Introduction To Pain

I came to realise later I was terribly insecure growing up, and my way of handling it was to become quite brazen, and became a bully in School. That often got me into trouble with the Teachers, but one thing they couldn't fault me on was my marks, I didn't realize it then but I had a very high I.Q. and school work came easy to me and I assumed others were just stupid. I was to learn others handled their insecurity by withdrawing into themselves and became very shy and introverted as a result.

We all had our problems and just handled them in different ways. I recall in Grammar School I was almost taken away and sent to a Reform School for 'delinquent' girls. I recall the meeting my parents and I had with this group of about 5 people, one a Police man, and someone from Social services and the others from the School board. I remember as it was one of the few times I saw my Dad in a Suit, Tie and sober, and Mother in her Sunday best dress, my Aunt was there as well as another woman who spoke on my behalf. The outcome was I was given a warning about my behaviour, and told if I didn't change my attitude I would be sent away.

Once my parents got me home mother gave me a sound thrashing on my arse, and for the longest time after I was not allowed to go out in the evenings after school, or on weekends. When she could not be home Father was made to stay with me and that cut into his drinking time, but I didn't really have to worry about him other than the fact he would tell mother if I tried to go out, and she would come down on me like a ton of bricks. Their warning worked, as I did 'tone down' my attitude and became better behaved as far as the school people were concerned.

I had always been used to getting my own way from an early age with my Aunt when it I didn't get what I wanted, would throw a temper tantrum, (cookies or staying up late or whatever). It worked with her but not my mother as she was as tough as nails, and all it would get me from her was a beating if I didn't quit. However I'd discovered my Aunt was different and I learned to manipulate her.

Still this grounding made me very bitter towards my parents, as well as the Teachers who now had the freedom to tell Mother about any infractions in school, fortunately I was getting close to when I could legally leave school and found a job as a waitress. Life improved for me now I was out of school. At first there were still some restrictions on my freedom at first, but that changed as when Mother went out and my Father wend back to his drinking their priorities changed.

My friends older sister Sue had moved away to the bigger city around the time of my leaving school and when she would come home for a visit would talk it up about how wonderful it was compared to our home town that started me thinking about leaving home too. So by the time I turned 19 I was ready to leave home. I wrote to Sue about my plans and she invited me to come and stay with her till I found a job so I could afford a room of my own.

Once there it wasn't long before I gave up my virginity and started shagging, and was quick to realise I could use sex to get what I wanted from men if I played my cards right, and for the most part it worked as I was quite attractive, another thing that made me stand out from the crowd was I liked giving blow jobs. That was something a lot of women didn't indulge in in those days compared to today. Soon I came to the attention of a flashy Teddy Boy, as gang members were called in the U.K. in those days, and he always seemed to have money and didn't mind spending it on me.

The only problem with that was he seemed to think I was his property and that didn't go down too well with me, so I broke up with him. We had a terrible argument in the dance hall one night over it, and we got into a fight and the police arrived and separated us, and after that I stayed away. One night walking home they were waiting for me, it was dark out and I was grabbed and dragged into some bushes in a park beaten and raped.

Sue was the only person I felt I could trust and again she took me in and let me stay with her till my bruises healed, and after I was able to move to another part of the city, where fortune smiled on my when I found that job in the decent restaurant I mentioned before. Dealing with a better class of people helped as I started to dress more decently, and be more social to people as it was in my interests for my job's sake. I found I became quite successful at it although I still harbored a grudge towards the better class who I was now catering to in my job, but found it to be in my interests to be polite and get along with people, (mostly for the tips).

Catherine was the biggest influence in my changing my attitude towards society as she was from the upper classes, by my standards rich and educated. She taught me so much and did much to help me diffuse my anger towards the rich, and helped me integrate into their society. I had been conditioned in a way by working as a waitress in a better class restaurant

Then came Marlene, the point I'm at in my narrative of my life with you, she was good, she was tolerant and through watching my behaviour with Catherine in the pub, where Catherine always bought the drinks, or go fetch me some cigarettes etc., then when we started to converse she began to, "feel me out" or perhaps started to "channel my natural talents" into what I would eventually become.

I can't explain why I liked her, I just did I think because she talked to me like an equal rather than talking down to me as Teachers often did with younger people. As you now know we started to socialize with each other, her and Ruth, Me and Catherine became a regular foursome. Also she didn't mind sharing a joint with us, something I never thought the upper classes would even think about. It was like she would open those windows or doors to let me have a look inside then observe my reaction, and/or question me on my feelings.

One night I received a phone call that was becoming quite regular from her, we chatted a while and she invited me to go to a pictures with her. I was puzzled by this and questioned her about it and she explained it was a private showing with some other friends, and she thought I might be interested in going. I told her we were, (I was also starting to make decisions for Catherine as well by this time) and Marlene said, "good" and told me there was an admission charge of five shillings each. I found this hard to believe and questioned this as it was more than three times the price of going to the regular pictures. She said these were private pictures and that I would find it 'interesting'.

Anyway she convinced me to go, and I didn't mind the price too much as Catherine would be paying anyway as she usually did for our, "recreation". It was arranged we would drive over to her house and pick her and Ruth up, so we could all go to this persons house to see these 'pictures', and to pick up a couple of bottles of wine to take with us, as there would also be socializing with other people Marlene wanted me to meet.

