Maybe half a quart of soapy water has emptied into my husband's rectum when I adjust the valve to stop the water. I sit next to my husband's head and remove the headphones that have kept him for hearing anything over the last hour and a half. I rub his stomach in a circular motion to help him take the enema.
"I know you are scared. Right now you are getting an enema. It's going to be dreadfully uncomfortable." I take a deep ragged breath as I keep rubbing his belly. "You could be in prison right now. When I have this baby, you could have been locked up. You could meet our child for the first time through a plate glass window. You could be raped again, repeatedly. This time you might not be so lucky and you could get a disease. You think you were in control of the situation.
You weren't. Today is about remembering what's its like to have no control over what happens to you. Today you have no control over your body. No control over what happens to it in anyway; not even any control over what happens to your bowels. I'm going to take the gag out, but I want you to be as quiet at possible. If you follow directions during this it will get easier for you."
I pull out the gag, and Jase sputters for a moment. The enema bag is only about a foot higher than Jase's anus, and its set to flow slowly. Jase is already shivering. I've turned the heat down to sixty-five and only heated the water to ninety-five. Cooler water causes more cramps, which is my goal. I stop anytime Jase seems truly distressed and rub his belly before I start up again, so it takes almost fifteen minutes before I get another quart into him. This time his distress doesn't stop. I tell him I'm going to take out the tube and roll him over on his back, but that he has to retain the enema for ten minutes. I rub his stomach the whole time, but my tough husband is mewling like a kitten. He is openly crying out when the timer goes off and I help him to his feet. I walk him out of the room, take off the blindfold, and then let him into the bathroom. The door stays open and I hear his cries.
"Maggie?" Jase calls out almost ten minutes later, desperation in his voice. When I walk into the bathroom my husband is standing over the toilet. "I can't wipe with my hands in cuffs." I notice he's still shaking; I read chills are a side effect of enemas.
"I know," I say. "Lean over the toilet."
"Maggie, no, please, no," he says, and I think he's going to cry, but when I don't respond he does it.
I set some old rags in warm water in the bathtub. I don't want Jase's anus to get overly inflamed yet, and I know the warm rag will feel better than toilet paper. I clean my husband's ass and lead him back to the bedroom. "You did pretty well, so you can lay on the day bed. Lay on your left side, facing the wall."
Jase almost looks grateful as he lays down. I cover him up with an electric blanket I'd already warmed up and hold up a straw so he can drink some sports drink. "Thank you, Maggie," he says as he snuggles his face against my hand. I leave.
I can tell he's half asleep when I return and sit in a chair by his ass and carefully fold the blanket back. Jase turns back and sees me hang the enema bag on a nearby shelf. This time, it's about two feet above his anus. "No Maggie, please! Not another one!"
"You'll have as many as I think you need," I say in return. "I can make you comfortable or not." Jase turns his head back towards the wall. More silent tears. I still haven't broken him. I want a quivering mess. I arrange his legs like I want them and then insert a Vaseline coated finger into him, coating his insides carefully. The tube is already coated. This time the water is flowing faster, and I rock Jase's hip back and forth to help him take the enema. I only stop when the distress is severe, so in ten minutes he's taken all two quarts. I keep rubbing his stomach, but he just barely makes it to the toilet at the end of ten minutes. This time he just calls me when he's done and already has his ass in the air for me to clean.