I get off from work and leave my big red shoes at the door. The birthday goers were little hellions today and I need to relax. I loosen my overalls and when I get to the door I am greeted by a surprise.
You are all wrapped up in a bow kneeling before me in my room. Well, looks like I get to have a little fun for grownups this evening! My painted lips split into a wide classic smile.
"Well hello there! My name is Bombo the clown," I introduce myself.
My big red nose wiggles a little when I give you a bow, the bells on my hat jingling.
"It must be my birthday," I laugh, as I come back up with a glint in my eyes.
You shake your head, screams muffled by the ribbons shoved in and around your mouth. A perplexed look passes over my face at your apparent terror.
Clowns are silly and fun, we bring joy to innocent hearts all over the world! Are you really afraid of me? I smack my forehead at what is so obvious; it's the ribbons that must be causing all your distress!
"Can't imagine it's too easy to breathe like that," I comment.
I withdraw a ridiculously oversized pair of scissors from my puffy pants pocket.
Your screams hit a crescendo, tears streaming down the red fabric as your terror reaches a fever pitch. I hold your head firmly with my gloved hand and slowly trace my blade through the ribbons confining your face.
They draw loose with one snip and you are flooding me with demands to be let go.
"Hmm, no, I don't think I will. I have a special surprise for you, my little present. I had a bad day on the job, and you're going to help me clown around as a reward to both of us. How does that sound?"
You immediately object until I threaten to gag you again, and you fall silent, tears still streaming down your eyes. They fall from your face to the floor.
"You party people sure do like to make a mess on my carpet," I tut.