** All fictional characters are over 18.
** Trigger warnings: rape, guns, chasing, degradation.
SMS: "I know where you are. I will pick you up today."
"Have you lost your mind? Like, you say a lot of crazy shit, but if this one is real, I might have to start paying closer attention."
My best friend isn't kidding. I put the phone back in my lap and reconsider my decision to show her the text from Him.
"He's here somewhere, now? Stalking you?" She asks, pointing generally to the patriotic crowd jockeying for shade around us. We are at a huge, local celebration on July 4th. It's a big draw for the town and creates an almost carnival-like atmosphere.
"I doubt it, but I also don't think it's really stalking if you're in on it. I'm sure it's just sexting fun. We haven't seen each other in months. Really. It's not a thing." I reply dismissively, secretly hoping I am wrong.
"Oh, I hope it's not a thing. I don't like the way you seem about this one. It's weird." she quips with a bit of knowing side eye.
Again, she isn't kidding. I am weird about this one. He is not like any man I have ever met, and he makes me think and feel and act like no one I have ever met. I am your classic independent woman: educated, corporate job, well-traveled, manners, all that stuff. I have straightforward relationships with gentlemen who open doors and compliment me and send "good morning, beautiful!" texts.
But that version of myself does not seem to exist with this man. Somewhere between, "Can I have your real phone number?" and "I know where you are," I became the willing participant in a "relationship" with a man who does whatever he wants, all the time. And I can't get enough of him.
It feels obscene and shameful to hope a man will abduct and ravish me. Women work everyday to avoid just this thing. But to think I could be His target makes me so hot. I have to pull the brim of my hat down to cover the blush in my cheeks.
Everything about dating, (is that what this is?) Him has been different. Just the fact that He is/was in the military is new for me. But Special Forces? Military acronyms. So many guns. All foreign to me, but the really new thing is the way He makes me feel.
On our first date, I was excited to be sharing a pizza with a really cool guy, like maybe he was probably too cool for a nerdy, business girl like me, actually. At ease and funny, nice to the waitress, and so hot. Dear god. But I quickly discovered that this calm and disarming "chill vibes" demeanor distracts from a lethal, always-on interior.
"Come sit on this side of the table, next to me." He pulled up the chair next to him.
"I'm sorry, what?" I ask him with a coughing laugh and a sip of my gin & tonic. We were half-way through our meal and having a great time. I thought this might be when he shows me his funny side.
He locked eyes with me pointedly and put his hand on the back of the chair next to him. "Let's not act like you don't know what I said."
I was speechless.
No man, woman or AI product has EVER.
EV-ER talked to me like that.
And dear god, did I love it.
I wanted it.
I felt my heartbeat between my legs and my jaw drop.
Give me more of whatever this feeling is, you sexy beast.
And that's all I have thought about since, and all I am thinking about now, as I hide both blush and desire behind the brim of my floppy, straw hat.
With the last screaming firetruck of the parade moving past us, my best friend leans over to me, giving the universal signal for "I've had enough of this and am about to bail."
I hold up my hand.
"I get it. No need to explain. Parades and fireworks and all that are my things." I reassure her preemptively. "I am fine to watch the rest solo, and I have plans with friends later for the fireworks. So, you are good to go."
She laughs in relief. "Yay. Thank you for understanding. I'm heading straight for a shower and air conditioning."
"I'll text you later.. " I shout at her quickly disappearing head. She wastes no time in getting the hell out of the heat.
I am happy to sit alone, people watching, listening to the bands and contemplating my crazy crush:
SMS: "I know where you are. I will pick you up today."
I can't help but keep looking at my phone. Fuck, that is hot. He makes things so fun, even if it's just pretend. I smile to myself and giggle, touching my flaming cheek with the back of my hand. But is it pretend? Why do I think this is a joke?
How could it not be a joke? That delicious man has better things to do than to stalk and abduct a silly woman with a crush. He's clearly only enjoying your naive affections. You should stop embarrassing yourself by continuing to consider it.
Again, though. I don't think he's a prankster. He wasn't kidding when he told me to come sit next to him on our first date. And he certainly wasn't kidding when he then took my hand and put it on his hardening cock. "Rub my cock while I talk to you," He directed.
I started to look around the restaurant to assess the exposure, but He quickly put an end to that.
"Eyes on me."
"Are you fucking kidding me? I don't just rub a random man's cock in a sports bar for all to see." I whispered fiercely.
"That's funny, because that's exactly what you're doing. And we both know that I'm not just any man," He teased.
"Besides, I can see everyone in here, and they are not looking at us. And anyone who is looking at us, just wants to join," He explained, kissing my neck and ear.
There is something about knowing this man can handle anything that completely undoes me. I cannot tell him no. I don't want to tell him no. I just want to do what he says and please him.
With the final celebratory musket shot, the parade ends, and so do the hot memories of our first date. Tossing my bag and chair over my shoulder, I start the long trek back to my car. I love walking, not dealing with traffic, and my path runs through the town gardens. It's completely out of the way, but it's zero stress, I've walked it hundreds of times, and I'm not alone. Most of the town is headed the same way.
At the next light, though, the crowd turns right to make its way to the harbor. I am going straight, heading away and into the gardens. I start across the street, and my phone alerts to a text:
