Welcome to Chapter Fourteen of my story, which is completely true. This story won't make any sense unless you read the first thirteen chapters first. Click my profile for the link to those chapters.
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Nate had worked for the same place for over twelve years, and at first they told him that he would have to "occasionally" travel to corporate headquarters in New York. What started as him being away two or three days a month went from two or three days a week, and as time went on and his responsibilities grew he began working in New York full time. He was told it was a temporary thing, but he'd been doing it for almost four years. Nate came home on a Friday and announced the company was taking him out of his hotel, furnishing him with an apartment in Manhattan, and giving him a promotion and a raise.
My husband was thrilled, as he said he was tired of "hotel living", but I wasn't as happy. I told Nate that this signified that the "temporary" assignment had obviously become a permanent one. When Nate semi-snidely told me that he had accepted that some time ago, it dawned on me how we never talked about those things...we never talked about a lot of things.
Maybe that was why we no longer fought.
Nate then went into his "OK, let's get serious" mode. He said that his career future was in New York...would I be interested in moving there in two years, after our son graduated high school?
My immediate, reactive thought was NO FUCKING WAY- give up John to move to New York?
It was as if John and I had two different relationships. I've put a lot of emphasis here on the sexual side of our bond, but there is a lot more. John and I have so many romantic moments- we talk, we share, we laugh.
I was in love with John. But did I love him?
There were more questions. One night John surprised me by first tying me up (something he had never done before) and then inserting a ball gag into my mouth. From there he whipped my behind with the kind of crop a jockey uses on a racehorse. The feelings of pain, helplessness, and desperation actually turned me on. If it hurt too much, I wouldn't be able to communicate that...and that was part of the turn on, as were the thin, red blister stripes that adorned my rear end the next day.
What the hell was the matter with me?
I found myself thinking back...the younger readers may not understand this, but when I was growing up it was common for parents to apply corporal punishment to their children. I got spanked, my brother got spanked, and our friends got spanked by their parents. It was just the way things were.
One night when I was twelve years old I was angry with my parents over something, and I retaliated by sneaking out of my bed in the middle of the night and watching TV in the living room. It was in the 70's, before we had cable, so I was flipping through the most boring shows imaginable until I heard my father storm down the stairs. There definitely was a moment of anticipation- was he going to spank me? At this hour? He did, and I woke up everyone in the house as I cried out when he struck his open hand into my pajama bottoms and spanked my behind.
My recollection of this event was always that it was an act of defiance, and that I'd won the battle- I got back at my parents by deliberately misbehaving, and when my father tried to retaliate he created a house-wide disruption. He gave me a spanking, but I knew I could take it. In my mind I'd come out on top, and I felt that everyone else knew it as well.