I feel my breath catch in my throat. I steel myself.
It's ok, I'm excited.
I'm nervous. I've done all of the things. I'm ready. I think.
I force myself to draw a deep breath, and let out a slow effortful exhalation.
Fuck
Ok,
It's ok,
If I'm not ok I'll say so.
I will.
Ok.
More deep breathing. I sip gingerly at the wine I've poured for myself and forgotten about.
I'm excited.
I've never done anything like this before and it feels dangerous, but not dangerous. Adventurous?
I apply a final layer of black mascara, and a layer of nipple pink lipstick. The body suit is white and lacy, with a collar around my neck, plunging low to display my cleavage.
I'd never wear anything like this, I've never worn anything crotch-less.
I'm already slightly wet with anticipation. I'm ready, at least that's what I tell myself.
I walk into the bedroom, and my master lounges casually in an armchair. His eyes drink me in, methodically from head to toe, lingering on my breasts.
"Turn around"
I turn slowly, deliberately, showing off the g-string cut of the body suit, my ass cheeks exposed. I see the hunger in his eyes. The widening of the pupils.
Something is stirring in me, I want to touch myself. I feel undeniably sexy. I feel the rush of energy that comes from being the object of his desire.
"Lie down on the bed" he intones simply.
Wordlessly, I obey, I breathe into the desire, my hands inching toward my thighs. I mustn't. And yet...
I dig my fingers into my thighs. I stop myself.
I'm not allowed to do that yet.
His hand grasps my wrist, catching me red-handed.
"What were you doing?" a brief pause, a flash of a smirk.
He growls, bemused "What were you *trying* to do".
"Nothing" I reply demurely.
I see him cast his eyes down my body. A smile spreads across his face as he caresses my hand.
"Did you need to touch yourself precious?"
I nod.
"I said 'did you want to touch yourself?'", the grip on my wrist tightening as he articulates each syllable with intent.
"Yes sir"
My skin is electrified as I tremble at the firmness of his grasp.
"Then don't be so coy about it, pleasure yourself for me"
Without further hesitation, I start to rub my clit. Slow gentle arcs around the hood at first.
"Good girl"
He leans back and watches. Content with nothing more than his orders being obeyed and my pleasure unselfconsciously explored.
"Don't you dare even think about starting to cum"
Fuck! At just the suggestion, I feel myself careening towards the brink and pull my mind back from the edge.
"I didn't say stop, needy girl. Keep going for me, but don't cum".
The last words sternly sing out as a warning, an order, but not a dare.
With bated breath, I barely whisper "I can't".
I'm so close it's agonising, I feel my juices building. If I let go, lapse concentration, and give in to the surmounting pleasure I know there's a possibility I'll squirt.
He watches amusedly, then gently grasps my wrist again, leaning in and lowering his face to my saturated mound, he inhales my scent deeply.
Straightening up, he takes my wrist above my head. I breathe heavily, stepping back from the edge.
"Atta girl" he purrs, affectionately stroking my cheek.
I feel his engorged member against me as he leans down to kiss me. I angle my hips to meet his cock. He grabs my hips and lets me linger there for a moment before pushing my hips back down on the bed.
"Not yet my cock hungry slut, we're just getting started. You're not ready for it yet"
I start to nod, but remember my lesson, "yes sir"
He nips my neck before whispering in my ear.
"Hands and knees, show me those fuck holes of mine"
I do as I'm told, positioning myself. He caresses my thighs and, gently gripping the back of my neck, pushes my face down. I keep my arse up.
"What are our words baby?"
"If I want to slow it down or change something, I say yellow"
"Good girl"
"And if I want it all to stop I say red"
A word I don't think I'll need, but the comfort is in knowing it is mine to say.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes sir"
My body already betrays my desire, I feel my wetness dripping, droplets cascading down my thighs. His broad strong hands take a firm grip of my arse cheeks, kneading me, preparing me. Callouses scratching up against skin.
The anticipation is intoxicating. Every sensation is amplified and intermingled.
I'm both in and out of my body simultaneously. I don't know what to focus on.
All of a sudden I feel a sharp thwack, an exclamation mark of sensation.
I feel the stinging pain turn to pleasure as his hand ricochets off my arse cheek.
I moan without even realising it. How can this hurt so fucking good?
I'm determined to take it like a good girl. Prove my worth as his pain slut.
I breathe heavily as another blow lands, the sting lingering, almost vibrating, on my right butt cheek. Slowly, rhythmically he spanks me, alternating cheeks, varying the force. A shockwave felt each time, emanating from my arse and travelling towards my thighs where it reverberates. I'm glad he can't see my face; I feel as though my eyes are rolling back into the back of my head. Completely at his mercy.
Suddenly the thwacks play in quicker succession. Three in a row, I feel his hand grasp the back of my neck.
I can't help it, with the third blow I let out a yelp, and I bury my face in the pillow to stifle the sound. His grip around my neck tightens as he lets out a quiet chuckle. He smoothes my hair behind my ear, leans in and whispers
"How long can you keep quiet my little pain slut? We don't want anyone to hear you do we?"
Disorientated, I raise my head from the pillow
"No sir"
"Good girl"
I hear him reach for something, I turn to look but he catches me peeking, he grins devilishly and I quickly turn away.
"I'm sorry sir. I'll take my punishment sir"
'Good, but if I can't trust you not to peek...'
Equal parts trepidation and anxiety well up from within as the blindfold descends over my eyes, he ties the ribbon firmly but lovingly at the back of my head and strokes my hair.
My heart is racing. In an instant, I can feel every inch of my skin as my world goes dark. I feel his hand between my thighs,
"Oh, precious you're dripping..."
I feel the heat of his hand near my yearning cunt, practically aching, one touch would dissolve me entirely.
I mumble "Please touch me sir" as clearly as I can manage.
Teasingly he inches his hand closer and closer to my pussy, my clit pulsating. He gently inserts a finger into me and the pad of his thumb firmly against my throbbing clit. I can't help it, I let out a deep, resounding moan.
He pulls his hand away, I arch my hips back against his hand, desperate for his touch.
"Now, now doll. You're not going to be greedy are you"
God, I want to be greedy. I am so fucking greedy.
"No sir, I'll be your good girl I promise."
He runs something hard up the back of my thigh, it's flat, cool to my skin, a paddle?
The edges feel studded. The metal feels cool as he runs it across my reddened ass cheeks. He runs the broad edge up my spine, leaning over me. I reach a hand back and creep my fingers up his thigh, towards his cock.
"This will hurt precious, in a way that you crave"
I think to myself, I hope so. Something in me has shifted. I want everything my master will give me.
Thwack, the studded paddle meets my skin, under the sheer force and his strength I shift forward slightly. I barely manage to stifle my yelp, clenching my teeth.
"Count them and thank me pain slut"