Her True Self

Rules and Punishment: Complete Control

The third rule and most important one after the two fundamental rules, was that she was to always follow any of his instructions without question or hesitation, even if the instruction would cause her to break a rule (which she would still be punished for). He had told her that if she ended up breaking a rule do to an instruction it probably meant that she was not following that rule in the first place, so an instruction should never be used as an excuse for disobedience.

If she for some reason did not follow an instruction or a rule, hesitate even for an instance to follow a command, or in case of some rules did not try hard enough she would earn a demerit. Each demerit was worth a spanking or whipping with the number of whippings or spankings determined by the number of demerits she had earned in the day and the severity of the disobedience. Usually each demerit was worth ten strokes of the hand or whatever implement he chose. In addition, every fifth demerit also earned her a piercing; this was a way for her to always have a visual reminder of her disobedience.

At the end of the day she was to always write down all of her demerits and what earned them in her journal. She would then read him the entries and beg to be punished for them. During her begging she would have to call herself every disparaging word and term she knew and how she was not worthy of even wasting his time. When he administered the punishment she was always told to count out the number of strokes out loud and thank him after each one. If she forgot to count or thank him, or if she lost count then they would start over, and another demerit would be added for inattentiveness.

The journal was also used to write down all the humiliating and degrading things that happened to her during the day and how she felt about each one. He would use the journal entries to determine which things he liked and which ones he wanted to do less off. Plus, as he told her, she would later be able to look back at what she had to experience in the beginning and be thankful for how easy he took it on her compared to what he had planned for her in the future.

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When it came to dress there were very specific instructions for different situations and different times.

It all started with the shoes. She was always to wear one of her now many high-heeled and platform shoes, especially her platform stilettos. Every shoe she got had to be approved by him and only shoes that were a half size too small and with heels over 4 inches were allowed.

She was to wear her heels no matter what she was doing, with the only exception being work and her gym sessions. Initially he had allowed her to not wear her shoes when they were in bed, but now she had been wearing them to sleep and only really being without them in gym and when she was changing from one pair to another. She was had become so used to the heels that her feet had started to hurt when she was not wearing them.

When she went to work, she was to wear one of her permitted high heeled shoes and kept a pair of black sneakers that were required by McDonalds as part of her uniform in her locker. If no one, especially the manager, made her change into the sneakers she was to wear her embarrassing and uncomfortable shoes; only if a manager insisted, was she then to change into the sneakers. Even if the manager persisted that she wears the sneakers, she was just to change for the day, but the following day she was to try to wear her high-heeled shoes again. This resulted in her being told many times to change her footwear to something more appropriate, but then the managers started to tire of telling her all the time to change and started ignore her heels, thus leaving her now mostly wearing her 6 and 7 inch platform sandals (she had bought a couple of pairs in different bright neon colors and a pair that was completely clear from an online store that catered to fetish and stripper-wear).

When she did have to wear the sneakers that were part of her work uniform, he had even modified them to cause maximum discomfort. Not only were they a half size too small, but he had removed the insole and applied glue to the inside of the whole shoe and then sprinkled kitty litter on top of the glue until the whole inside was lined with the kitty litter. This made the inside of the sneaker have an extremely rough texture that made walking in the sneakers extremely uncomfortable and if worn for the entire work shift ended up causing extreme discomfort. This made her try even harder to keep her heels on, even though they were small and tight and caused their own brand of extreme discomfort, at least she was used to it.

For her required gym workouts she was to wear her heels to the gym class, but she was then allowed to exercise barefoot or in socks, depending on how far her instructor would let her go, but she was not allowed any other change in her footwear other then the heels. This caused her to tell the instructor a couple of times that she had no sneakers at all and only had heels, which is why she needed to exercise barefoot. Her gym classes had turned into their own humiliating spectacle, and not only because of the shoes. The outfit for gym usually consisted of an extremely small and bright leotard; one of her brightly colored leg warmers or knee socks, which were more appropriate for a schoolgirl uniform; and sometimes if she was lucky very tight gym shorts or one of her ultra small skorts. When she started to sweat the entire outfit almost became transparent and all her tattoos and piercings were especially evident and on display, making her the constant butt of laughter and jokes by the other women in her gym classes.

The small size and high heel, especially the extreme high heels that were 7 and 8 inches in height, caused her feet to always ache no matter what she was doing. This constant pain in her feet was a way to remind her of the place that she occupied in the world and to always keep her mind focused on insuring that she was bringing pleasure to others and not thinking about her own.

In her former life the shoes that she bought were always the most fashionable if not the most comfortable that she could find. All her friends were always jealous of how her parents let her spend many hundreds of dollars on her footwear, at all times she was the trend setter. Now however, whenever someone looked at her one of the initial things that they noticed was the ridiculously uncomfortable footwear she wore, something that they would only expect on a stripper and then only when she was performing.

However, her whole life had now become a performance and an exhibition of her body for others to look at and for her to always feel embarrassed and self-conscious. Even with this degrading exhibition of her assets she had not even had a though wanting to stop it, instead the humiliation just served to turn her on even more, creating an adrenaline rush that had become her addiction. It was an addiction that did not go away, but grew and made her desire more and more of it.

