My estate agent winks at me as he says, 'this one's a little cheaper,' and doesn't reply when I ask him for a figure. Unlike the other places we've been he doesn't immediately start the sell, though he really doesn't need it: it's the best I've seen all week. The landlord is there, which is unusual, though he tells me he lives upstairs, which sort of explains it.
'So here's the thing, Grace, I don't need any money for this place, or really want any ...' He's very attractive: early thirties, with a bit of bristle, quite short technically but with a strange dominance in the room.
'Ok? ... You surely aren't just giving it away rent free?'
'Not quite. My proposition is that in exchange for the apartment, all bills included and with a weekly cleaner, you'll do something for me once a week?'
'Do something? ... '
'Yes. Well - specially, you'll do anything for me, for an hour a week?'
'Anything?'
'Yes. Obviously within health & safety, privacy, practicality, etc. '
'You want a ... slave, for an hour a week, in exchange for this place?'
He nods.
I'm looking at him, and I realise slowly that this isn't about chores, or bookkeeping, or whatever else a man could possibly need: this is sexual, purely sexual.
Do I want to whore myself out to this man for an hour a week in exchange for this place?
The idea seems completely wrong, and yet, I was already attracted to him before he made the offer, and just imagine having your entire salary as disposable income: the things I could buy, going out for dinner every night, the holidays (although I'd have to be back once a week ... maybe we can arrange something for that, anyway -)
'What day?'
And I sort of think, why the fuck did I ask that, it seemed so specific, and so irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It must make me look like such a slag, unphased by the notion of it and already down to details.
'Wednesday evening. Nine pm.'
'Why so specific?'
He doesn't answer, at all: he had heard the question, and with his immovable silence tells me that it's none of my business.
Today is Monday: if I say yes then I've got 60 hours before he'll first ... 'use' me.
I make sure to take a few seconds to think on it, to know I'm making the right decision. Then, suddenly, he walks off, shouting 'tell Mr Jones by the end of the day.'
Mr Jones, my estate agent, walks me out. He tells me that he thinks I'll say yes, because so far nobody has gotten this far, everyone says no immediately, but the vibe of the room seemed different.
I move my stuff in the following day, and on Wednesday evening at 8:55pm I'm deciding what to wear and preparing to wander upstairs when there's a knock on the door.
'One second!' I shout, knowing who it is, and doing a final brush of the hair.
'I hadn't forgotten, errmm ... I don't even know your name, sorry. I was about to come up.'
'No. Down here. And you can call me sir.'
'Sir! Really?! It's not nine yet, surely you've got a real name?'
He does that not-answering thing again, just staring right through me.
'We stay down here!'