I lay still, I stayed at the Messer House on the nursery grounds. It was built in 1952 by Frank's grandmother. A powerful woman. This house a monument to what she accomplished. A war widow with seven children she turned the full section wheat farm into a thriving nursery. She sold starter shrubs to the contractors and bedding plants to the new suburbanites.
The sky is turning dove grey to the east. The first of the birds are beginning their calls, one to the next as if announcing the coming of the new day. I watch the window for the first hints of color, I won't pull myself out of bed before the sun entices me.
I see the first hints of purple and orange. I stand at the window watching the world come to life. I love the color of morning. It seeps into you, fills you with this sense of wonder. The colors layer upon layer, bumping into each other. The sun follows pushing the colors up until they fade away when you forget to look.
It's my twenty fifth wedding anniversary, half my life, married. There is a lot to reflect on. Frank and I will have a quiet dinner at the yacht club. I got him an antique watch and cuff links.
Frank Messer, my husband is a gay man, twenty years my senior. I have know this since long before I married him. At the time I thought I was simply non-sexual. I have learned since that I am primarily asexual. Although I am truly aroused by a submissive male, I rarely have any desire for their sexual touch.
Frank Messer needed a wife to stifle the gay rumors. They were threatening to put him out of business. It was the eighties in the Motor city, the world around us was homophobic. A lot of it still is. At a time when other States are approving same sex marriage, Michigan has banned it.
A woman in charge of a multi-million dollar business was new. A young woman in charge unheard of. I was barely eighteen when I had to take over. An only child my parents were killed in a helicopter accident in Hawaii over Christmas vacation. On December 30th I buried my parents, on January 2nd a blizzard hit and I had to handle our response. I have been in charge ever since.
Findier Property Management, I have done well. From four apartment buildings in 1984 to over a thousand properties at last count,seventy of them complexes.
Frank became a source of support. He handled the landscaping for all four buildings. We met weekly, to review the bill and pay him. It was unnecessary, really, we had a contract, and bills get paid as submitted. But, it had been that way since my parents first hired his company in the sixties, still is.
Our first date was the Mayor's fireworks party. Frank was complaining about having to find a date for the event. I was in the same boat, dreading trying to find a date myself. I suggested we go together. We went to all public functions together after that.
Six years later a social columnist headline prompted our marriage. "Frank Messer gay? Carol Findier his beard?" We threw a lavish event at the Nursery. It was the eighties that ended all rumors. We never hid any thing from each other, just the rest of the world. Frank's mate was our best man, and I love Edward every bit as much as I love Frank.
My alarm goes off pulling me back to the present. My calendar is full. I will finalize the arrangements for the fourth of July weekend open house. It's the biggest event at the Nursery all year. The four day party will include several charity events, plenty of free events, and fireworks.
I pull a white sheath from my closet. Plain sheath dresses in a rainbow of colors hang on the upper rack, suit jackets on the lower. It's my work uniform, easy, comfortable, and always chic. I grab a cute cropped red gingham jacket, and navy pumps.
Deep in paperwork I am lost in thought when the phone rings. I picked it up mindlessly, "Carol Messer, how can I help you?" It's Edward, he sounds like he's crying.
"Carol, Frank's had a heart attack you need to come to Beaumont." My heart is in my mouth, and I hear myself answer woodenly. My secretary Bella notice my state as I head out of the office without a word.
"Carol, what's wrong?" She chases after me and grabs my shoulder to get my attention. She ends up driving my to the hospital. Edward is waiting outside the ER for me. Tears still streaming down his face.
"Why aren't you with him? He shouldn't be alone." I ask as Edward pulls me into a hug.
"I'm not his spouse, parent or child they won't let me in." I gasp, and hug him tighter.
"I am so sorry, let's get in there." Hand in hand we go in. Edward has been Frank's partner for forty years. What a world they have had to deal with.
When we leave Frank is resting comfortably. They have cleared several blocked arteries. He's going to recover. I walk Edward back to his car, he pulls me into arms."Carol, your a wonderful wife to us. Thank you for an amazing twenty five years."
I kiss his cheek, run my hand over the soft ends of his snow white crew cut, and smile."I love you too Edward."
This seems to be a day full of reflection. It's a thirty minutes drive up the avenue to the Waterfront Condo. I love this drive. From thirteen mile to the river you see life in all its forms. From the National Shrine of the Little Flower, and the affluent suburbs, to Ferndale and its diverse alternate lifestyle, through some of the worst neighbors, past Hockeytown, through the cultural center, ending at Hart Plaza, the base of the river front.
I hang my purse on the hook next to the door, throw my keys in the tray on the table. The smell of fresh coffee is wafting in the air. Jessie is home, he's been staying here a lot since his sister left for camp. I head for the kitchen. He has a salad sitting in front of my place at the table, it's a beautiful anti pasta plate. I am sure Janet left it in the refrigerator, Jessie doesn't cook.
"Edward called, he accidentally picked up your keys to the office, he didn't want you to worry. I figure you've had a long day and neglected yourself. Please eat. Is there anything else I can do for you?" Jessie has become very adept at caring for me over the last three weeks.
