Of Mouse and Man

I paced around my apartment, and found myself standing in front of the mirror, wondering how far I’d let Joanna go. Was I a man or a mouse? An answer came at once: put a piece of cheese on the floor and you’ll find out. I was never sure exactly what that meant, but it was a funny line from a movie I’d once seen.

She’d called me, as she did about once a week, and told me to come over. Didn’t invite me over, didn’t ask me over, just told me to come over now. I couldn’t believe sometimes that I put up with her crap. I had been so in love with her, once.

She met me at the door, wearing just a tee-shirt. "Hey, babe," she said, walking away. "Get your glass and join me in the bedroom."

I walked into the kitchen and retrieved the small tulip-shaped wine glass she always wanted me to use.

She was sitting on the plush carpeted floor of her bedroom, in the open area. Next to her were the 2 throw pillows she liked, and the jar of petroleum jelly with the Q-tip sticking out of it. She was sucking on a new vibrator, brass at its base with flesh-colored plastic over the vibrating knob. The divine smell of her cunt filled the room.

Without taking the thing out of her mouth, she patted the floor next to her. We had been through this routine before, and I began taking off my clothes. When I was naked I sat down next to her and she handed me the Q-tip with a wad of jelly on it. She watched as I carefully wiped the greasy cotton all around the inside of the wine glass, so that the inside was completely coated with a film of petroleum jelly.

"Good boy. Come on and lay down now, I can’t wait to try this bugger out," she said.

This was one of the depths to which my formerly semi-normal sex life had sunk. How I longed to just make love to her again, but she wouldn’t have it. She’d made it clear that if I didn’t want to play things her way, I could take a hike. And I should have, but I couldn’t. For one thing, I was in love with her cunt. It was a fountain, exuding a thick delicious paste when excited, and I don’t mean just a little bit. The whitish goo just drooled out of her.

I had solid wood between my legs from the fragrance of it when I laid down next to her, resting my head in the valley between the two throw pillows.

She put the vibrator down and turned to me with the Q-tip in her hand. A fresh blob of petroleum jelly was on the cotton, and slowly and carefully, she swabbed the Q-tip over my nose. Joanna understood the humiliating nature of this process, which is probably why she took her time with it. When she had coated my nose with the jelly, she put the jar and the Q-tip down.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded. She rose to her knees, and then swung one leg over my face, and rested her knees down on the pillows. With her directly over me, I looked up at her cunt and could see right away that it had been busy, as usual. Her outer lips were red and swollen, her inner lips were drawn out and hanging, as through they had been recently battered. And up close, there was another smell, too. The smell of fucking. I knew it well because one of the first of many odd things she had made me do was to lick her cunt clean after we had made love. I wondered who she had fucked before I came over. None of her other boyfriends would eat her out after coming in her cunt, so she’d taken to calling me over to do it after they’d left. I didn’t even get to do that, much, any more. She mainly used my nose.

She began to wiggle herself down lower towards my face, spreading her legs. She reached down and gently pulled her butt cheeks apart and lowered herself a little further, until the tip of my nose touched her anus. I knew at once that her asshole was fairly clean this time, and was glad for that. She had ridden my nose with a shit-covered asshole more than once. She gyrated around with tiny motions, pushing my nose further into her rectum until the outer ring of her anus was stretched around the base of my nose.

Then she turned on the vibrator and began to pleasure herself with it. My task was to remain motionless so that part of my face could be used as a butt plug while she jerked off. My reward was that I got to swallow her "drippings" as they oozed into my mouth. I wasn’t allowed to stick my tongue out, but I could keep my mouth open to receive her juices. As was often the case, the cream flowing out of her included some guy’s come, as well as her cunt paste, but I swallowed away, just the same.

I was glad she didn’t fart, this time. She had let go some thunderous farts while my nose was up her ass in the past. She would giggle, and smile down at me and say "Oops" as though she just couldn’t control it, when in fact I could feel her pushing them out. More than once she’d pushed a chunk of shit down to my nose.

She masturbated with the vibrator for about twenty minutes, then she was done. She rolled off me, exhausted, and then picked up the wine glass and said "You’ll have to do it. I’m too tired, now. I’ll watch, though." I was acutely disappointed because I was horny as hell by then and had been looking forward to one of her hand jobs. She gave fabulous hand jobs. But she wasn’t going to give me anything tonight.

I stood in front of her, and spit on my fingers and began stroking my cock. She sat on the edge of the bed, holding the wine glass out toward me. I was ready to orgasm in about a minute. When I felt the sperm rising I pushed the head of my throbbing cock into the waiting container and spurted at least five times into the wine glass. She held the glass still until I had milked every drop of semen out of my cock.

"Good job," she said, holding up the glass and swirling its contents around. Since the inside of the glass was coated with the petroleum jelly, nothing would stick to it and my sperm swirled around in a single large white blob. "A good healthy ejaculation, wouldn’t you say?" I nodded, and she handed me the glass. I brought the glass up to my lips and tipped its contents into my mouth and swallowed.

"Ok, run along now." That was it. She laid down on the bed, and turned away from me.

I got dressed, put the jar of petroleum jelly away in the bathroom, tossed out the Q-tip, and took the wine glass back to the kitchen, where I washed and dried it and put it back in the cupboard. I was not allowed to wash or even wipe off my nose or face at her place, which meant driving back to my apartment with my face covered with her smelly paste and sometimes with her shit in my nose.

Put a piece of cheese on the floor and you’ll find out, I kept thinking.