Why is an enigma so alluring?
I have asked this question ever since I was in my mid-teens; a naive, somewhat reckless and hedonistic girl with crushes and fears and fantasies like any other. But I would never have ascribed myself as a 'people-person'.
I had kissed guys and had the odd sexual encounter; I'd lost my virginity at sixteen to a slightly older guy who lacked the required maturity to follow through into a relationship. A few guys had shown interest, but I didn't really give the impression that I was interested and nothing ever went further.
That was until one afternoon at my sixth-form college.
Rob Gillespie had a reputation for being straight-talking. He was known throughout the school: intrigued by learning enough to tell kids who were disrupting lessons where to go, or to fight him after class if they had a problem. He asked questions when he cared to know something, and did his own thing in lessons when he wasn't interested. He was generally respected, but quiet and had no real friends, and wasn't without a few instances of controversy.
One day, at lunch, a smaller kid was getting picked on by three older kids; Rob intervened and got the crap kicked out of him, but landed a few shots himself. In a detention, Rob once told a teacher to go and fuck himself - slowly, without pausing, without a shaking in his voice - because the teacher was insulting him. He always seemed to get a lighter punishment after a long conversation with someone high up.
As an eighteen year old girl, an inevitable argument with a friend sometimes ensues. I was upset and alone at a table in a communal study area, when suddenly a consoling voice interrupted my thoughts.
"She's a bitch anyway" stated Rob blankly whilst making a coffee.
"She's my friend" I replied feebly.
"I went to primary school with her" he retorted. "She hasn't made a real friend since then. She just keeps people handy. Fuck her. " He walked back to his table, set down his cup and resumed reading.
I was pissed off - not through loyalty to my so-called friend, but for the arrogance of some guy who didn't know me to interfere, as good as his intentions may be. I walked over and sat down across from him.
"And is your wisdom the reason you're so happy and surrounded by friends?" - I instantly regretted the tone, but I was upset.
"You regret saying that, but it's okay". He looked back at his book. "If you want to walk away now I won't think less of you. But you should talk it out with someone instead of wallowing alone, all brooding and hateful."
We spoke for about an hour and it became clear that Rob wasn't like anyone I'd met before: he was inquisitive and very intelligent, a great listener and, perhaps consequently, an incredibly perceptive reader of people.