Filling The Holes

It's easy to forget where we are. Your lips are clouding my judgment as we stand necking in a dark hallway, and I know we should stop, but I lose the words as I open my mouth and only a harsh breath slips out.

"Give me your panties."

The now is unspoken but as clear as your voice in my flushed and oversensitive ear. With a second of self-preservation, I glance around us before bending to tug them down my thighs, the fabric uncooperative and sticky. I ball them in my fist before handing them to you low and as stealthily obvious as a teenager palming away drug money.

Into your coat pocket they go, your nonchalance making my nerves hum ever more. I hear a sigh and realize it is mine as you back away. I simmer at the indignity of being left so unsettled - how dare you coax me into something you haven't the decency to finish?

"I'll be back." And then I am pressing a hand to my stomach and breathing slowly, dizzy at the speed with which it is over.

"OK," I say to myself, and slowly trail behind you towards the rest of the party. It is dim and people are laughing, gesturing, shouting over the music and din of the crowded room. My eyes find your tall figure moving purposefully though space, and I soon realize your target. Shit, shit, shit.

"Is something wrong?" Shit, fuck, I didn't know I'd spoken. "No," I smile at the woman next to me, "I just remembered something I was supposed to have done today. I'll live." Will I? What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?

I shouldn't have said anything, I should have kept my big mouth shut to begin with, but something in me broke free under your command and it just slipped out. Now it's too late to take it back and all I can do is watch helplessly as you approach him, Sam, the only other man in the room who can make my legs go weak.

"Do you want him?" you asked, and my head lolled to the side, the nod too faint for your taste.

"Say it."

"Yes, OK, yes."

"Are your panties wet?"

They are now. And now they are in your fucking pocket, traitor.

It is too crowded to see what is happening below your shoulders, but I can tell that there is an exchange, as suddenly his head bends down and when it lifts it has zeroed in on my face. From across the room I know that his pupils are dilated like mine, I know that he is rubbing my scent all over his fingers, and I know it is going to happen even before he lifts them to his face.

Fuck fuck fuck. What have you done? I want to call you away, but I don't want to make it any worse. What have I done? Are you going to turn me over to him now? Are you done with me, now that you know? I am overcome with uncertainly and a great wave of sadness; eyes that haven't been able to end contact with Sam's suddenly well with tears. I break for the hallway, trying to find my way back to the dark corner, to put myself together.

Your hand stills my shoulder. I can't look at you yet. You'll have none of it. Fingers tip my face towards you.

"Everything is OK. Come now, we're leaving."

I still have no idea what is going on. The drive home is quiet and I am plagued with more fears, but there is nothing to read off of you, good or bad. I decide to practice breathing, meditatively, and then stop before I hyperventilate.

Home, and the engine shuts off. Buckles clicking and muffled latching of doors, nothing registers as we walk into the living room. I feel blind, seeing but trapped in the dark. Say something. SAY SOMETHING.

"Get undressed."

I feel my body begin to soften as I immediately comply, the clothing draped over a chair, the shoes neatly placed beside it. I wait for your next command.

"Let's have some wine. The red I think." I respond with relief at having a task, my gaze straying to your body as I open and pour from the bottle you brought up today. You remove your coat, mindfully set your watch on the counter, unbutton your shirt and lay it neatly over my dress. I can't see your feet but I watch your muscle ripple as you toe off your shoes. My veins have become molten, I move fluidly now as I serve you.

"We'll be needing one more."

----

I am grateful you took my glass as you said it, placing the untouched wine aside. I am not sure I would have held onto it. You guide me back to the kitchen by the elbow and I watch sightlessly as you fill another of the crystal goblets and gracefully spin the drip before setting the bottle down.

"Look at me."

Your voice penetrates enough so that I obey, I am staring into your eyes but it is my own reflection I see. It feels like you are looking into my soul.

"Do you trust me?"

Yes. I nod.

"Drink some of this." I take the glass and drain half of it. It is lush and I think fleetingly it should be savored.

"Lay down and present yourself. I'll be in soon."

I quietly pad into the bedroom, the intimate sanctuary we share. The cool white bedspread and warm plaster walls can't relieve my worry. The bed suddenly seems too big, as if maybe chosen for this. I climb onto it, crawling to the center, my cheek pressed to the cool linens, my ass high, a chill running up my spine as the air hits my open and swollen folds.

I hear voices, murmuring as they approach and become clearer. The timbres are distinct, first your gravely tone, then my muscles tense at Sam's smooth and lazy drawl.

"Here we are. As you can see, she's quite overstimulated by the idea."

Overstimulated?! That's what you call a nervous breakdown? I can feel the liquid coating my inner thighs and know that the petals of my sex are engorged by the way they rub with my every tremor. I imagine I am quite the sight.

"It's lovely." Sam is staring at my pussy. I can feel his eyes like laser beams on my cunt and it weeps even more. Please, please, please get me out of here.

"Allow me to give you the tour." They walk around me. "There are restraints on each poster, and beneath here is everything else." The drawers are opened, smoothy rolling till they thud at full extension, I shiver as I feel each one. If this is really happening, someone please touch me.

