Indiscretions

Thank you Jimmy, my Master for your help, as always, with the stories. If I'm really well behaved can we reenact them? lol

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I try to behave. I really do. But sometimes, when he leaves me alone with no release it is more than I can stand. My reasoning ability flees, and my body takes over and I become the slut he knows me to be. I knew I shouldn't have done it, made him so angry, I have no excuses, no explanations and the remorse I feel is worse than the punishment I know will come...or is it?

It had started three days ago when he came home in the middle of the day to find me naked, on our bed, vibrator in hand (and other places), and the fury he exuded at my disobedience and lack of control was palpable. I had just wanted to see one of his many videos in his private collection, but the scenes on the screen got me so hot I couldn't help myself, and sought release with my favorite vibrator. When I opened my eyes to see him standing over me, the shame I felt was immense, and his calm, quiet demeanor was even more intimidating than if he had raged at me.

"Who's pussy is that you're playing with?" he asked me in a deep, calm tone.

I was shaking, eyes wide, "Yours Sir."

"And I see you've been into my video collection. You know better than that, don't you slut?"

"Y-yes Sir," I stammered. I was so disappointed in myself, and his displeasure caused me great pain, pain that couldn't be felt on the flesh, but in the heart. "I'm so sorry Master, please forgive me." I could feel the tears welling in my eyes at his displeasure, but I knew this time I had went too far, and would have to be punished.

"I am going to have to punish you, you know that don't you?" his voice remained calm, disappointment evident.

"Yes Sir." I was afraid, but I knew if this was going to work I needed to be punished for my lack of control, and I desperately wanted his approval back. It was everything to me, pleasing him. I just didn't understand how I could be so willful and disobedient. When he was displeased with me my world felt off kilter, a bit unbalanced, and this caused me great anxiety. I needed to regain that balance in my head, and I knew he would help me to do that. I had a lot of work to do, and a lot of things to learn, about myself and about Him.

Several years ago I never would've in my wildest dreams thought I could be submissive to a man, to anyone for that matter. My mother had been submissive to my father, and I spent years trying to be anything BUT the way she had been. I worked in the medical profession and was directly responsible for the care and well-being of 62 people. I was capable of being in charge and in a responsible position in my work, but in my personal life my denial of my true nature was causing a lot of internal problems. I now know it has caused me a lot of trouble, anxiety and pain to deny my real and true self, and it took a lot of soul searching and time to finally accept it.

Meeting Jimmy had released me from those old habits of denial, and I had never been happier in my entire life. Learning through him and with him had been a wonderful experience. His gentle, loving domination of me had been an experience that changed my life, and he knew me like no other ever had. His patience with my childlike outbursts of temper were always evident, and for that I respected him even more. He always made me look at my behavior and the reasons behind it, and a lot of times we both ended up laughing at my silliness, but sometimes not. Sometimes I needed more help in being reminded of my commitment to being true to myself, and to Him. His steady, unwavering love helped me to overcome my insecurities about myself, and his firm hand was reassuring. He never let me damage myself or our relationship, and for that I was grateful.

But now, his true control over me was to be tested, would I accept it and grow with it? Or would I balk at it and turn backwards to my old behaviors. His words from three days ago still rang in my ears, and I could feel the internal struggle begin. Sometimes it felt as if a war raged in my head between the extreme desire to please Him, and the nagging willfulness that had made me so unhappy in the past. He knew of my struggles, and his calm, quiet tone helped me to maintain my composure and not fall completely apart because of my indiscretion.

Sometimes, after he made a request of me that tested my boundaries, he would remain still and quiet, and let me come to terms with it in my own thoughts before he required an action or an answer. Somehow he always knew when I was struggling, and when I made the right choices his pride in me made me ecstatic. I needed that serene, balanced, happy feeling back, and I would try with all my ability to endure my punishment, for him and ultimately...for me, because His pleasure was my pleasure, and in pleasing him, I pleased myself.

