My name is Kara. I am a 39 year old married mother of two kids, living in the Midwest. I have red hair with hazel eyes, an average build and perky 36C's! Some have described me as a MILF, and I can turn heads for sure! I've always had fantasies, and they've always been a bit restrained. I grew up in a conservative environment and I feel as if my sexuality was a bit repressed. For a while, I was able to happily repress it, but I've been restless in recent years. My fantasies of submission and certain roleplay ideas haven't stayed put away in the corner of my mind where I wanted them to stay. I've turned to chatting online, and those experiences were somewhat satisfying, but I never found what I really wanted and needed. Until recently, that is. One day about a month ago, I was chatting, and got involved in a roleplay with a guy that just seemed different. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, but there was just something unique there, and I liked it.
After chatting for a while, I gave him my phone number, and that only intrigued me more. I was usually hesitant to give too much personal information in prior chat experiences, but he blew me away with his sensuality and the overall effect he had on me. I wanted more. One chat became another chat, and one phone call became another, until I realized that I needed him. I needed his powerful presence and I needed him to make me submit. Eventually, I got what I wanted, even though I've never submitted to anyone before. In fact, I'm so used to being in control all the time, but this just seems right and I can't help myself. I am ready to shed my former conservative lifestyle and be a completely loyal and obedient slut who serves him. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, and I won't leave my husband and kids, but I need more. And it is Master who gives it to me. When we are together, he is the center of my universe. He lives a state away, but I consider chatting or talking on the phone to him to be my way of being with him. He has made me discover things about myself, things I had never imaged I'd want, need, or crave. In addition to finding my need to submit,
Master has awakened a curiosity about women in me. I will always love being with a man, but with Master's help, I'm willing to explore my bi-curiosity. Even though I have told Master that I don't really like women, he knows that it's just a façade, and that I will try women to please him and I know that I'll likely even enjoy it! You see, Master has the ability to see things in me no one else has. He truly is in my head, anticipating my thoughts, curiosities, and desires.
Master has asked me to write a journal to keep track of my thoughts and desires. This is the first entry in that journal. This first entry comes from a day in which I had disappointed him. This is actually a couple of entries from the entire day:
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Master isn't pleased with me today. I'm upset and angry with myself for disappointing him. I know better, but let my fears get in the way of serving. I questioned my desire to please him, which is in a way like questioning him. I never thought of it this way, but now that I do, I know that I am worthy of punishment.
He has made me use the clamps once today, as a part of today's punishment. I really don't like the clamps. Master likes the way that they look, but my nipples are so sensitive that they hurt so badly! I would only endure this kind of punishment from Master. If it were anyone else, I'd tell them exactly where to go! But I do this to please Master, and I have let him down today. Another part of my punishment is fucking myself with one of my vibrators, and to do so multiple times throughout the day. I'm not allowed to cum without Master's permission, and it's one of many rules I have to obey at all times. Because I'm being punished today, I know that won't be allowed to cum no matter what I do, and I don't deserve to cum. It's so hard to not cum! My vibrator feels so good inside my wet pussy . . . I mean, my wet cunt! Master loves it when I refer to it as my cunt, because he says that's the way that nasty little sluts like myself should talk. He even calls me a cunt sometimes, which is so humiliating, but it makes me so wet when he calls me that. Master tells me that I'll be able to control my orgasms better in the future with more training, but I sometimes don't know how to stop myself from cumming! I'm not quite used to having my orgasms restricted yet.
When I'm fucking myself, alone like this, I hate it. When Master is here, even just listening, I love it. I love that he's hearing me, getting hard, and maybe even going to give me the pleasure of allowing me to make him cum. Without him, this is just a punishment. It's humiliating, and I deserve it.
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