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1.
The first time I saw him we were reaching to squeeze the same orange. I hate buying oranges that look so delicious and then taste like damp, bland fiber after you've peeled them. Our eyes met. His were shining out of a dark, rugged face and so damned blue, I could have drowned in them. I realized I was staring and made myself look down.
"Excuse me." he said, "After you."
Those were the innocent words spoken but I had suddenly felt as if he had said, 'Take your clothes off. I want to fuck you'. I felt my neck grow hot as I went from orange to orange until I had a half dozen. I felt his eyes on me the whole while but I didn't dare look up. I put the oranges in the basket and moved down the aisle. I waited until I was past the fruit to look back. He was gone.
I was distracted as I went down the rest of my grocery list. From one aisle to the next I kept hoping to see him. I even scanned all the lines as I waited at the checkout. If that single minute of contact had not been so vivid though, he might have been a figment of my imagination.
On the drive home, I let the few words he had spoken drift through my mind. There had been no noticeable accent. The words themselves had been innocent. His sound had been unique. It was a one of a kind voice. Still, how had he filled a polite apology with all that sexy undertone? I shook my head to rid it of his echo and chided myself for acting like a love struck schoolgirl.
Getting out of the car with the groceries, I dropped my keys and almost lost the eggs retrieving them. He was still in my head. It was as if thinking about him was making me clumsy. The answering machine was loaded. I listened as I put things away in the kitchen.
"Miara, Miara, Miara! Pick up! It's Jenny.....O.K. I guess you aren't there. Give me a buzz and promise you're not going to back out on me Friday night. Trust me, Bill's friend is hot and you need to get out more. Later, Girlfriend."
Beep.
"Miara. Tom Jenkins. There's a teacher's meeting after classes tomorrow. Just more crap from the Dean about student evaluations but I can't get you out of it. See you there,"
Beep.
"Miss Miara Martin? I hope I'm pronouncing that right, anyway this is just a courtesy call from Sun Coast Condos to let you know you've won..."
I shut it off. I wondered why no one had yet released a deadly virus that exclusively targeted tele-marketers.
Classes had been even more discouraging than usual. I hoped a long soak would get rid of the tension in my neck. I went into the bathroom and started a tub. I thought some bubbles might brighten my mood, so I added a big dollop of the peach scented stuff I had put in my own stocking for Christmas.
I put one of my Edith Piaf CDs in and cranked it up loud enough to reach the bath. I kept promising myself that I would learn how to say more than
merci beaucoup
in French but I hadn't yet. It didn't matter though; I enjoyed her voice, even without being able to translate the lyrics.
While I was undressing, I thought about the double date Jenny had set up for Friday. Her last attempt had been a washout. The guy had been better than average in the looks department and had dressed nicely. I thought when I first saw him that the evening might go somewhere. No spark though and when he finally asked me to dance I couldn't wait for the music to end. He'd put an arm around me and leaned in to say something. Christ... his breath was awful. Poor guy must've had a gum disease or something, Anyway that had been it for me. I would have to decide whether I felt like rolling the dice again with this friend of hers and Bill's on Friday.
In the bathroom, I lit a couple of lilac candles and turned out the light. I pulled the pins out of my bun and let my hair down. I lowered my head and shook it out. It almost touched the floor. I tossed it back over my shoulders. Naked, I studied myself in the mirrored tiles behind the vanity. My reflection was softened in the dancing candlelight. The woman in the glass was attractive. Beautiful even. She was I. So why didn't I feel as beautiful as she looked?
I turned off the taps and lowered myself into the bubbles. I had to force myself down into the heat. I always got it too hot but that was the way I liked it. It was actually painful at first but as the pain faded, the pleasure increased. The extreme of one sensation seemed to quantify the other.
I put my head back, closed my eyes and drifted on Edith's voice. I couldn't understand a word of her songs and yet they were so sensual. I knew she was singing of love, and pleasure, and yes, pain too. There was the sound of yearning in it. Yearning for what? The ultimate lover? Sex? Yes, it was definitely sexy.
I opened my eyes as it dawned on me. The sound of his voice, uttering those four words, displaced the soft French lyrics. Now I knew how I had recognized what he had really been saying to me. I was sure I was right. I had not imagined it at all. That handsome son of a bitch had reached out with four disguised words and sexed me up. No wonder I had felt so confused. It had been too bizarre to recognize initially. Even being certain, I had mixed feelings. My first impulse was toward anger but I had to admit that I had gotten a vicarious thrill from the encounter as well.
I closed my eyes again and let his dark features and those sapphire eyes come into focus. It had felt as though his eyes were holding me. Even remembering it, I felt my nipples fill and felt compelled to touch them. I pinched them to try and stop my thoughts but it only felt better. I brought my knees up and pressed them together hard. Of its own accord one hand moved down over my belly. Like a small, silent sea creature it slithered its way between the tight press of my thighs. Its fingers coaxed me with their promise of pleasure and my legs surrendered and fell open. My cunt began to throb then. I was helpless against its demands and my other hand left my breast to help answer them. I could hear his damn voice again as I began to frig myself.