"This is about a lot more than you watching my videos and using the vibrator. This is about your lack of control and your blatant disregard for my specific instructions! Do you understand that slut!?" His voice was still low, but the anger and power behind it were easily felt. His eyes never left mine as he asked me the question, I could see the light blueness of them looking right into my thoughts, they were the lightest blue I had ever seen, but now they were shooting daggers. He was pissed, and he had every right to be.

I could not hold his gaze, my eyes fell to the floor and I answered again, "Yes Sir."

"Do you have anything to say for yourself slut?" he asked me. "I disobeyed you and I know I will have to be punished. Please Sir, punish me now!!!! I need your forgiveness, I am so sorry!" I fought back the desire to fall at his feet and beg for punishment. It was that stubborn pride again, not letting me do what I wanted and needed. I still clung to one last bit of it, and it was what caused me the most problems. I needed to let go, to surrender my will to his, and I needed his help in doing so.

He was quiet for several moments, then said, "I think we will wait till the weekend for your punishment. I want you to think strongly about your behavior over the next few days, and I will NOT give you pleasure during this time, but you will pleasure Me when I want it, as always. Do you understand me?"

I was still naked, kneeling on the bed, my eyes still on the floor. "Yes Sir." The thought of prolonged anticipation and lack of relief from the terrible feeling I had produced from disobeying him made me cry, and I could feel the tears running down my face. I ventured a look up at his face, and he turned away and strode from the room. My heart was breaking, I had disappointed him and the pain I felt was immeasurable.

The next few days were torture. He treated me politely, but was distant, and I could still feel his disappointment when he looked at me. I was allowed to suck his cock and receive his cum in my mouth, but he would not fuck me, or touch me tenderly at all, and of course I would NEVER dare to touch his property without his permission again. I was learning my lesson well, but I was soon to find out I would learn this particular lesson in a way that would never let me forget.

When I got home from work Friday night, he informed me that he had invited another couple to join us for dinner the following day. I was very surprised with this news, as I had been nervously awaiting the weekend to be done with my punishment, and get things back on an even keel. But I knew better than to question his statement, and I readily agreed to his specific instructions on what to serve, and what to wear.

I spent Saturday preparing for our guests, shopping and cooking, and readying myself as he had specified. I was to wear a simple sundress, bare legs, sandals and the collar. I didn't know who the guests were that were coming to our home for dinner, I had never met them before, and I was a little embarrassed to wear the collar in front of others. He had always requested that I wear it at home but never out in public, and I was nervous, but accepting of his desire.

I stood before the full length mirror in our bedroom and was attempting to fasten the clasp at the back of my neck when I felt his hands reach for the collar and fasten it, lingering on my neck and trailing down my shoulders. He had the collar made for me and I loved it. It was black leather, soft and supple with several emeralds embedded around the leather. He had said the emeralds reminded him of my eyes when he first put it on me. It was the first time in days he had touched me with such tenderness, and I could feel the tears filling my eyes as he stood behind me and held me. His arms were around my waist, and his lips were against my neck. He kissed my neck and raised his head to look at me in the mirror.

"You will feel better soon my slut," he said. "Thank you Master, it has been a long past few days. I am so very sorry you were displeased with me." I couldn't help letting a sob escape my lips.

"Yes, I was very displeased, but today we will end it. I want you to trust me and know that the punishment you will receive today is to help you surrender, and to become what and who you really are. You are MINE and I love you."

Now the tears were flowing freely, he never ceased to touch my heart and I would do anything to regain his confidence in me. I knew I belonged to this man, his words were true, I was His. And I also felt a great relief that today I would indeed receive my punishment and it would be over. I was just confused as to why he had invited guests into our home on this day, but I would not question his motives. They were His, and I trusted him.

"I love you too Master." I said. I was trying very hard to hold back the tears, but the feeling in my chest was painful, and it was difficult.

"I'm going to give you a safe word today, and if you need to use it at any time I want you to. Understand?" he asked me.

"Yes Sir, I understand." I replied, nodding my head and brushing the tears away with my hands.

