In 2020, I lived in an apartment in New York City in Queens by myself I was close to my 29th birthday and since my 25th birthday, I had lost close to 50 lbs and gained some muscle, had a flat midsection, and had the first beginnings of a six-pack.
I was by then, 5'11" and weighed 150 lbs, which was my goal weight. When I turned 24 though I peaked at close to 230 lbs. I was about 190 lbs when I was 18. The cause of the weight gain was transitioning and no gyms in my area and the ones that were were too expensive not to mention hypothyroidism
While physically I was fit, I still didn't have a girlfriend, and in a matter of fact, I had never dated and was still a virgin.
Reason was, I had severe social anxiety disorder which of a fear which stemmed of my acute awareness, or over calculation of my social awkwardness as a result of my autism.
My fear was that if I had confessed my feelings for a girl that I had feelings for, she would either report me to the authorities for "sexual harassment" or stop hanging out with me if we were just casual friends.
My first fear stemmed from my anger issues when it came to being falsely accused for something I didn't do. As when I was in middle school, I all to well knew what it was like being falsely accused and punished for something I didn't do.
And my second fear was being ridiculed or publically shamed for being different as with Trump as president people with disabilities were looked down upon and some lawmakers even try to introduce nazi-style euthanasia laws, targeting mostly the disabled due to a combination of the autism and disability community taking a hard stance to the left and being anti authoritarian. The horrible bill was thankfully defeated in congress and without powerful condemnations from Chuck Schumer, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders and even some republicans.
When I was in middle school, back in the 2004-2005 school year, I was in a special needs program for students with learning disabilities and behavior problems.
The program integrated students with disabilities into regular classes, but with a guide to always follow you around and stick by your side no matter what. I was teased in my class initially for it, but seeing how intelligent I was and how I had absolutely no issues in class, or even with social interaction, students were surprised that I needed constant supervision.
During recess, if it wasn't outdoors, I wasn't allowed to be in the auditorium to watch movies with the rest of my class and had to instead spend the recess in the "inclusion room" which was ironic since that's where I was isolated from the rest of my class and where all the bullying occurred.
Due to my high intellect and having a shy personality outside of the classroom, I was a frequent target for bullies. I was frequently beat up in the inclusion room and the director who witnessed the beatings, harassment, which included homophobic and anti Semitic slurs, did nothing to stop the bullying and after a beating, I got blamed for starting the fight and got the bullies' punishments.
After deciding to flex my rights and rightfully state my opinion to the teacher over her unfair treatment of me and criticizing her job as a special needs director, she punished me even more by taking even more privileges away. Eventually I was sent to a special needs school in a different state as a result of the emotional trauma of the bullying.
By the time I was in the second school, I was very wary of being blamed for and punished for something I didn't do stemming from the previous school.
The special needs school initially didn't provide me with 1 on 1 tutoring as they promised me due to questions about my IEP (Individualized Education Plan) and I feel behind by several years, and the lack of computer access made my knowledge slow down much more as before I entered the school when I was 15, nearly everything I learned was self-taught through online learning and research.
Beside that, the residential staff knew my history of being scapegoated and blamed for and punished for things I didn't do. And they tried blaming for things I didn't do and punish me by making me sit for extended periods of times on the floor past my bedtime and the more I argued with them and the more I pleaded my innocence, the longer they made me sit. After submitting to an unfair punishment without little to no arguing I sat on the floor I requested and they told me I could stand up when they told me to and I sat without arguing with them. Usually a typical forced self-restraint was only used on students who were extremely violent and or at a threat of self injurious behavior and they knew this will humiliate and embarrass me and make me feel like I was worthless and powerless.
However, I overcame all these difficulties and by 2020, not only was I on the verge of graduating college, but I was already hired as a broadcaster and I was to begin working as soon as I graduated, yet it was 5 years too late unfortunately as it was my goal to get the job by age 25, not 30. But, nevertheless I was very happy with all the obstacles I overcame and what the outcome came out to be.
A week after my first day on the job, I went to bed in my apartment in Queens to prepare for my next day on the job.
Right before I fell asleep I prayed for a girlfriend and that she would do BDSM with me.
The next thing I knew when I woke up due to some pain in my ankles and wrists was that I was spread eagled tied to a bed and a figure was on top of me. I wasn't able to tell whether the person was a male or female since when I looked up all I could see was the stomach of the person and their six pack.
Then, I felt their soft but very strong hand grip my leg and began to tickle my feet like crazy and felt there silky smooth forearm Glide across my leg as they were tickling my feet, I realized that it was a girl, albeit a very muscular and fit girl that was torturing me.
I was sure that I was kidnapped and that I was being tortured by a kidnapper who went in through an open window and took me away.
What's my eyes adjusted to the darkness I realized that I was at a house and not a basement and that's something very weird was going on.
as I looked around the room for Clues to that was able to move my head, but partly due to The Snug restraints around my chest, I was able to tell that it was not my apartment.
It was close my 29th birthday and since my 25th birthday, I had lost close to 50 lbs and gained some muscle, had a flat midsection, and had the first beginnings of a six-pack and even my ribs showed when I lifted my and above my head.
I was by then, 5'11" and weighed 150 lbs, which was my goal weight.