I was unaware, and it never entered my head that some people might like being abused, that they actually enjoyed pain and in some cases humiliation, and to actually deliberately say or do things to cause me to respond like I did. Intellectually I was very bright, but obviously lacked the knowledge to understand those things.

Later the four of us, Marlene, Ruth, myself and Catherine became close friends and were to do a lot of socializing together in the vanilla world, as well as enjoy the delights of the 'other' world I was about to be introduced to.

I never though much about being invited to go to the pictures with her, except for the high cost, still she explained it was to be a private showing, as we would socialize with others too, and there would be snacks and to bring along some wine, so it sounded more like a party really.

The four of us were to go in Catherine's car, so we dressed in our finest as was normal in those days and drove to Marlene's. We went inside and Ruth served us some wine while we waited for Marlene to finish getting ready. She looked radiant in a button dress, wearing make up and her jewelery and for occasions like this a nice pair of open toed heels with the ankle straps that were popular back then.

She directed us to the house where the party was to be had and we were made very welcome by the couple who lived there. There were quite a few people there, men and women, some I recognized from the bars we had been frequenting, and Marlene did the rounds introducing me to a lot of others I hadn't met before.

Everyone was sipping drinks and chatting until a man showed up with a case and proceeded to set up an 8 MM projector against one wall, extra chairs were set up around the room wherever there was space and once he was ready he went around and collected the 5 shillings from everybody, counted the money then counted 'heads' to make sure everyone had paid.

We all crowded into the room, there was not enough chairs for everyone so a lot of people stood around the walls, we were lucky and managed to sit on chairs, then the lights were switched off and there was a hush as the flickering light from the projector lit up the opposite wall. It was soon apparent to me that I would be watching my very first sex film, they were foreign as obvious from the language, so I couldn't understand any dialogue and not that it mattered as it was hard to hear above the 'advice' and comments from the audience in the room, mostly coming from the ladies more than the men.

I was mesmerized by what I was seeing on the screen, not that I remember much anyway as I've since seen so many porno pictures. There were three or four films, each on it's own reel and lasted approximately half an hour. The usual two women on one man, or three men on one female in another etc. having sex every which way and in each opening.

The main feature was different and lasted over an hour, it was on two reels so there was a break in between while the man had to change reels and we could grab another drink and have a smoke.

It was a lesbian film with three women entertaining each other, they did everything imaginable women can do to each other. There was tit binding, bondage, rape scenes, flogging, spanking and whipping each others pussy, pissing on each other as well as drinking it. I was sitting forward on my chair, my eyes glued to the screen, my pussy aching for attention, the crotch of my knickers were soon soaked from my juices. I just had to touch myself and masturbated to the activity on the screen and brought myself off.

I was not alone either, it was obvious others were getting into it as well, it was hard to see, as the only light was the flickering light from the projector, and I was torn between wanting to watch the others and the picture at the same time. There was a lot of oral sounds too, not comments as much now as moans and heavy breathing

Once it was over someone put the room lights on, and some of the couples rushed out to find somewhere they could indulge them selves. A lot of the ladies clothes were undone where tits and crotches had been played with, as were some of the men's trousers. I don't remember much more other than I was amazed at how horny watching the film had made me, not only me but others too. We went into the kitchen to get some wine and even there a couple was shagging, the woman was bent over a chair and the man was pounding her good.

I could see Marlene had been affected by it too, we looked at each other and nothing was said, I guess she saw the lust in my eyes as she just smiled and raised her glass in a silent toast. We left shortly after and dropped Marlene and Ruth off then hurried home, I kept playing scenes from the picture over and over again in my head, my body still in a high state of arousal. Once inside the house we couldn't get our clothes off fast enough and Catherine and I attacked each other.

We fucked each other good, fought like tigers as the orgasms just seemed to keep cumming, I scratched, slapped and bit her, pulled her hair hard twisted her tits till she'd cry out as I was hurting her, but it just seemed to make her hornier and more aggressive with me and gave me a bit of my own back.

I don't remember much more, only it was late in the afternoon when I woke up and had to have a pee. I felt truly refreshed, on top of the world and returned to the bedroom where my Catherine was lying face down with one leg curled up, I was shocked to see her arse was all bruised where I had obviously hit her. There was raw flesh showing where I had raked my fingernails down her back and over her bum. I touched her gently and she woke up and turning over I was surprised to see her smiling, her tits were also bruised but here she was looking up at me smiling. I began to apologize for hurting her but she interrupted me saying something like, "Oh no Miss, I loved what you did, I needed that, we both needed that". She reached up for me and I lay down beside her and we began to make love again.

Gently this time I finger her pussy good feeling her wetness before climbing on top and gave her a good clit to clit humping. The sounds of our pleasure filling the room as scenes from the pictures kept flitting in and out of my head. Once we were both satisfied she got out of bed to go make tea and light the fire in the living room, then when the tea was ready brought it with toast and jam to me in bed. I sat up and invited Catherine to join me and we chatted about what we had seen and how it affected us.