"Your safe word is Grace, if you want what is happening at ANY time to stop, you will say that word and it will end. But I want you to be brave and trust me, and know that I punish you for your own good, so you can achieve the peace of mind I know you desire."

"Yes Sir." And with that we went into the foyer to greet our arriving guests. They were a fairly young couple, he was about 30 and she was about 25, and I was relieved to see that she wore a collar as well. It was apparent that she was his submissive, she was a sweet girl and her Master was polite and courteous to me as he entered our home.

We enjoyed a simple dinner on the deck, overlooking the river, with quiet conversation and good food. I found that I enjoyed the other couple's company. She was sweet and polite, and he seemed courteous and very caring of his young submissive. The girl, Ann offered to help me clear the dishes when the meal was finished and as we cleaned up in the kitchen we chatted a bit. She had been with John, Jimmy's friend, for a year and they were to be joined together with the Ceremony of the Roses later in the summer.

I had heard of this ceremony, but never witnessed it, and thought the blood on the white rose to be very beautiful and the entire ritual to be very symbolic of this rather different lifestyle we had willingly chosen. I was very pleased when she said she'd like us to attend the ceremony and witness their joining together. We didn't know each other well, but we both felt the bond that was to be forged between us already. Sometimes that just happens so naturally, people meet and recognize something in each other that is good and true, and rare friendships bloom from that recognition. I think we both felt that to be the case, and later we would find it to be true, after we had shared a very powerful experience.

Then, the conversation turned to the present when she asked me, "Are you scared?" in a very quiet voice.

"Of what?" I asked her.

"Of your punishment. That is why John told me we were to come here tonight, so that I could witness your punishment and learn from it." Anne said.

"Well," I replied, "I wasn't sure exactly what His intentions were, but now I guess I know. And to answer your question, yes I am a little scared, but I know He would never do anything to harm me and I also know I am deserving of the punishment." And when I saw the wide eyed look of fear on her face I said, "Don't worry Ann, he won't push me farther than I can go, and remember, I am a willing participant." I took her hands in mine and asked her, "Has he ever bound you before?" meaning her Master.

"Yes, he's bound me, but he's never used the flogger or the crop on me, and I fear that's what he's brought me here tonight for...to see it used on you. I like you, and I am fearful that you will be hurt," Anne said softly, worry evident on her face.

I knew then that I had made a very dear friend that evening, a sister of the heart, as I recognized her genuine caring and kindness that only a truly submissive heart can see. We feel the pain of others more than most, and it's not always an easy burden to carry. It brings with it great joy and also great pain, but it is worth every tear to feel the joy. There would be no petty jealousness in our friendship so inherent in other woman to woman relationships, there would be only caring, and love and concern. It is a rare thing between women, and it is beautiful.

"Do not be afraid Ann," I told her as I hugged her trying to calm her fears, "there is only love in this house. He will not hurt me more than I can bare. My learning has no end, there is no perfect submission, it is a process not an end product, and to proceed and grow I NEED to learn better control. He does this for ME, because he knows in the end I will benefit from it. He's already given me the safe word, and I know he would honor it always."

"May I ask what the safe word is?" she asked me.

"Yes, of course, it's Grace. He knows it's from a line in my favorite poem so that is why he chose it." She asked me about the poem so I told her the line from it that was my favorite, "And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the GRACE of a woman and not the grief of a child...."

"That's beautiful" she said and we both smiled. Just then we heard the men approaching. We both turned to our Masters and the love on our faces were mirrors of each other. We both knew what it was to give this gift of submission, and we both felt lucky to have men in our lives who understood the beauty of it.

Jimmy looked at me and said, "You are to go downstairs now." There was no mistaking his tone. This was it, the time had come for my punishment to begin. I did not hesitate for a moment as I replied, "Yes Sir," and headed for the stairs leading to our basement. As I headed down the steps I heard John tell Ann the same thing, and she followed me down the steps. We waited at the bottom for further instructions.

As I looked into His eyes for a cue on what I should do he said, "Go to the mat, and take off your dress."