"She's gotten to the point of enjoying it when I take her anally, but it does require some coaxing. It goes faster with the silicone lubricants, and she likes it best if we dispense with condoms." This cannot be happening.

It feels like years I have been here on my knees, my flesh quivering and tight, before you get around to addressing me.

"Look at us, Love." I lift my head and turn it, my fingers bunching in the silky covers bracketing my face. Finally, I raise it to see you both. You are so stunning, your power visible in every line of your dark body, a taught contrast to Sam's relaxed and golden form. He is more menacing than I've ever seen him, there is a threat in his lazy and appraising gaze. I feel like I have been painted with fire by the time his eyes find mine. After a small eternity I shake away from that abyss and search your face. Oddly, I find what looks like approval.

"Well then, it seems we are ready. Shall we?" I am suddenly spinning and I find my head cradled on your shoulder, my back resting on your chest. Your forearms are hooked under my knees and I am spread wide. I turn to inhale the hot skin of your throat and close my eyes.

"Look Love. Watch him." I reluctantly turn back and see Sam approaching the bed, coming to stop between my splayed thighs. As he devours me with his vision, you part me further and I struggle for more air.

Finally, finally, Sam's fingers trail over my leg, brushing towards and away, edging closer and closer. I feel like I am doing to die. No, I know am going to die. It's about to happen. I can tell, because my heart has stopped beating and my lungs have stopped breathing, and fuck, Sam slips a finger between my puffy lips and I hear my own broken sob.

"She's dripping. Oh, she is on fire." And he finds my hole, sliding inside like he's taking my temperature and reporting back to you. "God, it's fucking unbelievable inside. What a cunt."

You chuckle and agree, and I am racing towards an orgasm, my fists tightening on the sheet and my hips mournfully rocking toward an empty release. I have to get there before you stop him.

"You'd best ease off, she's about to come." Damn you, I feel your smile against my temple as I cry out my displeasure, my pelvis still begging pathetically. When I have the ability to notice things around me again, I see that Sam has shucked his clothes and has a glint of mischievousness in his eye as he approaches again.

"She's got a hair-trigger, eh?" You snort. I can't even feel embarrassed as I whine.

"Let's see if we can't settle her down a bit. Perhaps if we wring her out, she'll be more docile." Just touch me. Please, anything, just touch me. Sam doesn't just touch me. He covers me, bringing all of us into contact, pressing me back against you, rubbing his whole body over mine. The whorls on his chest scrape over my puckered nipples, his heat making me curl up inside. I am surrounded, overwhelmed, overtaken. His lips take mine as his cock brushes between my legs and I come.

You are laughing and Sam is cursing when my brain begins to function again.

"I told you so."

Sam curses some more, his drawl making the words sound almost proper. "Fuck. Now what? I was going to hold out on her."

"Perhaps we go with my original plan then." Sam's face becomes serious, and with a terse nod, he is gone and I am tipping backwards. I finally realize you are pulling me higher onto you as you lay back and my body begins to relax, only to flinch again at the cold and abrupt lubed fingers spreading gel all over my asshole. Sam's fingers rim me for only seconds and then disappear, till I feel them between you and me, slippery, and the I realize, they are guiding your dick. The head is pushing insistently and it is too much for me to take, knowing Sam has his hand on your cock makes me cum again. As I shudder you thrust up, finding your way deep and settling in till you're rooted.

Sam is over me, propped on his arms above us. He is watching my face and when the fog of my climax begins to clear, he is rubbing the head of his thick stalk over our slippery flesh. "Ask for it, Love. Tell us what you want."

I want you both, now. Do it. Fuck me. No words come out. My mouth just hangs open, with no sound.

Sam smiles, the menace hasn't left. I try again. My lungs simply wheeze. I lick my parched lips and mouth the words. Fuck me. Please.

Your fingers run up the bottoms of my thighs, caressing and pulling, parting me for him like a gift. I can feel your love, it streams from your fingertips and puddles in the center of my chest. Suddenly my voice is strong.

"I want your cock in my cunt, Sam, now, while Reed's in my ass. I want you to fuck me onto his dick, I want to come between you both, I want -"

And Sam knocks the wind out of me with his thrust, all the way home before I even register that he moved, and you both begin to pump at once. Then there are no more words. I am launched into the stars then pulled by gravity to the earth, tugged by the tides and rocked by the waves of an unimaginably warm sea till I come back to my body, hot and sweaty, smashed between your hard and velvet forms. I feel the final jerks of Sam's body as his balls brush yours, tightening and lifting, spraying his seed deep, bathing the entrance to my womb with the promise of his young. I experience the satisfaction of your groan as you tense under us, pouring molten lava into my dark and tender flesh. I feel wetness on my cheeks and then Sam is kissing it away, murmuring nonsense I cannot understand. You brush a hand down my side, over the ticklish spot and then between us. You cup your palm over my belly, as if to hold my butterflies in.

I have never felt so loved as I do now, my own secrets embraced, at peace with the truth of my desires - accepting myself through the gift of your unfettered response - I am whole.