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To complicate and make the footwear rule even more uncomfortable and painful on her he did not allow her to use, sit or lie down on the floor or any furniture. Unlike normal people who could sit or lie down on a couch, bed, chair, or even a floor; she would always need to ask for permission. She realized that even dogs could jump up on a couch or lie down whenever or wherever they wanted, but her life was now that of the lowest of creatures, only doing what she had been told.

Whenever she was not doing something, and this was a rare occasion, she was to squat down with her feet shoulder length apart and her now almost always high-heeled platform wearing feet firmly planted on the ground. Her butt cheeks were to be touching the tops of the shoes, but never touching the ground. He back was to be straight and her head bowed with her eyes focused directly on her toes. This caused her entire weight to always be on her already tired and aching feet.

The other rule, which all but guaranteed that here feet never got rest, was that when in the rare occurrence that she was allowed to be without her too small, extremely uncomfortable and high-heeled shoes, she was to always arch her feet and curl her toes, like a gymnast or ballerina.

This meant that when she, for whatever reason, was allowed to take off her shoes and her feet were not touching the ground she was to always keep her toes pointed and the arch of her foot extremely curved. This rule even applied to when she was allowed to lay down. Initially her feet crammed up, especially her calves, but over time she had become more used to it and now was able to hold her toes curled up and the foot of her arch extremely curved for much longer periods of time.

When she was barefoot and her feet were touching the ground, she was always required to be on her tippy toes, and this included when she was working out.

This rule in particular was extremely difficult on her, because of the unnatural foot and toe position, and because of the muscle strength she had to build up to stay on her tippy toes or hold the proper foot position when not touching the floor for any significant length of time. She had until recently earned a lot of demerits for not fully following this rule.

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Her clothing was another area of her life that was now fully controlled and totally used to help in her humiliation and degradation. It had become another area which could be used to expose and display her body to onlookers, another place where an extreme deviation from her previous life had taken place. She used to wear the latest fashions and the most stylish clothing and used to be the envy of all who knew her or saw her, but now she had become the laughing stock and the one who everybody pointed to and starred at, not in admiration but in amusement and even aversion.

The main rule when it came to clothing was that she was to always be naked, with the exception of her shoes, unless given permission that said otherwise. Work was the only exemption, with her work uniform allowed but of course without a bra or other underwear.

She was required to wear a very tight, 1 and 1/8th inch wide chocker/collar, which had a D-ring in the middle and inch long spikes all around. To take it off she needed to get his permission, but rarely did, since he really enjoyed how uncomfortable it made her feel to have to wear it all the time and even sleep in it. The spikes made it still more uncomfortable for that rare time she got to lie down or when she went to sleep; digging into her chin, back of the head or shoulders if she was not careful.

In all other situations, she always had to ask for permission to wear clothing and then to ask for approval for the clothing she chose to wear once she got the permission. Although most of the time he would instruct her on what to wear, whenever he didn't she was expected to select something that would be extremely humiliating and if he deemed it not to be degrading enough then it would count as a demerit and would be punished, after which she would get to select again, until approval was received.

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When she had just moved in with him the only clothing she was allowed to bring were the items that she had grown out off, yet managed to keep, and the ones which were too small, but were not yet thrown out. All items were inspected upon her arrival for appropriateness and if they did not meet his approval they were immediately bagged to give to the homeless.

Almost all the articles of clothing that she now owned were designed for pre-teens, tweens and juniors. He had purposely wanted to make sure that all of her clothing upon a first glance would give off the appearance of an innocent, good little girl, but upon closer look you would realize that it was worn by a girl that was in her late teens and had on other things which were as adult and pornographic as you could get. It was again his way of trying to play up the difference between her innocent, youthful look and the embarrassing, vulgar, and slutty appearance he had now given her.

She still could never stop from blushing at the humiliation that she felt whenever she was outside in her stripper sandals or heels, wearing a Hello Kitty T-shirt that barely came to under her breasts and was so tight it looked like it was going to rip at the seams, and one of her extremely small skirts or ultra tight shorts that made a pair of daisy dukes look prudish. Some of his favorites were her boy shorts that were two sizes to small and barely covered her ass cheeks and mesh and jersey shorts that helped to create a perverse contrast between her little girl clothing, her stripper shoes, colored pigtails, and her other physical changes, which only acted to help attract more unwelcomed yet at the same time addictive attention, which she now craved.

To that already embarrassing attire, he additionally required her to wear at least three toe rings, a minimum of three anklets, and more than five bangle bracelets, which were usually brightly neon colored, plastic things she bought at Wal-Mart. He would then pile on by making her alter her outfits to make them even more degrading. Alterations would usually mean cutting off the bottom of a T-shirt or a dress to make them cover even less than they already did, cutting slits up the sides of her shorts and skirts, and one of his favorite, which was to completely cut a side open in a skirt, dress or shirt and have her hold it together using safety pins or pieces of string. The goal of the alterations was to expose as much of her body as possible without having her be arrested for public indecency.

