I met him at the start of my new life. I was newly divorced, piecing my life back together with a fresh start and a new career. There he was. He was tall, medium build, with dark thick hair. He walked with such a presence I'd stop and follow until he was out of sight. One day I caught those cold blue eyes of his. I stared for a moment not knowing all that was behind them. I was thrown by his charming boyish smile that covered up his past and dark side.
I passed him for months, never saying anything. He just filled my fantasies after long days of work. I'd fall into bed exhausted but with enough energy to think about his strong hands gripping me and forcing his body against mine. He was well versed, extremely intelligent but always so rugged. He was the type to dive waist deep in water with dress clothes on to fix something. He worked barehanded in any conditions, which made his body fit, yet not too lean, barely able to wrap around. Eventually the fantasies of him died down as my life just became more mundane and I was numb to all things. My emotions plus physical wear and mentally 'not anywhere I should be' all lumped into nothingness.
An old friend pulled me out of my sad existence to try and give me a pulse again. She wanted to go out and asked me to dress like I had a figure under those sloppy construction clothes. It was time to try and socialize, which would hopefully get me out of this pit I had lulled myself into.
Jess always had some nightlife opposite her disappointing family life, something to give a spark to her painful existence in a marriage neither her nor her husband truly wanted. Based on her choice for the evening, it was an exceptionally bad week at home. Wolf's Den, a dive right in our town I would never even slow down for, was it tonight. I didn't argue with her as I felt nothing could disrupt the feelings or lack thereof, I had for what seemed like years.
I walked in, and there he was. No face I could see to be certain, I just felt his darkness and could see the very distinct shape of his upper body, even being hidden under a worn-out hoodie. A few drinks in and I was in my 20's again, I turned to pull the back of his long thick curls and pushed a shot his way. Eventually he slid into a dim space where I followed with no cue, just some magnetism drove me.
A few quick words then silence fell hard. His darkness came over me and I couldn't find my way back into the den. He scooped me up in one motion and against the wall my backside hit. His mouth was so warm his tongue laid into me, and our mouths locked tight. He had complete control. My body and mind completely consumed my heart pounding against his. His course facial hair felt like it was tearing through me as he kissed me so deep my breath was gone. I slipped into an ethereal state. As he had me pinned steady to the wall, he slid his mouth to my neck and tore through my skin. A loud moan had me lowered to the ground like a spell broke and we both parted ways.
I stayed home for months after that like I dreamt it, and he wasn't real.