He begins to move around the bedroom like he is trying to get ready and I can tell he is not prepared. I am trying so hard not to be selfish, but also respect my needs. I find this very hard sometimes.

He orders me to take off his pants and go down on him. He tells me I have to make him come no matter how long it takes. I begin sucking his cock slowly at first then harder and faster as I get aroused. I know doing this is for him and not for my pleasure so I do my best to make sure he gets what he needs. After a while, I hear the telltale signs of his moaning and he comes in my mouth. We lie there for a bit and I get up to go to the bathroom. When I come back he tells me to pull up a stool and suck him off again! I have never done this a second time. I am a bit angry at this point. Patience is not one of my virtues. I am trying to learn to be a good sub so I do as I am told. And damn, he comes again!

By this time I am so wound up I am crawling out of my skin. We lay there for a few minutes and he gets up.

He wanders around like he is trying to put something together and come up with a plan. He tells me that he is not prepared for the garage and there is no room in there anyway. So he must improvise. He wanders out onto the landing taking a chair with him and I hear him in the room he keeps the "toys" in. He comes back in goes into the bathroom and actually vomits due to his nerves.

Part of me feels like I should tell him to forget about the punishment if he wants, but I know myself and if I am to take this seriously I need this to happen. Otherwise, I will keep trying my limits with him and probably drive him away.

He comes back in the bedroom after a few minutes and orders me out onto the landing. He looks at me and states "Take your pants and panties off, Now!" I do as I am told I can tell he is serious almost angry.

He then takes out two fur lined leather cuffs and I have tiny wrists but he fastens them on me finally despite his obvious shaking. He then loops a length of rope through the hooks and ties a knot. He is always safe and shows me how to get out of the knot. He then places a towel over the back of the chair and instructs me to bend over the chair. He fastens my hands to the legs of the chair and I am only able to move my legs.

He waits while I stand there a moment getting acclimated with being bent over the chair so I don't lose my balance. He then very firmly reminds me why I am being punished.

He asks "Do you remember why you are being punished?"

I answer, "Yes, Sir because I did not follow directions and wear my kegel balls on several occasions."

Out of nowhere the first hit comes from his bare hand across my ass. He continues this and as promised this spanking is nothing like the pleasure spankings I have received from him before. At the point the pain is very manageable. He then changes to the flogger and the pain intensifies. I begin to recite the only thing I can remember, the lyrics to a country song.

This continues for a while. Then all of a sudden I feel the "thwack" of the paddle. The one I love to hate! This fucking hurts. I begin to cry, not only from the pain but I am disappointed. This punishment was built up and was supposed to involve more than this and lets face it I am a greedy, hungry little submissive. I want it all!

I cannot hide the pain from him though and I begin to cry uncontrollably. I stumble a few times feeling like I may actually fall over with the chair. He hits me a couple more times. At this point I am too emotional to safe word. So he does it for me calling it quits. He always seems to know my limits and can read my body so well only after a few months.

He very gently unties me and leads me to the bed telling me, "I hate to see you like this, it destroys me."

We lay there me crying hysterically at this point him just holding me. Finally, he gets up and puts cream on my ass all the while taking care of me. This is really the first time I have had aftercare from him. We have never had a play session so intense that really required it before.

Later that night I go home with no sex or release for me. I am badly bruised and it hurts. I am not ok. I cry literally all night I am so upset. The truth is that as bad as it hurt with the paddle the punishment was not enough. I know I should have let him wait until he was in the right frame of mind now. I get no release that week and it takes me several days to get past it and feel better.

I know we will get past this. We are still learning each other and our needs, wants and so on. I am still learning to communicate and he is still learning me.

Next weekend I am still out of sorts and we spend part of the day working around the house. After a while we go up to the bedroom and lie down. We lay there for a while and out of nowhere I raise up on my arms and look at him and state firmly as I can manage "I need sex."

He looks at me and tells me "If you can get it hard, you can have it." I undo his pants pull them off and begin to lick and suck his cock. He immediately gets rock hard as always. I get up and take off my own clothes and grab the lube. I straddle him and quickly guide his cock into my very greedy little pussy. We both like this position and I ride him until I have had orgasm after orgasm. I am never really satisfied but this calms me enough.

I have really come to need this connection between us. It settles me. Quiets my very busy mind.

These moments with him are quite frankly the only thing that can give me the peace I so long for.