It's quiet in my kitchen, since everyone shot off like a rocket to whatever the hell they do all evening as soon as it began to look like work in here. I really don't mind though, as it's some of the only peaceful time I get to let my mind wander. The steady rush of the steamy water lulls me as I fill the sink, and I begin to breathe, feeling some of the day's tension leave my neck and shoulders.
I take off my wedding ring as I always do during tasks like this, and it catches my attention as I do. I begin thinking about all it represents and our entire journey so far. So many ups and downs over twelve years, and I can't say I'm unhappy, although I do have certain needs that have never been met. You should never have told me you were willing to dominate me if you were never going to. I've taken all of your needs and wants seriously, and you've known from the beginning this was a big one for me. It really hurts that you laugh it off most of the time. I wouldn't leave, but sometimes I retreat into my mind to another life, another version of myself that I can't express with you, another place and time...
I shut off the faucet and stare for a while at the reflective ripple of the water's surface, finding myself becoming first blank, fixated, then my concentration shifts to my inner world. Suddenly I'm no longer in my home at all, but standing near a moonlit lake.
There's a bench here, so I sit down to gaze at the moon on the water. A soft, warm breeze caresses my face, sending my hair lightly fluttering across it. As I tuck it behind my ear, I exhale a deep breath out, relaxing more. I hear night birds calling, and crickets and tree frogs. I sigh, and my thoughts converge onto You. The one who lives in my every maladaptive daydream, and I wish I knew where you were the rest of the time. It's probably a good thing I don't, I might do something reckless and crazy if I did.
I can't resist the urge to wade out into the inviting, gentle waves before me, so I do. I float and watch the moon, letting my thoughts seep from me as I drift over the water. After a while, feeling relaxed and refreshed, I come upright to head for shore. As I do, I feel a pair of strong arms encircle my waist from behind, and I gasp in preparation to scream.
Then I hear it. That voice. The only voice that holds true and complete power over me. Even though You're chuckling at me, I melt into Your arms as you pull me back to the shoreline. I step out of the lake and turn to look at You, wondering how You always manage to look even more breathtakingly gorgeous every time I see You. You look deeply into my eyes and your hand comes up to touch my face, brushing my hair back from it. I could lose myself in those mesmerizing eyes for eternity and it wouldn't be enough. I'd say then I'm Yours, but I always have been.
The look on Your face morphs from sweet but intense to a cheeky smirk that You know has an effect on me. Your hand by my ear snaps and gives the command twice. I drop into Your arms, and You lower me to the bench, Your soothing satin voice talking me down, down, down to our special place. The lake and its sounds now gone, our playroom forming around me in shades of blood red, black, and muted gold accents and lights. I sink naked to my knees and look at You expectantly, waiting... as You wait for me until I have time to be here, to submit to You.
After quite a while of just staring at me with a slight smile on your perfectly shaped lips, You order me to stand in the middle of the room and I rush to comply. You grab my hands, Your fingers grazing my sides as You bring them up to the cuffs attached to the carabiner above. You click the cuffs on slowly, looking into my soul as You do with a heat that nearly incinerates me on the spot. My breath hitches, my arousal growing like an out of control wildfire. You saunter behind me, out of sight, and I can hear things being shuffled around. Then silence, maddening in its stillness.
