I had met her through an Internet personal. I was a submissive guy who was searching for someone to make me her play toy. She was looking for the toy.
I had been submissive for as long as I could remember. As early as 4 or 5 I could remember seeing pictures of women in bondage on the covers of magazines like True Detective. The thing was, I identified with the women, I was the one who wanted to be tied up. Of course, at 5, what did I know about BDSM? All I knew was that when I tied myself up, or played Cops and Robbers, or Cowboys and Indians and was tied up, that I was excited. I didn't know it was sexual excitement until I reached my teens. My first masturbation fantasies involved me being kidnapped, used and abused by women, forced to serve their desires. I graduated to phone sex, then real time sessions with Mistresses.
In my early years, I had felt strange, and alone. This wasn't normal, was it? Worshiping a woman's boots, allowing her to whip me, to spank me like a little child. Subjugating my needs and desires to hers. There must be something terribly wrong with me, I thought. I allowed many women to beat me raw, to leave me broken and crying, while they told me how useless and worthless I was, offering no sympathy at all. I thought they were perfect. They were the dominants I had always read and fantasized about.
And yet, somehow, it felt wrong. It all came to a head one night when a Mistress decided to practice her single tail whip skills, or lack thereof, on me. I left her with tears in my eyes, barely able to walk. In the morning, I awoke with large ugly welts on my back, ass and flanks. Worse, I was pissing blood. A frightening trip to the Emergency Room (imagine the explanations), and I was told I had some kidney damage, but nothing that wouldn't heal in a few days...well, except for my psyche.
Of course, I never saw the whip wielding Domme again. For a long time, in fact, I interacted with no one. I was afraid...and miserable. I craved BDSM, craved submitting myself to another, but was too afraid of the embarrassment, and the inevitable hurt. I started slow, entering discussions on newsgroup pages, and chat rooms. I was amazed by what I learned. Submissives weren't useless pieces of shit...they were human beings! They had needs, just like the Dominant. As a submissive, I could set limits; I didn't have to do everything a Domme told me to, or allow myself to be hurt. Safe words! Safe, sane and consensual! Concepts that allowed me to venture back out.
I began to meet others to play with. Mistress Nicole was the first Domme I had met who actually laughed while she played, who didn't act as if I was a drain and bother. She taught me to respect myself, and let me know what a gift to her my submission was. I was brokenhearted when she moved out-of-state.
I had mostly subsisted on submitting to a succession of professional dominants since she had moved. Some were good, some were bad, but in the end, I always felt like "the clock was running," and I was intruding on their time.
Then I met Andrea.
I answered her Internet ad. It was one of many I'd answered before, usually with the pessimistic feeling that I would never hear anything from her. She was upfront about wanting an intelligent submissive, one who could write more than a two-sentence e-mail. She also made it clear she was looking for a Domme/sub relationship, a personal play toy. We started e-mailing back in forth. She said she was impressed by my answers and appreciated the way I shared my thoughts and insights with her. I hadn't thought about my experiences or analyzed them quite so thoroughly in quite a long time. We seemed to be on the same page and looking for the same things. We set a time to meet. We talked about having dinner, and when I asked her how long I should expect to stay out, she said, "Be ready to stay very, very late. You never know what might happen."
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I pulled into the parking lot of a large shopping center, and a car flashed its lights at me. I pulled up next to it, and got my first look at Mistress Andrea. She was more beautiful than I had imagined. In her eyes, I could see a devilish wickedness. As she rolled down her window, she threw me a beaming smile, "Hi, you must be David." she said.
"And you must be Andrea. I'm very delighted to meet you." I replied.
"Well then, why don't you get out of your car, and come over here into mine." I did as she asked. When I sat in the passenger seat, she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. She was dressed in a white silk blouse that amply showed off her cleavage, and gave me a glimpse of the black leather bra underneath, leather skirt, stockings and patent leather high heels, all in black. "I'm glad we're finally getting together. Do you want to go get something to eat?"
I agreed, and we went off to a small restaurant. While we ate, we talked about D/s and each of our experiences. Mistress Andrea had been submissive for a long time, but had found it went against her nature. She had learned much as a submissive, and knew the feelings and desires I was likely going through. She looked at BDSM as a teaching and learning experience, for both the Domme and submissive. She understood the trust I would place in her, and how she would need to earn that trust. "I can't just tell you 'Trust me' and expect you to do it," she explained, "I have to show it in actions. If you safe out and I don't honor that, how can you trust me? If you tell me you absolutely, positively don't want to do something, and I coerce you into it, what kind of trust will you have in me?" she explained.
Dinner was over, and we headed back out into the parking lot, and to her car. I walked around and opened her door, then went back to the other side and slid into the passenger seat. Mistress Andrea looked over at me, and put her hand on my thigh, "I'd really like to play with you tonight," she announced.
I licked my lips nervously, "I'd like that," I answered, and got a big smile in return.
"I was hoping you'd say that," she put the key in the ignition, and started the car. A change seemed to come over her as we left the parking lot. She didn't become a stone cold bitch, but her demeanor certainly become more like a superior addressing a subordinate. A Mistress speaking to her slave.
"We're going to go to my place, and I'm going to use you. I'm going to make you my slave, my slut, my whore. The rules are very simple. You will address me as Mistress or Mistress Andrea at all times. You will do anything I ask, when I ask it, or you will be punished," she smiled evilly, "Or I may just punish you because I feel like it. Your safe words are yellow - for slow down, and red - for stop." Her mood lightened, "I promise you, David, I will honor those. Don't be afraid to use them."