Sometimes, when I'm away on business, I have to find ways to satisfy my urges on a whim.
This time was no different.
Friday night I found myself in the darkened hotel room, closing in on 3am, with a 20-year old cocky little thing trussed up and gagged, recently penetrated, humiliated, and looking to me for some answers as to why he felt the way he did Broken, vulnerable from his surrender, he surely would never been the same.
The semen was still fresh on his lips, and his lashes were still wet with tears.
How it all came together still amazes me.
**
I found Taylor at a liquor store.
I had not gone out that night with the intent of finding a man to bring back to my hotel room and seduce and torture. I had simply gone out for a walk, to gather my thoughts, to try to find some serenity in the cool Chicago air.
The concierge at the hotel told me there was a music store a few blocks away. Music is always a nice diversion, so I decided to go pick up a few new compact discs. The day had been hell for me - back to back meetings with clients, a few horrific presentations and barely being able to slip out of entertaining for the evening because I was just too exhausted.
Instead I wandered down the avenue and was half way to the music store when I saw Taylor standing outside a liquor store, smoking, alone.
The only urge that I have which is sometimes as unbearable as the urge to dominate is the desire, randomly, for chocolate. Not a lot of chocolate, not a specific kind of chocolate, but something sweet. So I detoured into the liquor store and b-lined for the candy aisle, only to find Taylor lurking behind me.
He was following me.
This was odd to me, because he hardly looked like the stalker type. He looked to be about 18 or 19, in torn jeans and a black short sleeved t-shirt. His hair was dirty blonde and he had great blue eyes. As sort of a grungy type, he also needed a shave - but I guess that look is still in.
Taylor watched me pay for my small black bag of plain M&Ms and then followed me out of the liquor store.
I wasn't really worried; after all, he looked harmless.
We only got about half a block before he sped up to me, to my side and said "Excuse me."
I stopped and turned to him.
"Can I ask you for a favor?"
I wonder if Taylor ever wished he had not asked that question. Because that's what started it all.
**
Taylor wanted me to buy him a six pack of beer.
He explained this to me nervously, his hands shoved down as far into his pockets as they could go. And all I could keep thinking when I was listening to him explain how he lost is ID was, "Those are beautiful eyes."
He stammered a few times, tried small talk when I just stared at him blankly after his initial request.
"You're from out of town," he observed. People have told me I look like I'm either from LA or New York, depending on what I am wearing. I guess I didn't look Midwestern enough, even for downtown Chicago. Or maybe it was the fact that I was in a business suit.
"You aren't 21," I told him. "You didn't lose your ID. You just want someone to buy it for you. Don't lie to me. That isn't a good way to start this off."
He chuckled a little, looked down, and was shuffling his feet in that kind of "oh shucks" kind of way. Good lord, I thought to myself, is this an act, or is he really that nervous? The vibes from him were inundating me. I was totally overstimulated, to say the least.
The only thing I can compare it to is being like a starving, hungry predatory cat, wandering through the brush feeling sorry for herself, only to come upon a venison with a broken leg.
He was just asking to be captured.
"If I walk in there and buy you liquor," I pointed out to him. "It'd be on camera, and I'm sure that guy working there has seen you pull this before."
Taylor was about to defend himself, but I cut him off.
"If you want a beer, come up to my hotel down the block. I'll take a few out of the bar in the room."
Of course, I didn't expect that he'd go with that. After all, he probably wanted to go take a six pack home and party with his grunge buddies.
He bit his lip, looked at me, and said, "Which hotel?"
**
Taylor was 20.
I got him to admit that to me on the walk to the hotel. In fact, as soon as I got Taylor talking, he wouldn't shut up. He was pleasant enough, but he definitely talked too much (nervous, I would imagine).
I knew the gag would come in handy.
In fact, as Taylor probably excitedly pondered that he was about to score a few free beers, I was pondering about how I was going to score Taylor.
I went through all the thoughts in my head. How he would look bound and gagged. How he would endure pain. How he'd handle being totally used as a sex object - this hormonal, sweet little 20 year old who stands outside of liquor stores asking women ten years his senior to buy him a six pack.
Taylor had a lot to learn.
And I felt like I had struck gold.
**
Of course, the moral side of me kicked in, and I reasoned that the boy would have no more than two beers over the course of the evening, because there was no way in hell I'd deal with an inexperienced, naΓ―ve, horny kid agreeing to all sorts of humiliating acts while bombed out of his head.
No, I'd have to be careful with Taylor. And also, I didn't know if he was damaged goods.
In the hotel elevator, Taylor looked up at the illuminated room numbers with big, blue eyes. Staring at him, I noticed that he had underlying features that were quite striking - he had amazing cheekbones, for a start, and really nice lips. His face was somewhat hidden by a mop of hair and he needed a good shave. But other than that, he was quite striking.
And boy, was he nervous.
When we entered my room, I could sense that he was trembling.
Grade A venison. Ready to be devoured.
**
When I travel, I tend to stay in fairly nice hotels. After all, if I am going to be away, I at least want to be comfortable. I have learned to hate two things in the last five years: airplanes and hotel rooms.
This hotel was marginal. I'm drawn to luxurious bathrooms, large bathtubs and really nice beds. This one had all three.
Taylor, apparently, had never been inside anything other than a dark motel room for $29 a night. He tried to hide it, but his eyes were drawn around the room and I could hear him clearing his throat.
My room was equipped with a full bar, in case I needed to do any entertaining (and I guess that was good planning, on my part). I rummaged through the refrigerator and pulled out a Corona for the boy, fixing myself a Stolichnaya on the rocks.
When I handed him the beer he said "Thanks."
Then I said, "Take off your clothes."
**
I guess I prefer the direct approach. But I figure that even a naΓ―ve 20 year old has been around the block enough to know that if a woman invites him up to her room to give him a beer, she probably has some other things in mind as well.
It felt, suddenly, like a scene out of The Graduate.
Taylor was holding the beer bottle tightly, half chuckling, looking at me, as if waiting for me to bust out laughing and say "Just kidding."
But I just stood there, sipping my cocktail, and waited for him to react.
"Are you serious?" he finally asked, in almost a whisper.
"I'm completely serious," I responded.
**
Taylor finally snapped out of his daze, probably because the shock wore off and the hormones kicked in. He set his beer down on the nightstand and crossed his arms over his chest to pull the black t-shirt off.
I pulled my hair out of its large, black clip and went to the closet. I never, ever travel without an arsenal of toys, and this trip was no different - even though I knew I would only be gone two days.
When I opened my black leather bag it all started to really sink in.
I was going to have him. I was going to have him in my way, and he was going to learn to submit. I was going to use him and humiliate him and force him to make me cum, then hold him and rebuild him and make him understand why I had to do it.
I'll never forget the look in his eyes when he saw what I was holding.
**