I immediately went to the soft mat he had placed on the floor, it was like a wrestling mat, took off my dress and tossed it aside. He approached me and raised my hands to the cuffs that dangled from the chains he had in the ceiling, my hands were bound and I grasped the handles that were within the chains. I was bound, hands above my head, naked except for my collar. I looked toward the table where I knew he kept his things, searching for the blindfold.

He knew what I was seeking, but he said, "There will be no blindfold this time my slut. You will look upon the faces of our guests and Mine during your punishment." He knew I liked to be blindfolded, it gave me a sense of peace and made it easier to turn inward when it was in place. I looked toward John and Ann and saw that she too had been instructed to remove her clothing, and she stood naked as her Master bound her hands behind her back. She stood before me, just off the mat, we looked into each others eyes and I could see the fear there. I wondered what she saw in mine.

The silence in the room was deafening, as I watched Him walk to his table and select the implement of my punishment. It was to be the suede flogger then. My hands held the leather handles tightly, I could feel my fingernails digging into my skin where they met around the handles. I made myself relax, it wasn't easy. He was behind me, and the sting of the first blow was bitingly hard. A sob escaped my lips.

"You are to remain silent slut!" he commanded. The blows continued to rain down on my buttocks and upper thighs, over and over, the stinging pain was immense. I looked at Ann and saw how huge her eyes looked, she looked as if she might faint, but she held steady. Now the blows were on my upper back and shoulders, I felt as if blood must be running down my back with the icy hot stinging cracks being the only sound in the room, but of course it wasn't. He would not lacerate my skin.

He was working up a sweat and removed his shirt and tossed it aside as he strode around to the front of me. I felt the bite of the flogger on my breasts and the front of the my thighs. The pain was immense as he whipped at my breasts and the tip of the suede wrapped around and snapped painfully at my nipple. It was all I could do to keep from screaming the safe word...it loomed in my mind and I fought very hard to keep it from escaping my lips....Grace...grace. My hold on the handles were the only thing keeping me up, as my legs were shaking uncontrollably and felt very weak. He then started whipping me lightly on my pussy, the sharp stings were very arousing, and I felt myself begin to get wet.

"See how she becomes wet with her flogging?" he asked John. "Maybe your slut should feel that for herself." My eyes flew to him, we had never had others join us before in this way, but I remained silent, as instructed. Ann stepped forward as told to do by her Master, and her fingers lightly touched my smooth shaven pussy, parting the lips, and sliding across the wetness. My Master went to the table again, and retrieved the vibrator I had used so indiscretely three days ago. He slid it easily into my dripping wet pussy and turned it on. My breathing increased, and I could feel my heart beating so fast in my chest.

"You are NOT to cum until I say slut!" he told me firmly, and then he went to the back of me and inserted the plug into my rectum. The full feeling and the pulsing vibrations in my pussy were almost more than I could take as I felt myself being pulled toward orgasm. I fought it, and tried to keep my mind focused away from it, trying so hard not to fall into that hole and go past the point of no return.

"You have taken the flogger well my slut, and now you are going to feel the crop. You will remain silent, and you will NOT cum." he told me. I saw him reach for the crop from the table, and he gestured to his friend John, who was telling Ann what he wanted her to do.

Ann stepped forward again, onto the mat in front of me. Her hands had been released and she removed the pulsating vibrator from my pussy, turning it off and reaching it up to my mouth as my lips fell open as she gently stuck it into my mouth. I understood what was expected of me, and I licked my own juices from the toy. She then knelt down before me and parted my labia with her fingers as she bent her lips to my wet pussy, stroking it with her tongue, and gliding across my clitoris.

With each lap of her tongue on my clit I felt the sting of the crop as Master rained the blows down onto my ass. It took every ounce of control I had not to cum, as I fought back that pressure of impending orgasm. I could feel her tongue repeatedly licking over my clitoris and sliding into my wetness, the sensation was incredible, and I wanted so badly to have release, I wanted to beg Him for it, but I knew I needed to remain silent and in control as that is what he wanted, but I was breathing fast and rapidly loosing control.