Usually she was to go without stockings or socks, but on rare occasion when she was allowed those items, she now only had to choose from thigh high socks, fishnet or fencenet stockings. He really liked how whenever she wore the thigh high socks (usually in bright striped colors) she looked so innocent, while whenever she wore here fishnet or fencenet stockings they accentuated her smuttiness.

The only real adult clothing that he allowed her to buy were her extremely small and reveling thongs, which she rarely got to wear; bathing suits, which were always a couple sizes too small and very revealing; and a few cocktail dresses that she could wear to his work functions or his family get-togethers (for the rare visit to her parents, family or friends she was still to wear her embarrassing girl clothing and her ridiculous shoes), these dresses were more to allow him to fit in with the crowd then to prevent embarrassment for her.

At his work holiday party, he took it easier on her, mostly because he did not want to make too big of a scene, which could cause him trouble the next day. For the event he dressed her in a bright pink strapless cocktail dress with a brightly colored pink latex choker (one of the only times he allowed her to take off her spiked wide collar), and stripped thigh high socks, which looked completely out of place with her dress and her shoes. The shoes were her four inch (the smallest heel she had) bubble gum pink stilettos, but to make her more uncomfortable then she already was in the half size too small shoes, he poured a few tea spoons of uncooked rise into the bottom of the shoe thus causing immense discomfort for her already tightly squeezed toes. He did the rice thing anytime she wore one of her few closed toed shoes, but for reasons she could not explain, as her discomfort level went up her pussy just got wetter and wetter.

Another of her rules required her to shop at only the cheapest retail stores, which helped to ensure she got the lowest quality, tackiest, and least fashionable items available. There was an exception for stores that sold fetish, stripper, and alternative clothing. The Wal-Marts and K-Marts that he now allowed her to shop at, were stores that she never thought that she would be caught dead looking at much less actually shopping in, when she got to go to Target it was like they were at a Saks Fifth Avenue.

However, despite all the humiliation and degradation, despite all the changes she had gone through and all the discomforts she was living in, she was as satisfied and as happy as she ever was with any of the comforts she used to enjoy. Instead of making her want to flee, it was only helping to turn her on more and more. She did not know what was wrong with her and why she was this perverted, but the more he humiliated and hurt her the more she wanted it. Every new humiliation he thought up for her was showing her how much he cared and how she was the only one he thought about and the only one he would willingly use his time to use like this.

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Control extended to almost all of her actions just like it did to her outfits.

In the morning she was to give herself a three quart, cold water enema. She would then have to hold it in for a minimum of half an hour before being allowed to expel it. While holding it she was to do her morning stretching. He liked her to always be flexible and limber, which came in handy when she was fucking her up the ass or pussy in his favorite position (which was her holding a complete split and using her arms to push herself up and down on his dick). After finishing her morning stretching and brushing her teeth, she was to prepare him breakfast, after which point, and no sooner than half an hour from taking the enema (which usually it never was ), was she finally allowed to empty her by then cramping belly.

She was then to wash herself using only cold water, as he told her: she was not important enough to waste hot water on. After the shower, she was only allowed to dry herself with her own personal towel. In reality, it was just a burlap sack that he had cut open to use as her towel. The cutup burlap bag was not only very rough on her skin, but also very dirty. She was never allowed to wash it, but it was the only thing that she was allowed to use to dry or wipe herself with. In addition, he used it to wipe his cum whenever he did not require her to eat it all, or her cum from when she was allowed to have an orgasm. Thus, after washing in the cold water shower and wiping herself dry she always ended up pink from the rough burlap material and smelling of sex.

If he was not awake already (sometimes he would wake up first to untie her from the previous night's bondage), then she was to wake him up as soon as she was done with breakfast preparation and cleaning herself. His wakeup involved her gently and lovingly kissing him all over until he either told her to stop, or he ended up fucking her or letting her suck him off. Usually though he would save the blow job for when he was eating his breakfast and she was kneeling between his legs.

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When it came to her own breakfast, and the rest of her meals for that matter, control was as unrelenting here as in any other part of her new life.

He liked her skinny, which was one of the reasons that he chose her, so he of course kept her on a very strict diet, although diet would be too strong a word for it. In the morning after eating his breakfast he would leave some leftovers for her and into that she was to chop up and mix in whatever pieces of organic garbage that he selected. This usually included egg shells, peels, stems and other pieces of organic leftover that were used in preparing his food. He had told her that any food was too important to squander on a pig like her and that not only would she be saving valuable resources that should not be wasted on her, but helping the environment. For lunch he usually allowed her to have a leafy salad, without any dressing, and for dinner it was again whatever he left from his diner mixed with the organic waste from the preparation. Both at breakfast and at dinner she also took a multivitamin, to insure she had all the nutrients that she needed to stay healthy. After all these months under the strict diet, she had managed to lose a dozen pounds from her already thin frame, enough even that people at work were even starting to think that she was anorexic.