[Positive criticism welcome. This is not affiliated with the UK Open University [although I'm a student of theirs, and if you know it you'll recognize some of the in-jokes ;c)].
"Good evening, everybody. My name is Phil McCloud, and welcome to the first tutorial group for the 'Open University's X137: Beginning Topping'.
"It's great to see such a good turnout this evening, and so many new faces - though I recognise a few of you from last year's 'Intermediate Cunnilingus' - and I hope you've found the work you've done at home interesting and stimulating so far. These tutorials aren't in any way obligatory, but I hope after tonight you'll realize how much of a boost these can be in understanding the material.
"Now, before we begin, I must ask: has everyone signed the consent form? Yes? Good. And has everyone read the section on Basic Safety in the Introductory Booklet? Great. Okay, so who can tell me what a safeword is?... man over by the window?"
"Yep, exactly right. That's the first thing they'll ask you in the exam in the autumn... no, you don't have to slump like that when I say 'exam'. Once you've been through this course over the next six months, you'll be so confident with the material you'll be reciting it in your sleep. Which I hope won't cause any of you any domestic problems..."
"Okay, at this point I'd better introduce you to what'll happen this evening: we're going to explore some of the most basic aspects of topping, as well as mentioning some more advanced aspects that we'll go into in much more detail later into the course. And to do this, let me just go over to the cupboard and introduce you to...
"Miss G. Say hello, everybody. She would say hello back, but she's under a vow of silence - we'll get to that later. Last year she completed 'X292: Subbing Refresher', and she's volunteered to help me out with this course. Come on out in front of the class, Miss G. Now: what's the first thing that you all notice about her?
"Woman in the second row? Yes, the handcuffs. They're not key handcuffs - when you read 'Gerald's Game' in Module 2 you'll find out why - there's a lever on the outside, here, that unlocks them. Anyone else?
"Man at the front? The costume? It is a bit short, yes. It increases her humiliation. You'll see if I lift it up slightly that there's nothing underneath. It's a bit draughty in here, isn't it?...
"Oh, woman at the back left? Why isn't there a ballgag? That's getting a bit ahead of yourself... that brings us back to safewords - until you've built up a very large level of trust, I would leave the pet free to interrupt if necessary. Can anyone suggest a word to use for this evening?
"Woman with the hat? 'Quantum'? That'll do nicely. I don't think there's much chance of using that accidentally.... Okay, we'll get on with the main aspect of this month's module - I guess a lot of you will consider this the 'meat' of the course - the punishment.
"We'll assume for tonight's purposes that Miss G is somehow deserving of punishment - can anyone suggest a reason why that should be?
"Man in the centre in the blue shirt? Rangers beating Celtic 2-1? No, I don't think that'll do.... woman just behind him? Talking during Doctor Who? Yes, bang on! I can see why anyone would think that worthy of a good hiding.
"So I'll bend Miss G over the desk here... That skirt does ride up, doesn't it? Note the way the stockings and the heels accentuate the curves of her arse. I'm assured that it also applies if you're topping a man - and they're extra-humiliated by having to wear them.
"If you turn to page 17 of your Punishment Module book, you'll see the diagram marked 'Target Area' ... everyone got it? You've not got your book? It's okay, I brought a few photocopies... here....
"You'll see that too high on the back, or too low on the thighs, is ineffective as the skin is harder. And you'll have to be mindful for that interesting zone between the legs... it can be very effective as punishment, but you must get the balance right: that's covered at Intermediate level, and it's recommended you avoid it at this point.
"We'll start with the basic hand. If yours are especially sensitive, gloves may help - but personally I prefer skin to skin. If we apply one light slap.....
"...you'll hear the tone of the sound it makes. The pitch and the volume are important in judging how hard the spanks should be; Tape 4 in Module Three will tell you more about this. Start light if it's the first time with the particular pet; some are very impervious to pain, but some need the humiliation of the act more than the pain itself.
"It's traditional for some reason, lost in the mists of time, that the blows are given in groups of six - there's further reading on the etymology of the phrase 'six of the best' in the Offprints section if you're interested. So let's apply another five hands to our lovely Miss G...
"Comments? Man in the baseball cap over there? Yes, she did emit a small squeak despite her order of silence. I'd judge that to be unconscious, and not therefore deserving of extra punishment. Some people like their pets to repeat phrases or words after each blow in order to let that out, or that they should count the number of spanks. Personally I like to save that for afterwards.